Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say "please don't bring a present" on DD's birthday invitations?

215 replies

DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 09:57

Is this acceptable behaviour? There will be 30 kids. I don't want people to have to bring anything/wrap stuff/spend money. Also, more selfishly, I also don't want to have to remember who got what. DD is 5.

P.S. Before the "THIS THREAD HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE" brigade leap in, yes, I'm sure it has. Just want your live, up-to-date opinions please. Smile

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 10:22

I'm always baffled when the parents on these kind of threads say their child would be overwhelmed by 30 presents but they are never overwhelmed by 30 excitable party goers.

How odd. These are two totally separate issues.

OP posts:
Notso · 24/02/2015 10:24

Sorry cross posted about the class party.

Floggingmolly · 24/02/2015 10:24

You have your reasons for inviting 30 children... Fair enough. Maybe just accept that 30 presents is part of the deal?

Floggingmolly · 24/02/2015 10:25

How are they two separate issues???

Cobain · 24/02/2015 10:25

I had a similar invitation, most interpreted the invitation was a polite way of asking for cash. A few parents felt guilty when they realised that the majority had put money in cards. The host would probably tell you it was a great success but as with most things the where not privy to the conversations.

Original poster
DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 10:25

Maybe just accept that 30 presents is part of the deal?

Yes, I could. But I'm wondering if there is another option.

Incidentally, I think I'd be saying the same if we'd invited 10 people rather than 30. I think the presents are unneccessary, personally.

OP posts:
HearTheThunderRoar · 24/02/2015 10:26

YABU. It's your DD's party, not yours, she should decide if she wants presents or not.

Another one who does not understand a whole class party. Did it once as just moved to the community. Never ever fucking again.

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2015 10:27

I don't think they're totally separate issues at all.

Inviting children who are not actually friends is normally done for selfish reasons.

Either because the parent is trying to 'secure' future party invites for their child, they want their child to appear 'popular' or they like the idea of their child receiving 30 presents.

But it's never done for unselfish reasons at all.

ZanyMobster · 24/02/2015 10:28

Grin well maybe you could do a list and put the Elsa dress on it in your size Wink

TheXxed · 24/02/2015 10:28

worra maybe she doesn't want to make children feel excluded.

TheXxed · 24/02/2015 10:30

I think you are YANBU! I don't think people should expect gifts.

ZanyMobster · 24/02/2015 10:30

I think I would probably think they were asking for money or vouchers but then I would be happy to contribute in this way if the child was saving up for something (would never be brave enough to ask for this though for my DCs)

WorraLiberty · 24/02/2015 10:31

Incidentally, I think I'd be saying the same if we'd invited 10 people rather than 30. I think the presents are unneccessary, personally

Look. Birthday parties are traditional. Part of that tradition is...

Party games
Birthday cake
Balloons
Party bags
Presents

2 hours of hell, 30 happy kids, pile of tat for DD to open. Everyone's happy at the end of the day.

Who knows, even you might be happy too when you put your aching feet up and reach for the wine

Snozberry · 24/02/2015 10:31

If she has too much stuff already, charity shop some of it. I think most parents will buy something small and/or consumable seeing as they have their own five year olds and hopefully some common sense. Part of the fun of a big party when you’re little is all the presents isn’t it?

Original poster
DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 10:31

But it's never done for unselfish reasons at all
Omniscience must be a handy too for you, Worra.

I'm really not up for getting into party size arguments - to me it's a separate issue to the one I asked about.

Many thanks to everyone who's answered my question helpfully (be in YABU or YANBU). I think I have the gauge of opinion I was after. I'm off now. See you around Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 10:31

tool

OP posts:
Original poster
DryBetweenYourToesPlease · 24/02/2015 10:32

(I'm not calling anyone a tool, though)

OP posts:
Notso · 24/02/2015 10:33

I don't think they are two separate issues.

If you think presents are unnecessary then don't buy them.

senua · 24/02/2015 10:34

I disagree worra. We did lots of whole class parties at this age, I hated the idea of excluding anyone. Or was I being selfish in evading the friend / not-friend decision?Grin

YABU OP. Children like giving presents. Even more so, children like receiving presents. If there are too many presents just put some to one side and re-gift at the next party you are invited to.

HearTheThunderRoar · 24/02/2015 10:35

I can understand why you don't want 30 presents of tat though but thats the price you pay for inviting 30 kids and people will still probably give your DD a present.

I promise you presents do get better as they get older.

RainbowFlutterby · 24/02/2015 10:35

If you think presents are unnecessary do you turn down presents for your own birthday? And did you turn down presents when you were a child?

I know your DD is only 5, but I think saying "no presents" is a bit "up-your-own-arse-ish".

RhubarbAndMustard · 24/02/2015 10:38

I think you are being a bit mean. As a PP said, parties like this don't last for long and she should enjoy the presents now whilst she still gets them.
If your worried about thank you cards, do a generic 'thank you for coming' and print 30 times.
You could also put some presents away and bring a few out throughout the year so she really enjoys them.

ashtrayheart · 24/02/2015 10:38

When my dcs are invited to parties part of the fun is choosing a gift-yabu and a meanie

senua · 24/02/2015 10:39

I'm off now. See you around

Is it me being sensitive or is that rude? I note that this is OP's one and only contribution to MN. Wish I hadn't bothered posting now.

mumeeee · 24/02/2015 10:41

YABU. Getting presents is part of the Birthday party for the Birthday child. She is only 5 years old let her have presents. I never did whole class parties usually limited it to 10 children. That way I found the cost more manageable and there were only 10 not 30 presents

Swipe left for the next trending thread