No flowers today from DH of 14 years - Aibu to be upset?

[DieHardWithVengeance]

Got DH a lovely card and a Valentine cookie which I placed on his nightstand to be there for him when he wakes up today. He didn't get me anything saying that he has been unwell all week and staying at home with DC which have also been sick. I was understanding of course but said that would still be lovely to have flowers today. Brought son from football at 5 pm - no flowers.

By then I got sick of posts on all the social networks showing pix of cards and gifts other wives have got today - so pretty much burst in tears. That's when DH gave me a card which he signed with really lovely words. Seeing how upset I was he went out and got me those bloody flowershich were no good by that point.

After that he hasn't been taking to me and when I tried to make peace he began shouting that he had a temperature and it was unfair to make him go out (the temperature was 37,3, the shop is 2 min away and he drove). I would say not a big sacrifice for a wife but he clearly thought I was being unreasonable. Then I asked when did he buy the card (it occurred to me that if beforehand then why didn't I get it in the morning? If today then why didn't he get the flowers?) He barked that it was none of my business.

All in all, I have a really lovely loving card, a bunch of my favorite flowers and a shitty mood coupled with a row with DH. Nice Valentines for me.

Was I BU?

it obviously means a lot to you, but yabu. he's ill and should rest.

Trash, I did tell him that the flowers were 'bloody important' a few times in the run up. And in the morning today when it appeared that he didn't have anything for me at all.

Entitled idiot - nice.

It really depends on what you normally do for Valentines. Does he usually buy flowers? If so, then it was not unreasonable for you to expect them.
Do you just exchange cards? If so then maybe you were being a bit unreasonable.
I'm sure a lot of people who got flowers would rather have received a card with a sincere and heartfelt message.

Op are you twelve? Grow up ffs

Ah, well best LTB......

X post pink

If they are so 'bloody important' why don't you buy your own with his bank card?

We've been married 25 years.

Some years I've had beautiful flowers
Some years I've been taken out
Some years I've had a card.
Some years I've had all three.
Some years I've had nothing.

The point is, you shouldn't need a card or present to know if your DH loves you. It's how he is the rest if the to year which is important.

1 - don't compare yourself to other people

2 - you got a card with lovely words and a DH who stayed at home with the children all week. He may have had a low fever, but he may still have felt like shit.

3 - he may well have got the card weeks ago. They don't spoil, unlike flowers.

4 - it's shit having to live up to expectations in one day. If he's a good husband otherwise, let it go.

YABU
Sorry.

Bloodyteenagers, no, no romantic gestures from him at all. Valentines and my birthday are my only chance to have flowers from him.

My OH went away at 5am this morning to go hillwalking on his own and is staying away overnight. No card, no flowers, no him. Couldn't give a toss tbh as I didn't get him anything either. Just because Hallmark decide its a great moneyspinner to have Valentines day doesn't mean that we all need to buy into it. neither of us is very romantic - i'm not saying I wouldn't appreciate flowers etc from time to time but it doesn't need to be today.

I've had a lovely day with my boys, leisurely morning, bit of housework, a takeaway and a movie on the sofa and now chilling with a glass of cider. I have just realised I haven't heard from him so hoping that I don't need to call out mountain rescue but I am just presuming that he has no signal out in the sticks - if he doesn't come home in time for the Rugby tomorrow I'll start getting worried.

Gota be a joke one as no one can be that nasty to send ill dh out to get flowers just because something seen on fb. Yes to food or medicine if none in house and everyone ill but flowers... Am i right? If im not right yabu. Hope your dc and dh get well soon x

Why are flowers so bloody important?

Explain.

What?
Really?

I got a 99p card for DH. He splashed out on a £1.50 card for me. We stuck the price stickers in the cards and had a laugh,

After 13 years together who gives a crap about valentines. I've been ill and in and out of hospital for the past 3 years. DH has stuck by me all this time despite all of the hardship it's caused.

Stop kvetching about some fucking flowers.

You were unreasonable to sulk until you got the flowers but you were not unreasonable to feel let down. Yes yes it is all commercial crap, but let's face it, when else would you get flowers and feel a bit special if it wasn't for peer pressure?
Next year don't bother with a cookie; or buy one and eat it!

I got a new microwave for Valentines. I was well pleased

I wouldn't be speaking to you either if you'd behaved like that. Demanding flowers then behaving like a 6 year old when you don't get them really defeats the purpose. Who'd want flowers from some poor soul who was pressurised into buying them.

Here have these

Can you explain why flowers are 'bloody important'? I just don't understand your mindset being as it is so diametrically opposed to my own. It's my 25th year of being married this year and not once has either of us bought into the whole Valentine's-commerical-bullshit-show-off-on-Facebook bollocks. Not once. But - we have unconditionally supported one another over all these years and still enjoy being together. Better than any stupid bunch of flowers and a bad atmosphere caused by ridiculous over-entitlement.

Creature, yes, he usually gives me flowers on Valentines.

I hear everything you are saying but bloody hell if he had told me that he would like this or that I would have gotten it for him - simply because it is important for him.

It's like he begrudges me romantic gestures in general whereas I do need them.

For the record, exH was good on the flower front, chocolates, emotional cards.

The last time he went the whole thing was a week after he had pinned me down on the floor by the back of my neck. 5 years ago.

It puts things in perspective.

OMG

Diddums

We've been together 35 years and in all that time neither of us has ever got the other a card or present. Fortunately we are both of one mind on this. If one of us wanted to make a big deal of it and the other didn't I suppose it would have been a problem.

Really, though, marriage is not about cards and flowers. It's about what happens between a couple day in day out, year after year after year. If that's working OK, a card/present missed one year is a very trivial thing.