Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?

316 replies

DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 21:45

Got DH a lovely card and a Valentine cookie which I placed on his nightstand to be there for him when he wakes up today. He didn't get me anything saying that he has been unwell all week and staying at home with DC which have also been sick. I was understanding of course but said that would still be lovely to have flowers today. Brought son from football at 5 pm - no flowers.

By then I got sick of posts on all the social networks showing pix of cards and gifts other wives have got today - so pretty much burst in tears. That's when DH gave me a card which he signed with really lovely words. Seeing how upset I was he went out and got me those bloody flowershich were no good by that point.

After that he hasn't been taking to me and when I tried to make peace he began shouting that he had a temperature and it was unfair to make him go out (the temperature was 37,3, the shop is 2 min away and he drove). I would say not a big sacrifice for a wife but he clearly thought I was being unreasonable. Then I asked when did he buy the card (it occurred to me that if beforehand then why didn't I get it in the morning? If today then why didn't he get the flowers?) He barked that it was none of my business.

All in all, I have a really lovely loving card, a bunch of my favorite flowers and a shitty mood coupled with a row with DH. Nice Valentines for me.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
Redglitter · 14/02/2015 22:40

FB keeps getting mentioned because in your post you said you were fed up seeing all the posts on it about what people had got and ended up crying. Hmm

TheCuttySnark · 14/02/2015 22:41

If you don't need sympathy, what is with the repeated stressing of how your nasty piece of work of a husband does nothing for you (apart from look after his sick children for 3 days whilst being unwell himself)?

thoughtsbecomethings · 14/02/2015 22:41

Sorry but you really need to get over it, you sound like a school girl

buttercupbear · 14/02/2015 22:41

I am going to show this thread to my dh whenever he thinks I'm being unreasonable so he realises what sort of woman he could have to deal with. Batshit, seriously.

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:42

Ilove, I mentioned social networks in the context that other husbands don't appear to have a problem with celebrating today and it upset me that my husband felt differently.

OP posts:
Mrsstarlord · 14/02/2015 22:43

By then I got sick of posts on all the social networks showing pix of cards and gifts other wives have got today - so pretty much burst in tears. That's when DH gave me a card which he signed with really lovely words. Seeing how upset I was he went out and got me those bloody flowershich were no good by that point.

Facebook, peffing to get your own way - straight from the OP

ouryve · 14/02/2015 22:43

You were being extremely unreasonable and brattish.

How would you feel if the tables were turned, you'd been looking after poorly kids all week and you'd caught it felt like crap yourself, but your DH threw a tantrum because you hadn't dragged yourself out shopping for some crappy flowers that'll be dead in less than a week?

RingtheBells · 14/02/2015 22:43

I like flowers but we don't bother with Valentines, they are overpriced. I will buy some reduced ones though if I see some in the week. Waitrose sometimes have some bargainous ones and there were loads in there today. Just buy some yourself

McFox · 14/02/2015 22:44

Get a grip. Are you 14?!

beavington · 14/02/2015 22:44

Yes it must definitely counteract it trash he looks anything but scary there, although the tweezers made me think stamp collecting for a second so not so geeky afterall!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 14/02/2015 22:44

I love flowers too. Which is why I bought myself some beautiful freesias on Thursday.

I get flowers once a year - on mothers day from my DCs. DH never buys me flowers. We don't give each other anything for Valentine's day either - we passed the stage of "I Wuv U" teddies 20 years ago.

You are being a precious princess.

Fairenuff · 14/02/2015 22:45

Why don't you ever buy flowers OP?

Redglitter · 14/02/2015 22:45

Why not try and salvage what's left of the night and get off here and go talk to him Smile

As I said my ex was big on giving flowers and gifts. He was also seeing several other people. Giving flowers etc isn't an indication of a good relationship. His gifts were lovely but he was a bastard. I'd rather have someone who was genuine and loved me and bought me nothing

SmokingGun · 14/02/2015 22:45

Lemiss Oh that's not what I was expecting Blush

trashcanjunkie · 14/02/2015 22:46

butterbear my dp is pissing himself at this thread....

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:46

Ok, I understand that this is commercialised etc, but I need all this. Or a part of it. I don't see why is it so hard for my husband to just do that for me - and are millions of people who actually buy this 'crap' and celebrate the holiday - immature, shallow, not-seeing-the-big picture?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 14/02/2015 22:46

And you have no idea whether these apparently lovely husbands on social media are all decent types who pull their weight and take turns at looking after sick children as your husband has done.

TwinkieTwinkle · 14/02/2015 22:47

You ended up crying about not getting flowers after previously mentioning you really wanted flowers. He was ill but ended up going to get them. Sounds a bit like pestering to me. Also, definitely not worth complaining about when you bought him a sodding cookie. Not like you bought him a £60 bottle of aftershave. Ever heard the saying 'pick your battles'? Invoke it now.

Rainicorn · 14/02/2015 22:48

Well done Op, you got a bunch of flowers from your DH after you threw a tantrum. How lucky you must feel Hmm

Do you always go in a huff to get your own way?

ilovesooty · 14/02/2015 22:48

You don't "need" it. You want it.

Fairenuff · 14/02/2015 22:48

If you need it, why did you marry a man who doesn't share that view?

And if he is such a crap husband, why are you staying with him?

ilovesooty · 14/02/2015 22:49

"Celebrate the holiday"?
Since when was it a holiday?

McFox · 14/02/2015 22:50

You don't need it. You want it and are prepared to act like a child to get your own way.

Only1scoop · 14/02/2015 22:50

If you 'need' a crappy bunch of flowers finally bought under sufferance after several reminders.

Then I actually pity you.

Original poster
DieHardWithVengeance · 14/02/2015 22:51

Twinkle! It was not about the price. I would have been over the moon if he had gotten me a .99 p pack of chocolate hearts. It is the thought that counts.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread