wedding clashes with mothers day

[crabappling]

I've booked wedding with new partner. Its this sunday. He has just told me his ex says she wants to see dcs as its mothers day. I had no idea that it clashes with mothers day until last month when she brought it up. Its still not resolved. Ex normally sees her dcs on mothers day. She has asked us to rearrange wedding. I think oh's ex is being unreasonable and we have offered her another day to have dcs as we want them to be at wedding.

I don't know who is being unreasonable.

Oh yikes. Well seeing as your wedding is in 3 days time it's too late to cancel now really isn't it.

What time is it? Is it possible to have them at the wedding and at the reception for a short while and then she comes and picks them up? Or if your wedding is later, she has them for a while in the morning?

The ex is being totally unreasonable

Hallmark cards day Mother's day is every single year.

You're only going to marry your DP once.

When choosing your wedding date, the responsibility is yours to ensure that it doesn't clash with any other important date.

YABU

Agree with worra. Mothers Day was invented by card companies and tesco to make us buy more shit. It is totally unreasonable of the ex to ask you to rearrange the date. Besides whats the change you rearrange the date and she finds some other objection. Kids can see their mum that day anyway can't they?
silly woman.

"what's the chance" I meant

That's a bit harsh Battery. IMO a wedding trumps Mothering Sunday

You can't cancel it now as it's three days away, can't she have the kids in the morning or afternoon?

I think that the ex is being unreasonable by asking you to cancel it, it's a wedding FGS.

She is being so far beyond ridiculous it's not even a spot on the horizon anymore.

Good luck trying to resolve it though. As DP often says to me, you can't reason a person out of a position that they didn't reason themselves into.

(congrats on the wedding)

Thanks guys. It was an honest mistake. It didn't even occur to us.

She is being ridiculous - if Mother's Day is important to her (which is fine if it is) she'll just have to celebrate it on a different day this year? Could she see them on Saturday? Or next weekend could be all about her?

I accept that there is nothing that can be done about it now, but yes, I do think that there is only one Mother's day per year. Taken together with, say a dozen other dates that should be avoided (birthdays, anniversaries of bereavements etc) that still leaves a very large number of 'clear' days. It was thoughtless of you not to be more careful.

I think this will be particularly hurtful to the ex, as there will probably be a small (and admittedly quite unreasonable) part of her that feels a bit miffed about your marriage anyway - to 'take' her DCs away on Mother's Day kind of comes across as just rubbing it in.

She will get over it, no doubt, but in years to come, she (and the DCs) will still remember that the father of her DCs chose to marry another woman on Mother's Day.

Really Battery? Surely as long as you get 'a' mother's day sometime around now that's just as good? I never understand people who are so specific about doing actual dates of things - it's much better to be a bit flexible and have a nice planned day than some squashed affair.

Mother's day happens every year. A wedding is a sort of one off thing, really.

Battery, I agree with the majority but I would, wouldn't I?

Ex has had to give up seeing his kids on his birthday in the past.

I am not seeing my own mother as she has made other plans. Is this day really that big a deal for some?

How old are the kids? Has anyone asked their opinion? Can you quickly ordain them as chief bridesmaid/pageboy, so they can't possibly miss the day?

Kids are 7 and 9. They desperately want to go to wedding.

Ex is being unreasonable, my mum is working Sunday so I am taking her out for lunch on Saturday instead.

How exactly does she expect you to rearrange your wedding in 3 days?

Your mum isn't going to your wedding???

You're not seeing your own mother on your wedding day because she has made other plans?

It is just Mothers Day. It is fuck all.

His ex is being totally ridiculous. Are relationships normally strained?

I'm from a family that take Mother's Day seriously for religious and cultural reasons. I think we would just give it a miss for that year if there was a wedding to attend. Presumably the custody arragements don't cover who has the children on Mother's Day?

The fact that she stopped her children going to a wedding they desparetly want to go to won't go down well in the future but I guess she isn't seeing sense.

I'm not saying it's crime of the century, but definitely 'poor form'

I guess I see it as being similar to naming your child the same as your best friend's - nobody owns a name, but of all the others you could have chosen, why that one?

Ex being a nob. And battery is too