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AIBU?

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Original poster

Mean to not have asked him to get off? At the park

288 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:20

Took ds to the park, it was on the way back from somewhere and getting dark so was only spending 15 minutes there at the most.

The park had completely emptied apart from one little girl. It's a big park, lots to do. Ds headed straight for a single swing, there are other swings but this one is a bit different.

The little girls parents called her to go home all within 60 seconds of us arriving. The little girl started crying that she wanted to go on the swing again before she went and stood by the swing ds was on. She stood there all arms crossed and grumpy faced waiting for him to get off.

For a second I thought I might ask him to let her have a go but thought better of it as she had the whole park to choose from.

Her parents stood there for 2-3 minutes before calling her away.

Ds is the most sharing child you could meet really he's always the one standing at the bottom of the slide letting all the other kids go first, he's always very patiently waiting for toddlers to decide if they want to go down the slide and stopping bigger kids from bashing into them so I thought sod it he's having his turn.

OP posts:
MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 10:22

I would have asked him to get off personally.

SavoyCabbage · 20/02/2015 10:24

I would have after the first minute. He had the whole park too!

FarelyKnuts · 20/02/2015 10:24

If he'd just gotten on the swing then YWNU to leave him to have a swing. Not your problem if they decided to leave and she wanted one last go on the only occupied apparatus.
If you left him on it for 10 minutes and let her stand there crying then ywbu.
Hth

NancyRaygun · 20/02/2015 10:25

But it would have been the nice thing to do.

FarelyKnuts · 20/02/2015 10:26

But honestly I'm not mean, so I'd have let the wee girl have a quick go and then popped him back on after

BlackDaisies · 20/02/2015 10:26

If there's something special about the swing it's understandable she wanted another turn. I would have asked him to let her have a turn after a minute or two. But not straight away though, if your ds had got there for a turn first.

SmellsLikeHorses · 20/02/2015 10:27

I would have asked him to get off, he had just arrived to start his 15 min at the park so could go on something else while the little girl had one last quick swing. I would then hope that the parents didn't indulge the girl with one last 15 min swing but that would be hopefully unlikely!

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:27

He'd literally just got on it. I leave under 5 minutes before swapping turns less if the park is busy.

True he had the whole park too but he's literally just got on, I'm almost certain that she only wanted it because another child was on it.

As we has very limited time there ourselves I decided I wasn't making ds give up his turn, he's giving enough.

OP posts:
NancyRaygun · 20/02/2015 10:29

The little girl doesn't know that your son is 'giving enough' though. You asked if it was mean - and I think yes. It was very mean.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:30

No nancy it's more ds, I didn't want him to feel as though he had to be kicked off the swing for another child.

OP posts:
LumpySpacedPrincess · 20/02/2015 10:33

Yanbu, he had only just got on it.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:33

I think maybe if she hasn't stood there glaring at him, and if her parents had told her to wait her turn I'd have been kinder. I generally am and so is ds. But all within 60 seconds they were expecting ds to move when he's just got there.

OP posts:
NancyRaygun · 20/02/2015 10:34

But you say to him: "shall we let this little girl have a last turn before she has to go? Then you can get back on and swing for a long time?". He would probably be emotionally able to get that if he is used to sharing - he sounds like a sweetheart. Honestly, the fact that you started this thread shows that you are worried about being mean - therefore probably usually lovely and just had a "you know what, no" moment! Grin Some buggers at the park would deliberately say 'ner ner ner ner neeer I got the swing!"

TheSolitaryWanderer · 20/02/2015 10:34

I think that it was fine not to give her a go, she thought that by crying, standing and being grumpy she'd get what she wanted. But she didn't.
It's one of those learning experiences.

FarelyKnuts · 20/02/2015 10:34

Then why ask if you were BU? You obviously don't think you were.
You could have been kind and gracious, you chose not to. No biggie. Your son got his "go" on the swing and you made your point that he'd get his turn.

storytopper · 20/02/2015 10:35

I would have said when they arrived, "my son has only just got on. You can have it in a few minutes."

FlabbyMummy · 20/02/2015 10:39

I would have let her have a last swing, taken my DS off the swing with a promise that he could go it on again before we left.

I think you were being mean.

carbolicsoaprocked · 20/02/2015 10:39

YANBU, I don't think it would've done the little girl any good to see that if she crosses her arms and pouts her lip she'll get another child kicked off the swing when he's just got on it.

zzzzz · 20/02/2015 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:42

Farelyknuts I was reading another thread about kids snatching and it reminded me of this. I'm not taking it too seriously.

As you say nancy it's not something I'd usually do I know it wasn't exactly kind but I had a 'sod it' moment.

Stroppy kids in play areas get tiresome when you've a soft kid yourself.

OP posts:
KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 20/02/2015 10:42

You we're mean. She just wanted one more go on the swing and then your son could've had as much time as he wanted since the park was empty.

Seriously. She was a little girl, you're an adult, it would've been the nice thing to do.

Nomama · 20/02/2015 10:45

Crikey!

When did OP and her son become responsible for every other kid's happiness?

He got on a swing and another kid saw him having fun and wanted it! Kind and gracious my arse!

Way to teach the poor boy that his feelings don't matter and that if a cute little girl cries he simply MUST give in!

Bollocks to that!

FarelyKnuts · 20/02/2015 10:45

Fair enough. I have a softy. She would always acquiesce her place to another child so I can understand the "sod it" feeling of making a stand over a swing Grin

DialsMavis · 20/02/2015 10:46

I would've said to my child "come on hop off just for a second, this little girl has to go and you can have your turn as we are staying a little while", then thanked my child for being kind

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 20/02/2015 10:47

That was exactly my thinking carbolics.

Just to put another angle, how many of you would actually let your own child stand glaring and crying arms crossed at another child because they were having a tantrum at home time?

Personally I'd tell ds it was tough luck another child is playing and he can choose something else or go home as he's told. which is maybe why he doesn't tantrum over other children playing

OP posts: