Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?

316 replies

DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 21:45

Got DH a lovely card and a Valentine cookie which I placed on his nightstand to be there for him when he wakes up today. He didn't get me anything saying that he has been unwell all week and staying at home with DC which have also been sick. I was understanding of course but said that would still be lovely to have flowers today. Brought son from football at 5 pm - no flowers.

By then I got sick of posts on all the social networks showing pix of cards and gifts other wives have got today - so pretty much burst in tears. That's when DH gave me a card which he signed with really lovely words. Seeing how upset I was he went out and got me those bloody flowershich were no good by that point.

After that he hasn't been taking to me and when I tried to make peace he began shouting that he had a temperature and it was unfair to make him go out (the temperature was 37,3, the shop is 2 min away and he drove). I would say not a big sacrifice for a wife but he clearly thought I was being unreasonable. Then I asked when did he buy the card (it occurred to me that if beforehand then why didn't I get it in the morning? If today then why didn't he get the flowers?) He barked that it was none of my business.

All in all, I have a really lovely loving card, a bunch of my favorite flowers and a shitty mood coupled with a row with DH. Nice Valentines for me.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:28
Lweji · 14/02/2015 22:28

and you are still being unreasonable.

It's flowers, not life saving medicine.

Excitedforxmas · 14/02/2015 22:28

I got packet of love heart sweets! Means more to me than overpriced flowers !

Only1scoop · 14/02/2015 22:29

'I mentioned a couple of times before today and in the morning I would love to get them' Confused

Oh please I'm cringing for you.

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:30

Flip chart, because DH never buys them for me or does anything else what couples do. I don't remember when we last went out together. He never buys me birthday presents, not even a small thing saying instead that I can buy something for myself from our household account.

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:31

I didn't get flowers either.... But I did get these...

No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?
lemisscared · 14/02/2015 22:32

i went to sainsbury tonight. there were ok bunches of flowers £40 ShockHmm last week they would have cost a fiver. they die after a few weeks. they are REALLY not a big deal. we haven't done cards this year . we have had some rough years. this year has bern good. there was no need for cards and flowers. we are good.

he did get me a cheese plant thoughbut only because i was wanting on from b&q the other day. £6 and ill have it for years.

i like flowers but only ever buy them on a tuesday from tesco when they have 90% reduction.

has anyone passed you a grip yet? have mine and go and apologise to your dh. still time for some valentines snuggles

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:32

Excited I would love to get a pack of love sweets! Anything from him would do. The point is, he doesn't do that at all.

OP posts:
TheCuttySnark · 14/02/2015 22:33

"Or does anything else what couples do".

Do you compare your marriage to everyone else's on Facebook or something? What stuff is it that other couples do that he doesn't?

beavington · 14/02/2015 22:33

Whats your dp up to there trashcan? Grin

stiffstink · 14/02/2015 22:33

I am boggled. Flowers are a shit present, its basically a vase of rotting plant matter. Buy your own flowers if its so important to you.

He is ill and has looked after the kids for 3 days and you are crying. You need to apologise to him.

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:33

Queen, me too of course. But why can't there be both?

OP posts:
Spartak · 14/02/2015 22:34

I've read the thread trying to think of an appropriately sympathetic response, but I can't come up with anything.

Grow up
Get a grip
Count your blessings

TwinkieTwinkle · 14/02/2015 22:35

Your post has gone from spoiled princess to hard done by, trodden down woman, never even given a gift. Surely that would have been better mentioned before now? Personally, it sounds like you are trying to backtrack and regain some sympathy. What I don't get is why you would want flowers you had to cry and pester to get?!

SmokingGun · 14/02/2015 22:35

lemiss What is a cheese plant??

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:35

Cutty we don't do anything as a couple, ever.

And Facebook has nothing to do with it so I wish people would stop bringing that up.

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:36

He's painting minituares beavington Grin he likes to do geeky stuff to balance out his skinhead tattooed scary look....

Fairenuff · 14/02/2015 22:36

Why are you with him if he is so crap OP?

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:37

Twinkle, I didn't beg and pester - it ruins the point. I mentioned a few days before about flowers on Sat and then on the day I got upset when they didn't come and that's when DH went out to get them.

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:37

This is tonight's work

No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?
ilovesooty · 14/02/2015 22:38

You brought Facebook up in the first place!

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:38

Twinkle, I don't need sympathy from strangers online.

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:39

Oh god, I hope you sort it out with him op, I really do. Good relationships aren't due to luck, it's about mutual respect and it sounds sorely lacking in yours.

lemisscared · 14/02/2015 22:40

smoking gun this is a cheese plant.

DinosaursStillExist · 14/02/2015 22:40

OP I can only assume this is a joke. Surely no-one in RL actually holds any significance to Valentine's day after departing their teens?
DP and I are young (25 & 33) and very much in love, we have DS and so so many real ways to show each other we care throughout the other 364 days too. Who needs commercialism to show love to each other? Is social media really the measure someone would use for that? Ouch.

Swipe left for the next trending thread