Mean to not have asked him to get off? At the park

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Took ds to the park, it was on the way back from somewhere and getting dark so was only spending 15 minutes there at the most.

The park had completely emptied apart from one little girl. It's a big park, lots to do. Ds headed straight for a single swing, there are other swings but this one is a bit different.

The little girls parents called her to go home all within 60 seconds of us arriving. The little girl started crying that she wanted to go on the swing again before she went and stood by the swing ds was on. She stood there all arms crossed and grumpy faced waiting for him to get off.

For a second I thought I might ask him to let her have a go but thought better of it as she had the whole park to choose from.

Her parents stood there for 2-3 minutes before calling her away.

Ds is the most sharing child you could meet really he's always the one standing at the bottom of the slide letting all the other kids go first, he's always very patiently waiting for toddlers to decide if they want to go down the slide and stopping bigger kids from bashing into them so I thought sod it he's having his turn.

I must be a massive blue meanie then, because someone else's child who has had their turn already, doesn't qualify for priority over my own kid who has just got there I'm afraid.
Ywnbu OP.

YANBU, your ds had only just got on. It's never to early to learn that getting stroppy won't necessarily get us what we want.

It's one of the things reception helps to teach, that you don't get to organise the world and other people to your liking.
Also that you don't have to always give way to someone else's demands, even if they get cross. She'd already had a turn and wanted another one.

And the more grumpy and demanding she looked about it, the less inclined I would have been to pander. Her parents can deal with her...not my problem.

I agree with you nomama - tough luck girlie!

The fact she'd already been on it and proceeded to stand there glaring mean I'd have been perfectly happy not to give in to her.

Although I will bear in mind now that if we are leaving the park and one of my kids wants another go on play equipment at the park that another child has just got on, that child is obliged to get off and hand it over for the sake of being gracious. Or some shit.

Or you know...maybe my kids will just have to suck it up and go home satisfied that they had their turn earlier.

So the OP's child should have given up his FIRST go on the swing so another child could have ANOTHER go?

If I was the other child's mother, I would have said, 'No - you've already had a go on that swing and that little boy has just got on. And if you are going to be sulky and petulant about it, we will be going home right now!'

Yes it was a bit mean, you set a bad example to your DS he won't keep his sharing nature with your sort of attitude.
You may just have arrived but you were planning to stay 15 minutes and the little girl only had a few minutes left, a truly generous person would have allowed her the swing.

I'd not allow one of my kids to stand there scowling at another child having their legitimate turn like that. What a pair of fannies they were to let her.

My kids are all good at sharing, but ffs they don't have to be doormats!

Nice to know there's a few other meanies out there too!

I'm not too worried about ds turning into a spoilt brat, he looked all worried and concerned while the girl stood scowling at him. I think his nature is just that rather than my parenting he was a softy at nursery at 2 years old.

I didn't realise the scowler had already a turn, in that case OP was correct

Nice of them to stand there like a pair of lemons while she spoiled his turn. What wonderful manners she's going to have.

YANBU. She sounds like a little madam.

My DCs wouldn't have been allowed to scowl as she did, no. And what if the parents didn't actually need to get going, they were just bored with being in the park? Once their Dd had got on back on the swing they might have been prepared to twiddle their thumbs for another 15 minutes (or not prepared to lift their DD out in case she started having a tantrum) so OP and her DS then dependant on their decision.

or you could see it as the OP backing up the parents of the little princess who had told her it was time to go, and then stood around whilst she ignored them.

YWNBU

I wouldn't have let her have a go. If her parents are too wet to tell her that they had said they were going home now, and just stand there like wet blankets then tough.

It's not mean to let your child have a turn on something, but it would be mean to prevent them from having their turn.

Someone else's child is not more important just because they're someone else's.

I wouldn't want to show my child that another child got what they wanted by sulking.

YANBU. She had already had a turn and seems to just want what others have.

I wouldn't have made my DS get off if he'd just got on.

Yadnbu, she had the whole park to herself before you arrived so could have had who knows how long playing on the swing. Standing there with a grumpy face would have annoyed me.

How do you know she hadn't been on it for half an hour before you got there? She probably only wanted to go on it again because your ds had got on it.

Don't worry about it.

YANBU. Bet she wouldn't have wanted it if he wasn't on there.

Are you really asking whether you should have given in to some other child's sulky tantrum?! - no way were you being unreasonable; if this is how she thinks she gets her own way, you taught her a valuable lesson by not asking your son to get off the swing for her.

(And, if you had asked him, what message might he have received about how to get his own way in the future?).