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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn't pay?

516 replies

WhinersAreWeners · 22/03/2015 18:35

My friend and I have boys the same age, who share a hobby and attend the same group related to it. Over the last few years we've taken them to various independent events to do with it. The latest was yesterday. I saw it advertised, told her my boy was going and she said hers would too. It was some distance away and an all day event so we decided to drive the boys, then go off shopping & for lunch etc. The tickets for said event were £20 each. Friend was fully aware of this, knew it was pay on the day. No issues there.

So yesterday we get there, friend has no cash so I pay for both boys and she says 'I'll give you the money when we get to town' I think nothing of it. Later we're having lunch, Friend receives call from the place saying son wants to leave. We go back, they say he won't participate, sulking etc. friend chats to son who is basically petulant and moody & says he didn't get put on the team he wanted to be on so wants to go. Causes a scene. Friend takes him home.

This morning I recieve a text. Saying 'off on holiday to day- just to let you know, won't be paying for yesterday as son didn't enjoy it'

Now, she knows I've already paid for her son. She's not short on cash. I think that's really rude to expect me to foot the bill??? I know I told her about it but I didn't invite son and make her think I'd pay??

Don't get me wrong- it's not that big of a deal- it won't make me stop the boys seeing each other or anything. But I do think a bit less of her? Aibu?

OP posts:
xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 22/03/2015 21:21

She's a cunt. Put poo in her letterbox whilst she's on holiday.

Tizwailor · 22/03/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlightbright1 · 22/03/2015 21:36

To be fair I am not sure why the organisers would refund her either because her son didn't like it.

I personally would go with the you can take it up with the organisers however I loaned you £20 to pay and I still need that money

flanjabelle · 22/03/2015 21:43

I need to hear her reply. I bet it's cheeky as!

QueenInTheNorth · 22/03/2015 21:53

Gosh, how crazy of her, how rude! I am also dying to hear her reply.

Ineedacleaningfairy · 22/03/2015 22:00

Your reply was great! What an odd person. I'm a bit shocked at her going to collect her dc because the teams were not to his liking.

sykadelic · 22/03/2015 22:02

I just can't understand how she thinks that it's okay for YOU to pay for HER child to attend something... let alone okay not to pay you back because her kid didn't enjoy it... I'm just shocked.

I also don't understand what she expected you to say? Okay? It'd be one thing if she'd said "I'm thinking about getting my money back because he didn't enjoy it. Because you paid, did you want me to pay you back and claim myself, or did you want to try getting the money back from them directly?"

Unless it was absolute shit and many kids hated it, I can't see how her kids mood is the blame of the company and why she thinks she's entitled to get her money back (maybe half as a good faith measure).

AyeWrite · 22/03/2015 22:27

Hmm, I reckon this one is a chancer. Dodging rounds of drinks,this is just the next step.

This is why she isn't short of money

ChasedByBees · 22/03/2015 22:37

I think your text could have been a bit firmer - she obviously doesn't care that you're out of pocket so I think you'll have to get tough. This would be a friendship ender for me.

thenightsky · 22/03/2015 22:38

Marking place purely to find out what she replies to text!

Shocking behaviour on her part so far.

ChillySundays · 22/03/2015 22:40

If she won't cough up then at least you know not to take then again.

I have had someone not pay me for tickets because it is ages away and the tickets haven't come yet. Come out of my bank account though. Needless to say didn't ask them again.

snice · 22/03/2015 22:53

Your text is too wishy-washy. She is relying on you being too polite to pursue her for the money.

'Hi friend. Can you pay me back the 20 I lent you yesterday when you had no cash to pay your son's entrance fee? Sorry he didn't enjoy it btw. Not sure when I'll see you next so perhaps you could put the cash through our door?'

woodhill · 22/03/2015 22:57

I think yanbu, fancy sending out a text saying she will not be paying u back.

MrsTedCrilly · 22/03/2015 22:59

Good reply OP Smile

BadLad · 22/03/2015 23:06

Don't be a twat. I need that fucking twenty quid back

That's the politest reply I think most men would send.

Pipbin · 22/03/2015 23:07

I don't understand why she thinks this is ok. Do the boys know about this? Are they likely to talk about it at school?

sleeponeday · 22/03/2015 23:10

What a disgusting person she sounds. No wonder her kid is so petulant and snitty, if that's the example she sets. Good for you with the reply. But ugh, people can be horrifying at times.

HaveTeaWillSurvive · 23/03/2015 04:33

Personally I think your reply was spot, it's a good non-confrontational way of saying 'wtf hope you aren't thinking I'm paying' and means she either can pay you, ignore you - so you can loudly ask for it at school or keep pestering her, or categorically say she thinks you should pay for her son - when you can guilt free unleash a mn drafted proper wtf response.

Don't forget to update us!

Misslgl88 · 23/03/2015 06:42

Shock shamelessly place marking cheeky bint!

lottieandmias · 23/03/2015 06:52

Wtf? I'm shocked that anyone could be so entitled. It's not your problem her son didn't enjoy it - she needs to cough up. Who on earth does she think she is?

Rhymerocket · 23/03/2015 07:05

I think your lSttext was probably the type of thing I would send. I hope she sees sense but from what u say id say she's ignoring you now.

RebootYourEngine · 23/03/2015 07:12

So because her son behaved like a spoilt brat & left early she expects you to pay for that. Cheeky cow.

BafanaThesober · 23/03/2015 07:13

Omgood gracious
What a Brass necked cowbag is she!!
And normally people like that just avoid the money topic altogether after the event, but no - she was brass necked enough to tell you that she wasn't paying!!

I'm with your husband.

wowfudge · 23/03/2015 07:28

Just re-read the OP. It isn't clear that the friend means she won't be paying Whiners back, but the response she has been sent will hopefully clarify this.

If she really does think she somehow doesn't have to pay, then she's no friend. Not sure how old the kids are, but if I were his parent I'd be making sulky son pay me back the £20 as a consequence for his behaviour.

DiDiddlyIDi · 23/03/2015 07:29

I hope she had replied!!