Mean to not have asked him to get off? At the park

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Took ds to the park, it was on the way back from somewhere and getting dark so was only spending 15 minutes there at the most.

The park had completely emptied apart from one little girl. It's a big park, lots to do. Ds headed straight for a single swing, there are other swings but this one is a bit different.

The little girls parents called her to go home all within 60 seconds of us arriving. The little girl started crying that she wanted to go on the swing again before she went and stood by the swing ds was on. She stood there all arms crossed and grumpy faced waiting for him to get off.

For a second I thought I might ask him to let her have a go but thought better of it as she had the whole park to choose from.

Her parents stood there for 2-3 minutes before calling her away.

Ds is the most sharing child you could meet really he's always the one standing at the bottom of the slide letting all the other kids go first, he's always very patiently waiting for toddlers to decide if they want to go down the slide and stopping bigger kids from bashing into them so I thought sod it he's having his turn.

I would have taken him off the swing, then later when he was absorbed in playing on the slide i would have announced we had to leave, thirty seconds after a new child got on the slide. Then I would have observed him having a tantrum at the new child because he wanted on the swing for a few minutes before calling him away.

Rinse and repeat.

Seriously OP I wouldn't worry about it. I try to be gracious in the park but DD1 has ASD/ADHD and throws a massive fit if asked to share (doesn't stop me asking, but I look like an AWFUL parent to anyone witnessing her reaction) and DD2 is ridiculously generous to the point that she'll end up not having a go on anything if I don't make sure she gets a fair go. And the other one is 2 so that never goes well either. People who are leaving the park genuinely in a stew about the interactions between small children need to get out more.

Well OP I don't thimk you did anything wrong.

But depressing to read all these people being a bit gleeful about getting one over on a wee girl who was prob 3 or 4 and was just upset about not getting on the swing.

Kitchentable you are right.

Argh because he wanted on the swing! Bums. Hopefully it made sense anyway.

Clearly your conscience is bothering you. So you know you were mean.

It seemed a very little thing to do so I would have done the kind thing and felt good about it.

Kindness is in short supply in this society.

OMG.

YANBU.

Why do people think you need to make room for others all the freakin' time?!?

YWNBU. I imagine she only wanted to go on that particular swing because she'd seen your son on it. Does her no harm to learn that other people get their turn and she has to wait for hers to come along.

"Why do people think you need to make room for others all the freaking time"

Yes. Fuck everyone else as long as you're OK. A great way to live.

I don't think you did anything wrong.

Because it gives you the option of being all PA and uber virtuous, perhaps?

"See, I ruined my child's play time to make yours happy. I AM A GOOD MUM!!"

I really don't understand why making your own child endlessly apologetic for existing is a good thing. And yes, by stopping them from doing something simply because someone else might want to do it to is damaging to their self-esteem!

YANBU - I'd have done exactly the same but I would have told the girl that she could have it in a little while after your DS has finished his turn.

I don't think its the least bit mean.

Hanjo I wouldn't be in slightest bit interested in teaching her a lesson. I wouldn't be interested in her at all. Her own parents were there to deal with her, while we got on with having a legitimate turn on the play equipment.
If they wanted to hang about until my child's turn was over, then they are free to do so. I don't care either way.

Another laughable AIBU thread. Of course YWNBU. I've started posting in chat rather than here lately as there are too many people just out to prove YWBU at all costs...

YY Pictish.

Yanbu at all! And not mean in the slightest.

It would do her nor your ds any favours to show that having a strop gets you what you want. And her parents should never of allowed her to stand there expectantly, I suspect that the arms folded routine normally works for her.

I let my children get upset all the time in order I teach them a lesson about what they can and cannot demand.

Where I come from, it's called parenting.......

Saucy well good for you. But OP wasn't that wee girls parent.

Presumably she'd already had a turn. Your ds hadn't.

YANBU.

Sorry? Who said anything about sharing?

That has to be one of the most ridiculously assuming posts I have read here for a while, zzzzz.

WOWZER, indeed!

It doesn't ruin my child's playtime to give someone else a shot on a swing. Or damage her self esteem. She just waits and gets back on once the other child has had a turn.

Anyway Newrule has it.

YANBU. Some kid has a hissy fit because they can't get on the swing they want and the other kid is expected to give in to them. Don't think so.

But its not just letting someone have a shot is it.

shed been told to leave so was directly disobeying and ignoring her parents AND stropping by the swing rather than waiting nicely for a turn. that's not sharing that's letting your kid be a pushover and showing that bad behaviour gets rewarded and priority goes to that kid rather than one fairly taking his or her turn having only just got on.

Ye gods! So... how many different versions of the OPs scenario will be given to prove she was wrong and I have made a daft statement?

To do as some people are espousing, ie to remove your child from an activity if another child shows interest, is ludicrous. The message you are giving your child is that they are always second best, not worthy.

That is not about sharing. Sharing involves 2 people (kids in this instance) coming to a compromise between themselves, guided by adults yes, but not one of them having a decision foisted upon them, especially if that decision is always that they must move, in order to be polite.