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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect people to share a room with their children?

337 replies

Sukie272 · 19/03/2015 16:53

Last weekend my partner's friend and his wife visited for 3 nights with their 2 sons (age 3 and 7). They were our first house-guests as we recently moved in together. I'd never met them before and was really looking forward to it. We have a 3-bed house and made spare room into a guestroom, with twin beds for the parents and a couple of sleeping-bags and camping-mats for the children. We assumed they'd want to share a room with their children, but when we showed them the guestroom they looked shocked and the dad made a joke about the kids keeping them awake all night!

Over dinner the mum started dropping hints about what we use our 3rd bedroom for, we explained it's our office. We didn't offer to let the children sleep in there as all our computer equipment, fragile electronics and paperwork etc is in there and it's a very small room.

Later that evening we were having drinks in living-room when the mum asked her husband (in front of us) if they should put the kids to bed in living-room and suggested the kids could sleep on sofas. My partner pointed out if they did that, the adults would then have nowhere to sit and socialise, unless we sat around table in kitchen which is not very comfortable (they put their kids to bed at 7pm). Also our sofas are rather delicate leather with electric tilt function so we didn't want children climbing on them or playing unsupervised in night. As an alternative my partner offered to bring the mattresses into living-room so parents could sleep there when we called it at night, but they declined.

All weekend they kept making comments about how badly they'd slept, as if sharing a room with their children was a big nuisance. Their sons seemed perfectly happy about sleeping arrangements and 7-year-old told me it was like 'a really fun sleepover!'

Were we unreasonable to expect them to share with their kids? Do most people provide 2 rooms for families? We don't have our own yet (one on the way) but assumed parents would want to share a room with children to keep an eye on them.

OP posts:
Meow75 · 19/03/2015 16:56

Doesn't matter what most people do. You provided perfectly adequate sleeping arrangements and if the parents had viewed the experience as a bit of fun, like their kids did, they might have actually enjoyed themselves.

What an ungrateful pair.

Oh, just in case you're not sure, UANBU

Bowlersarm · 19/03/2015 16:57

They sound very rude. Terrible guests.

We didn't/don't like sharing with ours and never do on holiday,,in hotels etc, but I would do it if our hosts wanted us to, and sound grateful!

Samcro · 19/03/2015 16:58

yanbu

JeanneTheRabidFeminist · 19/03/2015 16:58

I would have been with them, TBH. I'd be a little surprised if people with a spare room didn't use it, for that number of people, and for small children.

AlPacinosHooHaa · 19/03/2015 16:58

yes 100% I would expect to be put with my own, and expect to share with them.

however your the host and they were not happy with the arrangements, for whatever reason! so I think as host you could have accommodated them.

as for sofas, my bro has those and they are fine, dc that age usually tend to fall asleep when tired and not stay up and play games...esp not at three.

i sense a little preciousness there that perhaps wasn't necessary on your part, but ultimatly they should have been fine sharing.

ouryve · 19/03/2015 16:58

We often shared with ours when they were younger.

Sleeping arrangements is something that should really have been hashed out beforehand, though. Next time, suggest they find a B&B, if they want separate rooms.

CobbOnn · 19/03/2015 16:58

Ridiculous. YANBU. It's like tetris with us. Adults and kids slotted in wherever they will fit!

RunsWithScissors · 19/03/2015 16:58

They sound a bit rude to be honest. Asking once, fine. Going on and on and complaining (after offering them an alternative of them sleeping in the living room), not on.

We visit and have visitors very often. Lots of families, almost always in one room (space permitting).

Hobby2014 · 19/03/2015 16:58

But the other room wasn't a spare room.. it's an office..

Hissy · 19/03/2015 16:59

Dump em. They are rude and unmannered!

AlPacinosHooHaa · 19/03/2015 16:59

we cant see the room, perhaps it was really squashed and thats why they were surprised?

StrangeGlue · 19/03/2015 16:59

They're weird when you stay with people you roll with what they set up (and your arrangements were grand).

AlPacinosHooHaa · 19/03/2015 16:59

Asking once, fine. Going on and on and complaining (after offering them an alternative of them sleeping in the living room), not on.

i agree

exexpat · 19/03/2015 16:59

If I had two spare rooms, I'd probably put children that age in a separate room from their parents, just because they probably go to bed much earlier, and the parents are likely to disturb them when going to bed. At that age I wouldn't particularly feel the need to keep an eye on them at night.

But if someone I was staying with only had one spare room, then I wouldn't think it was odd to share with the children. I can understand about not wanting to put children in the office room, but obviously not everyone would get it.

ouryve · 19/03/2015 17:00

Actually, I bet they were disappointed that they didn't get a chance for a shag.

LadyintheRadiator · 19/03/2015 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

butterfly2015 · 19/03/2015 17:06

Yanbu. Next time just invite the kids as they seemed to enjoy it. Unlike their ungrateful parents.

We've had people stay here and my friend slept in the bottom bunk, one of her kids was in the top bunk and her other three were on blow up beds on the floor. My youngest went on the floor in her sisters room.

We've even had people sleep in the campervan on the drive.

Paintedpinksapphires · 19/03/2015 17:06

We would generally expect to share with our children staying in someone's house. Your guests were very, very rude.

We have more than one spare room and often smaller children want to share with their folks in a strange house regardless of available space.

googoodolly · 19/03/2015 17:08

I think if you're staying with someone, you take what you're given, tbh. I've had to share with my mum when staying with family, and she keeps me awake with her snoring, but it's something I have to put up with.

In an ideal world, we would sleep separately, but I think it's really rude to complain when someone has been kind enough to host you overnight.

cariadlet · 19/03/2015 17:08

YANBU

If you had 2 spare rooms, then I'm sure you would have put the adults in one and the children in the other. But you only have one so you put them all in it. What on earth is their problem? Very ungrateful and ungracious guests. They should have turned it into an indoor-camping adventure for their children. The children would have been fine with it. The guest were just plain rude.

btw, we always had a family room on holiday when dd was that age. We wouldn't have put her in her own room in a hotel in case she woke in the night. It's no big deal to share with your kids.

wheresthelight · 19/03/2015 17:09

I don't think you're being precious, if I had expensive leather sofas I wouldn't want anyone sleeping on them let alone 2 kids of those ages.

frankly your guests sound like ungrateful idiots! your provisions were more than adequate considering you only have 1 spare room and as your dp offered them a mattress in the lounge then you did everything possible and they are just arsehole

AlpacaMyBags · 19/03/2015 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Happy36 · 19/03/2015 17:09

Very rude of them. You were being more than reasonable.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 19/03/2015 17:11

What miserable gits!

You're not a hotel!

Blu · 19/03/2015 17:13

Perfectly normal to put kids on the floor of a parents' room when staying at someone's house!

They were offered the option of having their mattresses in the living room and refused - they sound very precious.