Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?

316 replies

DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 21:45

Got DH a lovely card and a Valentine cookie which I placed on his nightstand to be there for him when he wakes up today. He didn't get me anything saying that he has been unwell all week and staying at home with DC which have also been sick. I was understanding of course but said that would still be lovely to have flowers today. Brought son from football at 5 pm - no flowers.

By then I got sick of posts on all the social networks showing pix of cards and gifts other wives have got today - so pretty much burst in tears. That's when DH gave me a card which he signed with really lovely words. Seeing how upset I was he went out and got me those bloody flowershich were no good by that point.

After that he hasn't been taking to me and when I tried to make peace he began shouting that he had a temperature and it was unfair to make him go out (the temperature was 37,3, the shop is 2 min away and he drove). I would say not a big sacrifice for a wife but he clearly thought I was being unreasonable. Then I asked when did he buy the card (it occurred to me that if beforehand then why didn't I get it in the morning? If today then why didn't he get the flowers?) He barked that it was none of my business.

All in all, I have a really lovely loving card, a bunch of my favorite flowers and a shitty mood coupled with a row with DH. Nice Valentines for me.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
flora717 · 14/02/2015 21:47

Yes. The day means fuck all about romance if you're going to sulk until you get something worthy of posting on social media. Biscuit

LadyintheRadiator · 14/02/2015 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TickleMyTitsTillFriday · 14/02/2015 21:49

YABU. Turn off Facebook and don't worry about it. You had a heartfelt card and that would be good enough for me. All the pics on Facebook made me feel a bit sick. So fucking smug!

CoupdeFoudre · 14/02/2015 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 14/02/2015 21:49

wtf. he's ill.
get over yourself

MelanieCheeks · 14/02/2015 21:49

I think you're being unreasonable. Not everyone gets flowers ( I didnt, even though dh has done in previous years). It's not the law, and he had extenuating circumstances. A heartfelt card which is genuine means much more.

Ticktockwedontstop · 14/02/2015 21:49

Grow up.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 14/02/2015 21:50

He was probably pissed off he only had a biscuit to show off on facebook...

YABU

trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 21:50

He sounds like a nob. Even if he was ill all week, he can ring and order flowers to be delivered. However whinging about it on the day is too late. what did he do last year? If he has form for this surely you would know, if not, maybe he is just really ill.... Basically it's up to you to allow yousrelf to be treated this way. My dp wouldn't dream of being such a twat. If he did stuff like that (hurt my feelings in whatever way) I wouldn't want to be with him. I value myself and am not a martyr. HTH

Romeyroo · 14/02/2015 21:50

Confused not getting this; he has been unwell and looking after DC; flowers are nice, yes, but what is the point of forcing someone out the door to buy them for you?

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 21:50

I was not going to post anything social media. I just saw that other couples in similar circumstances are celebrating and really wanted to have it too.

OP posts:
Mrsstarlord · 14/02/2015 21:51

YWBVU

Doesn't sound like you deserve a present behaving like that TBH

CurlyWurlyCake · 14/02/2015 21:51

Yes yabu.

listsandbudgets · 14/02/2015 21:51

YABU.

I've been with DP 15 years and he occassionally gets a card for me but usually we just don't bother.

Why have one special day to show you love someone - love them a little bit more every day having believed the previous day that nothing could make them love you more. That's worth far more than flowers.

bionic77 · 14/02/2015 21:51

Sorry YABU - surely it is an empty sentiment if you ask for it. I'd much rather have a gift that was given as the person wanted to rather than one because they were told.

Who cares what his actual temperature was if he felt unwell. Go make him a cup of tea and say sorry for being a Valentine grouch Smile

listsandbudgets · 14/02/2015 21:52

sorry nothing could make you love them more

lilyloo · 14/02/2015 21:53

I have been looking after ill dc since Wednesday. I didn't get dp anything , if you have been stuck in the house there is little you can do. Your dh has been ill to , give him a break !

trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 21:53

Hang on, I missed the bit about the card. Actually, you sound like an entitled idiot. If you felt flowers were so bloody important, tell him before hand.

SecretNutellaFix · 14/02/2015 21:53

It's disappointing, but not to the extent that you row about it.

I didn't get my card from DH until I got in from work. He was honest with me and I knew he hadn't had a chance to go shopping. You know what? In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. I cooked his favourite steak dinner tonight and we're going out tomorrow for breakfast- he's paying, and have appreciated each others company this evening, had a cuddle, a giggle like we did early on in our relationship.

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 21:53

Excuse me but a temperature of 37,3 is not life threatening. I walked under the rain yesterday in my lunch break to make sure I have the card and gift for him ready for the 14th.

He knows full well that this is important to me. And he very rarely gives me flowers as is. And I would definitely do something of the kind for him even if I was feeling unwell.

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 14/02/2015 21:54

So he is ill on 1 day so no flowers..
What about the other 364 days, any romantic gestures then?

Wolfiefan · 14/02/2015 21:55

We both got each other a card. Had a cuddle and a kiss.
No flowers. I'd rather have affection and the lovely lie in I got too!!!!

trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 21:55
pinkr · 14/02/2015 21:55

Are you twelve? !
Your poor dh doesn't deserve you that's for sure. You know valentine's is a piece of over commercialised tat and you've fell for it hook,line and sinker.

I hope you take a good look at yourself and what you have to be grateful for Biscuit

bloodyteenagers · 14/02/2015 21:55

Romance doesn't just involve flowers.