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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Ive cancelled the sleepover, the mum has ignored that and posted all over fb about how shes glad her child is on a sleepover tonight.

224 replies

vintagecrap · 15/02/2015 10:56

AIBU to be cross?

im ill. ive been ill for the last 3 days and have an appt in out of hours in an hour.
Im a lone parent, house is a mess, no food in, cant hardly make it off the sofa.

DD was meant to be having a friend over tonight nad we were looking after her tomorrow. I called the mum and said yesterday that i might have to cancel, and this morning i have cancelled. She hasnt replied to my text at all.

But instead posted on fb about how shes childfree tonight and whats shes doing.

WTF?

OP posts:
Catsize · 15/02/2015 11:14

Oh, and obviously, when this other person has it, you arrange a sleepover at her place.

Icimoi · 15/02/2015 11:14

Why on earth have you agreed to take her child? What's the point in saying she "needs to be good", what are you going to be able to do about it if she isn't? Just text her back and say you've had a major relapse, no, you can't have her child, how about her having yours?

youarekiddingme · 15/02/2015 11:15

She's right royally taken the piss - and you've just let her Shock

KirstyJC · 15/02/2015 11:15

WTF?!?!? You are still taking the child? Are you crazy? You are unwell, tell her to get a babysitter.

She won't make it only 4 hours - anyone who can be as rude and thoughtless as she is by insisting is someone who will be out all night.

Text her back, tell her you are NOT taking her. And then ask the OOH for a spine while you are there. Jeez.....

MissMogwi · 15/02/2015 11:16

What?! You're obviously really poorly and she still expects you to look after her DD?

She's taking the piss. And I say that as someone who was a lone parent for a long time and rarely got a night off!

Passmethecrisps · 15/02/2015 11:16

What do you mean seriously? Have you ever had actual laryngitis? Actual no noise. At all. Not even a whisper.

And op you really need to be firmer here. It is very unfair on you

expatinscotland · 15/02/2015 11:16

Jesus wept! Why? Get your daughter to RING. Mum's just back from doctor, you cannot come. 4 hours, my arse.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 15/02/2015 11:17

Let's hope you don't update later to say she hasn't come to get the child and you end up having to have her sleep over anyway.

This woman has walked all over you. She's basically said you ARE having my child and I don't care that you are ill and you cancelling means nothing to me. Aren't you even a bit mad?

waithorse · 15/02/2015 11:17

Marking my place for when she doesn't collect her child tonight.

This was not a compromise. She is a cheeky bitch. Hmm

Original poster
vintagecrap · 15/02/2015 11:17

I cant talk or croak. there is no sound coming out. there hasnt been for the last 3 days.
Its just squeeks.
Which is one of the reasons im going to out of hours ( and the phone call for which was pointless as they couldnt hear me or make out anything i was trying to say)

and seriously, i dumped him a week or so after that, so, its working out just fine, thank you very much. do you mean to be so rude?

she said she has paid tickets and noone to have her. shes having my dd now to give me all day to rest.

OP posts:
FindoGask · 15/02/2015 11:18

You need to put on your big girl pants and tell this woman you're not hosting a sleepover tonight, other plans or no. You are ILL. Can you not see how ridiculous this is?

Tinkerball · 15/02/2015 11:19

Why on gods Earth would you take someone else's child if you are ill?!!

Original poster
vintagecrap · 15/02/2015 11:19

Im now going, so i can always say that when i get back from the doctors.
i think i will do.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2015 11:20

You have been undermined and given in to her soft soaping you.

Why are you having her child tomorrow?

Passmethecrisps · 15/02/2015 11:20

Well, if you are happy with this then all is fine then.

Did she just not get your text?

ILovePud · 15/02/2015 11:28

Bloody Hell, I read your first post and though "Oh she must just not have seen the text, nobody could be that rude and unreasonable" but then read your update and apparently she is. The nerve of her, you're so ill you can't speak, you've cancelled the sleepover but she has still managed to pressure you into having her DD over so she can go out! I would get back to her and say no you're not up to it, if she has so little empathy that she doesn't care about palming her DD off on you for 'a few hours' when your ill I wouldn't have any confidence that she'll be back on time. Hope you're felling better soon. Brew

MuttersDarkly · 15/02/2015 11:30

Why on gods Earth would you take someone else's child if you are ill?!!

If I were the sort of person to badger somebody into doing something I wanted them to do, despite them not wanting to... I'd pick a sick person to badger.

They don't have the energy to keep saying no.

Which is likely the answer to the why,

OP, right now normal operations are suspended. You are sicker than I am, and I have precious few reserves to deal with pushy people. Which is why DH and DS are manning the phone. Telling people who want homework done for them and freebie 19 page translations for medical journals a big fat NO on my behalf.

Do you have a mate, family member who can be a "people who are taking the piss" bouncer for you ?

takng your kid today is no compensation for requiring a voiceless, unwell you to take hers so she can go out. Going out can be postponed, being ill... not so much.

LIZS · 15/02/2015 11:32

It's like Olivia and Fern all over again.

PastPerfect · 15/02/2015 11:36

You know this child is not going to be picked up after 4 hours right?!

Tinkerball · 15/02/2015 11:37

I can barely look after my own children when ill, never mind someone else's, I would always find the energy to say the word no!

Seriouslyffs · 15/02/2015 11:38

It is. Poster can't be assertive so gets lots of affirmation and drama from mumsnet which distracts her from standing up for herself and child.
Hmm

Tinkerball · 15/02/2015 11:39

And OP if something happened to her DD whilst you are ill and unable to watch her properly I get the feeling this Mum would go through you like a ton of bricks!

Original poster
vintagecrap · 15/02/2015 11:40

I can be assertive. I bloody told her twice I was going to cancel..

Most normal people would say " ok"

I'm at the hospital now so will just have to reiterate ot when I get out.

And sod off being so rude. There is no need.

OP posts:
SallySolomon · 15/02/2015 11:42

Are you insane?! Just. Say. NO!

Seriouslyffs · 15/02/2015 11:44

Take the crossness you feel towards me and direct it to the other girls mum.