wedding clashes with mothers day

[crabappling]

I've booked wedding with new partner. Its this sunday. He has just told me his ex says she wants to see dcs as its mothers day. I had no idea that it clashes with mothers day until last month when she brought it up. Its still not resolved. Ex normally sees her dcs on mothers day. She has asked us to rearrange wedding. I think oh's ex is being unreasonable and we have offered her another day to have dcs as we want them to be at wedding.

I don't know who is being unreasonable.

She had planned a trip to Venice.

Is your Mum not going to be at your wedding?

It's a difficult one, I couldn't help but feel sad that my DC will be at my Ex's wedding rather than with me for Mother's Day and the fact that her DC 'desperately' want to go to the wedding would also be hurtful so I understand that from her point of view.

What about a compromise? They come to the ceremony and spend the rest of the time with their Mum.

Battery, did someone name their kid the same as yours?

I don't think you can criticise a woman for wanting to see her young children on Mother's Day and I doubt she is too bothered about her ex getting married or sees it as important to her

I can't believe the importance people are placing on what is essentially a commercialised money-making scheme.

If it were me, I would send the ex some flowers, apologise and explain that it was a mistake and be extra super flexible re contact arrangements so that they can have a Mother's Day 'rerun' soon.

It definitely doesn't warrant rearranging your wedding over, but you do have some smoothing over to do IMO.

I am on the commercialised money-making scheme side. Surely they can do something next weekend when everything will be cheaper anyway .

Its just mothers day. Wedding definitely trumps bloody mothers day.

So anyone else thinking Battery IS the ex. If anything the ex should send the OP some flowers and get over herself!

I can't believe the importance people are placing on what is essentially a commercialised money-making scheme.

I hate this whole joyless attitude and feel so sad at the frequency with which it appears on MN. Like birthdays not being permitted for adults - just so curmudgeonly.

Ah, I see.

Pretty poor form to expect you to reschedule the wedding - that's really not an option! I can see why she feels it might be a bit unfair, & she probably doesn't really care about her ex getting married. But that doesn't mean she can dictate what other people do, particularly not the marrying couple!

"I'm from a family that take Mother's Day seriously for religious and cultural reasons. I think we would just give it a miss for that year if there was a wedding to attend. Presumably the custody arragements don't cover who has the children on Mothers Day"
YOu seem to be confusing the Hallmark day with Mothering Sunday.
And it is residence and access, not 'custody'. Just saying.

and Battery, we never did Mother's Day that is because at that time it had not been grabbed by commerce as another chance to make some dosh out of dopes.
Every day is mother's day ffs.

No, def not the ex

One event is allowed to 'trump' the other without that necessarily meaning that the 'trumped' event has no importance of it's own at all.

She wants you to re-arrange the wedding two days before the wedding. She's having a laugh.

what are their existing visitation/custody arrangements? Presumably you knew they would be with you that weekend and that is why you booked the wedding that day, or is the arrangement much looser than that?

Good gracious, the ex is being ridiculously precious! But then, I never understand these people who try to make a massive deal out of Mother's Day.

You can't cancel your wedding and the children want to be there, so she is just going to have to suck it up!

I think that to a (possibly bitter) ex's mind, you planning your wedding on Mother's Day might seem rather thoughtless, or worse, deliberate.

Given you are where you are, though, she is being unreasonable.

It's quite unusual to get married on a Sunday - didn't the venue flag up that is was Mother's day?

As your mother is not going to be at your wedding, then I can see why you wouldn't want other people missing.

Why on earth didn't your fiancé sort this out weeks ago? He is the one who shoukd know when it's her weekend, and ask in good time for swops.

I'd be attacking him with pitchforks at this point, and telling him to sort it out.

I hope you can find some sort of compromise (splitting the day? has she actually made specific plans for the day?)

We have residence. That is our weekend. Relations are strained.

Does Mothering Sunday have a religious origin? I never knew that!

OP, no, nobody named their DC the same as mine either, I have, however just rearranged the date of my impending C Section so that my (as yet unborn) DC and DSS won't share a birthday though...just to be polite, like

She could be forgiven for thinking it was deliberate , as I think you know as twice you have said ' honest mistake, had no idea".
Its done now and it too late to change , was she really asking you to change your plans this late in the day?

Mrscog

When I say to people that we always choose a different day for xmas they look at me like I have 6 heads!

We have residence. That is our weekend

Then as far as I'm concerned you've done nothing wrong to plan your wedding during your time mothers day or not.

OK. Look, Battery. This wasn't intentional. It was an honest mistake. Haven't you ever made any?