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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect people to share a room with their children?

337 replies

Sukie272 · 19/03/2015 16:53

Last weekend my partner's friend and his wife visited for 3 nights with their 2 sons (age 3 and 7). They were our first house-guests as we recently moved in together. I'd never met them before and was really looking forward to it. We have a 3-bed house and made spare room into a guestroom, with twin beds for the parents and a couple of sleeping-bags and camping-mats for the children. We assumed they'd want to share a room with their children, but when we showed them the guestroom they looked shocked and the dad made a joke about the kids keeping them awake all night!

Over dinner the mum started dropping hints about what we use our 3rd bedroom for, we explained it's our office. We didn't offer to let the children sleep in there as all our computer equipment, fragile electronics and paperwork etc is in there and it's a very small room.

Later that evening we were having drinks in living-room when the mum asked her husband (in front of us) if they should put the kids to bed in living-room and suggested the kids could sleep on sofas. My partner pointed out if they did that, the adults would then have nowhere to sit and socialise, unless we sat around table in kitchen which is not very comfortable (they put their kids to bed at 7pm). Also our sofas are rather delicate leather with electric tilt function so we didn't want children climbing on them or playing unsupervised in night. As an alternative my partner offered to bring the mattresses into living-room so parents could sleep there when we called it at night, but they declined.

All weekend they kept making comments about how badly they'd slept, as if sharing a room with their children was a big nuisance. Their sons seemed perfectly happy about sleeping arrangements and 7-year-old told me it was like 'a really fun sleepover!'

Were we unreasonable to expect them to share with their kids? Do most people provide 2 rooms for families? We don't have our own yet (one on the way) but assumed parents would want to share a room with children to keep an eye on them.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 22/03/2015 11:04

I totally agree Auryanne, I have 2 young kids. I don't think op guests judging by their behaviour would give a fig whether their children ruined op stuff or not, would probably laugh it off as kids being kids, and that it's good practice for op and her partner to experience it.

I have had friends kids round who have flooded my bathroom causing water damage to the celling, put my very expensive Calvin Klein perfume on the floor. Weed on the carpet etc. they are kids after all, not robots, I woukd not trusts op guests to keep an eye on their kids.

SirChenjin · 22/03/2015 11:05

As usual, everyone in the thread seems to have perfectly behaved children

Eh? Where is this 'everyone' on this thread who has perfect children? Confused

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/03/2015 11:12

yanbu

your guests were rude, yes maybe they assumed that a 3 bed home they would have a bedroom each, but once they knew this was not the case, they should have kept stum NOT suggest kids sleeping in office and possibly break/pull wires

and tbh no kids are going to fall asleep at 7pm in a living room with adults/noise next door in the kitchen, and neither would i want to spend my evening in a kitchen when have a good sofa with electric fun bits Grin

shame the parents/guests couldnt have been more like their kids and put it down to fun time

where as if put upstairs in bedroom would more likely sleep and parents get changed via small lamp when they went to bed or can get changed in bathroom if light disturbs their children

i would mention next time if you have any famillies stay rather then couples, that they will be sharing a room as 3rd bedroom was an office

and staying in bed till 11am i think is rude when you have kids who are up !!!!

Apatite1 · 22/03/2015 11:28

Bloody hell, there's no way I'd let kids sleep in my office! It's full of important documents and other people's confidential information they have trusted me with so I wouldn't even let anyone peek inside.

The living arrangements were absolutely adequate, any guest with even a modicum of manners would have accepted it graciously. Some people here must make awful guests, I cant imagine acting like that in somebody else's home!

Aeroflotgirl · 22/03/2015 11:34

Exactly Apitate, not only that, they were happy to let their heavily pregnant host with morning sickness look after their kids fir 5 hours over 2 days, as they wanted a lie in, it would make goodpractice for them. How bloody rude and pretentious. That would be the last time they stayed over in my house. Op what is your plan next time for them?

Fannydabbydozey · 22/03/2015 11:48

I'm staying at my friend's new house in just over a week's time with my husband and two kids. I have no clue how many bedrooms there are or what the sleeping arrangements will be. That's because I'm off for a few days of fun and lots of wine with my friends and not for a relaxing, pampering mini break.

Those poor pwecious guests of the op... god forbid they go camping or stay in a family room in a hotel. Or maybe they have and expected the other hotel guests/campers to entertain their kids while they had a lie in...

They are entitled, selfish and rude. I can't believe you looked after their kids for five hours in the morning while they slept... Lazy gits.

I sleep badly, and have to get up really early for work all the sodding time (from 0245 onwards, tis shite) but I wouldn't be looking to recoup that sleep while visiting my mates. Or visiting anybody.

I quite like sleeping with my kids, even though one kicks, one snores and they both wake up earlier than i'd like. I like the morning snuggles and chats.

Worrying about how many bedrooms you'll have when staying with friends is just such a fucking first world problem too.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/03/2015 12:00

If they wanted a luxury stay, they should have booked themselves in a hotel with 2 rooms. The average oerson does not have 2 spare rooms, unless the hosts live in an 10 bedroom mansion with guest wing. I am glad most on here see that they were rude and selfish.

DisappointedOne · 22/03/2015 12:14

I'm at my nan's at the moment. It's a 7 bedroom house and she lives alone. DH, DD (4) and I are in one double bed (4' 6"). Wouldn't dream of doing it any other way.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/03/2015 12:20

Op your 'guests' were rude and insolent, and if I were you and your dp, I would never have them stay again. If they required 2 bedrooms, the onus is on THEM to ask what the sleeping arrangement were beforehand. Why the hell did they not book themselves into a hotel for the other 2 nights, hang on, they would have to pay for 2 bedrooms if they wanted it their way. Tightwad freeloaders.

expatinscotland · 22/03/2015 12:26

What does your partner now think of his mates, because I'd be seriously upset that they acted like this at my house and treated me as a babysitter?

Springtulip · 22/03/2015 12:40

The thing is, when it's your own kids you can tell them off if you see them trying to grab something breakable and expensive, when it's other people's kids you have to rely on their parents to do so. Trouble is, many parents seem to ignore what their kids do to other people's stuff, so you get the situation where you're on edge worrying what the little darlings are going to break.

woodhill · 22/03/2015 12:53

they sound rude and ungrateful. don't ever have them to stay again.

why would you want to put dc in a room with delicate equipment etc.

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