wedding clashes with mothers day

[crabappling]

I've booked wedding with new partner. Its this sunday. He has just told me his ex says she wants to see dcs as its mothers day. I had no idea that it clashes with mothers day until last month when she brought it up. Its still not resolved. Ex normally sees her dcs on mothers day. She has asked us to rearrange wedding. I think oh's ex is being unreasonable and we have offered her another day to have dcs as we want them to be at wedding.

I don't know who is being unreasonable.

Well if it's your weekend anyway she doesn't have a leg to stand on.had she asked to swap prior to you announcing your wedding because of Mother's Day?

I am shocked that some people are saying the OB is BU for having a wedding on Mother's Day as it's 'an important day'.
It's really not, it's an arbitrary date picked by who know's where we're told our worth as mother's hangs in the balance of some overpriced cards and chocolates.
Mother's day is no more an important day than Valentine's Day. It's a nice excuse to do something nice, no more.
OP have a lovely wedding and ignore the ex, she can have her obligatory visit and card the next day, it won't hurt.

No, she hasn't. Normally though she has it in good will.

"We have residence. That is our weekend. "
oh for god's sake, she is being really unreasonble, you know it. You are being really thoughtful even considering this tbh.

When did Mothers Day stop being a bunch of daffs and a cup of tea in bed if you're lucky and start being an entire day of festivities and expenditure and public displays of devotion?

Oh that's right, when the marketing companies got hold if it. It's no more a special day than Halloween is although the marketing companies are busy trying to turn that into a global event that everyone must participate in as well. My 5 year old has already told me he needs a new Halloween costume . When did all this nonsense happen?

Of course mum might like to see her kids on mother's day and if she was very lucky get a card or a homemade present from school, but not if there's something much more important going on. Attention seeking nonsense imho.

If I've understood this correctly the DC live with their mother. Meaning she'll get to have a lovely Mothers Day Breakfast be woken up unreasonable early to be spoilt with cards and chocolates that the DC will eat themselves I'm imagining a standard mothers day. So what is she whinging about?

Wedding trumps, commercial day that has lost its original purpose.

Plus the DC want to see their Dad be happy and tie the knot. Ex is being very unreasonable.

the ex is being unreasonable. It's your wedding day!!!

Yes, of course I have made mistakes, but where I have done so, I try to acknowledge them, make amends and try to smooth things over, as I am suggesting you consider doing too.

She IBU to expect you to rearrange your Wedding, but you have it in your power to make things a bit better, at very little cost to yourself. Why would you not?

Lol that sounds like my kind of thing disappointedone :)

Mother's Day has always been overshadowed in our farming family by the on-going exhausting task of lambing over 1000 sheep in March. My DM is always way too tired to even open a card, let alone be grateful! I remember one year we (probably aged 8ish) took her breakfast in bed but she wasn't even there as she'd been up since 4am with her arm up a ewe's vag! :D

I do nice stuff with her every now and then, and often tell her how great she is. Likewise with my DS now (who at 3 is still too young to understand), I'm not that bothered, he brings me so much joy I don't feel the need for him to thank me on a specific day as long as one day he does!

fortifiedwithtea The dc live with op and her soon to be husband.

The ex is being unreasonable op.

I already said we have offered her another date. I admit it was a mistake.

When did you book the wedding out of interest? The fact that your mum is going away on holiday instead makes me wonder if it was quite last minute?

Not that this matters. The ex is being unreasonable, altohugh I can understand WHY she is upset as her ex is marrying someone else. But its your weekend so the DCs need to be with you and at your wedding.

They should do something nice the day after for her - flowers etc.

It was last minute.

Fair enough OP, if you genuinely think you've done enough to smooth things over, then no need to worry.

I would just be mindful that you might need her to be flexible/accommodating in the future - how you handle this might just backfire on you one day.

Ignore me, I'm a slow poster. I didn't see OP has residence .

But Ex is still being an arse

"Mothering Sunday, or Mother's Day, is traditionally a day to visit your mother church. It is now an occasion to bring gifts to your own mother."

there you go

Battery. Ex has got residence as she is a vindictive woman. This will back fire as she holds grudges.

Stop saying you made a mistake, you did no such thing! You organised your wedding for a weekend when you and you partner have the children. Oh no Mother's Day is that weekend! Are we really saying someone should organise their WEDDING around Mother's Day?! What nonsense! Next thing you know people won't be having weddings if it's St. Paddy's Day, just in case they offend their friends who want to go out on the lash.

This is all ridiculous for one day. I won't see my mum or my children this Mothering Sunday. I may get a card from my daughter maybe not from my son as he isn't into all this commercial rubbish but they both love me and I love my mum. I was widowed 3 years ago the day after Mother's Day so it's not a great day anyway now.
People need to get their priorities sorted in life.

lol twinkie or ST David's day because their granny was Welsh and you need to cook some leeks.

It's very easy to overlook the date of Mothering Sunday- given that it changes every year, as it is dictated by the date of Easter (it's not a random date, it falls on the 4th Sunday of Lent)- so OP, yadnbu.

In fact, how many people know what date it will be next year, or can remember what date it was last year? Not many, probably.

As I said, fair enough, this is your situation and up to you how you manage it.

She is miffed, as would I be in her shoes. Also worth remembering that MN is not the real world and that a even a unanimous YABU/YANBU on here does not necessarily translate as such IRL.

I think there is unreasonableness on both sides here, if truth be told. On balance, your wedding does indeed 'trump' mothers day, but it would behove you well to make an effort to acknowledge her feelings.

Ex is ridiculous. She can "make" mother's day another day for her family. As long as she gets a day.

Doesn't she care how her kids feel?

Ex is being utterly ridiculous. A wedding is an important life event. Mothers Day really isn't.

My ex is having the kids this weekend. It wouldn't have occurred to me to ask to reschedule because it's Mother's Day.

She is being petty and silly - especially considering the kids want to go to the wedding. Don't cancel your wedding!

"They desperately want to go to wedding." "Things are strained." She possibly thinks you did this deliberately. I think I would in this case. I would also feel sad that my DC were so excited to be away form me on Mother's Day.

I agree with Battery that the joyless, curmudgeonly attitude to birthdays, Christmas and other celebrations on MN is odd to me. I accept that others don't care about them, I don't understand why they can't understand that they are important to some. And, why organise a last minute wedding that clashes with your DM being away AND Mother's Day?

This is what Save The Date cards are for