To feel pissed off that that I am also grounded?!

[nottonightjoesphine]

My DD 7 had a meltdown last night over wanting more tv than agreed. She ended jo having to be manhandled to bed (think hanging onto door frames, walls - you name it.)
She isn't usually like that but she can be very cheeky and is answering back a lot recently. She spent a good 30 monitors at the top of the stairs screaming her lungs out after that.

I decided to ground her today. I have never done this before and regret it already. We are very outdoorsy and like to be on the go all the time. The sun is shining and I resent so much having to sit in all day to make a point to her! My mum tells me I'm not consistent enough so perhaps she's right. DD has apologised and is crying so much today. I feel terrible.

I am a single parent and work all week so am desperate to get out. It's not about me though is it?

WWYD?

Stay in.

I learnt that lesson the hard way too! Never issue a punishment that does you over too! No more groundings issued here!!

Afraid you have to suck it up this time

I'd stick to the punishment. My parents never did with my younger sister and now she does whatever she likes. Only pick punishments that you're prepared to follow through with.

Nooooooooo

Was hoping someone would tell me to let her out, ha!

If you give in now she'll think all you need to do is cry and apologise and all will be well. She's got away lightly after that behaviour!

Well being grounded means not allowed to go and play out with your friends here. If she doesn't do that yet then maybe find another sanction.

Is their some truth in what your mother says? Are you consistent with what you say and action? It's confusing for younglings if you aren't.

Why did you choose that as a punishment!

I would let her swap her punishment for something else - something you will find useful, eg cleaning the bath and sink. Then you can both go out.

In future choose a punishment which benefits you!

Don 't give in ...or she will know exactly what to do to get her way next time......hopefully its a lesson learned!

I guess what I do is 'accept' her apologies and little love notes that she tends to leave in my room (Aww they just get me every time). She does always seem so sorry and is desperate for us to be 'friends' as she calls it. Always pleads for cuddles etc in the middle of a telling off or whatever. I guess I am inconsistent in that I will withdraw a punishment if she accepts and talks to me about why the behaviour was wrong.

I've also banned tv and technology for a week. She's upset about that as well.

Stay in. You must stay in.
Then it should never happen again.
If you go out, then it will happen again.

For me, the first rule of parenting is, always always follow through on threats.

She sounds manipulative. Do not under any circumstances cave in on this one this time or offer a negotiation or change of punishment.

Yes I think she is manipulative

No real advice, I'm afraid but I feel your pain. DS will be 7 next month and he's getting really mouthy with me. I'm on my own with him for the next month or so. Anyway. We had just started walking the dog Friday after school and he was going on and on and on and on about Minecraft. I teased him about something and he turned around and "hit" me. I say "hit" because while it was done in anger it was more like a tap. He's freaking out on the sidewalk. We wound up going back home so the dog was punished by not getting his walk, I was punished by cooking dinner instead of going out and DS was punished with no screen time. DS did apologize and was contrite but it didn't matter. The damage was done.

Is there any way she can "earn" some park/outdoor time? If she helps with chores? Does something she's usually not responsible for? Not sure what time it is there (I'm in Asia) but maybe if she earns it, you can both go out after lunch?

I had a chat with DS yesterday about how you speak to different people differently. How the way he speaks to his friends isn't necessarily the right way to speak to parents/teachers/etc. I have the feeling we're going to have that conversation many, many times....

Great idea banning the technology! It will work, just make sure you stick to it :)

Thanks for the advice. I am never again issuing a punishment that 'does me over' too! I work so hard all week....feel really fucking pissed off that she did this and really pissed off at myself! She's currently howling all over the house and it's annoying me so much. A relative of mine is in town for the weekend and just invited us for lunch. I can't go. I can't bloody go.

Sorry but it sounds like she has got you wrapped round her little finger good & proper.

Always pleads for cuddles etc in the middle of a telling off or whatever.

Yes of course she does because it makes you feel guilty and stops the telling off.

Your mum is right, you are inconsistent and last night was about reaping what you had sowed.

Oh dear. You run the risk of having a little girl that will grow up being an expert manipulator. Stick to your guns or you'll end up with a manipulative teenager.

If she's flopping round the house tantrumming then send her to her room. She only comes down when she calms down and behaves herself

Tell her to stop howling and go tidy her room and then run yourself a nice bath and relax. She's just going by past experiences and putting you under pressure so that you will give in. DON'T DO IT

Can you get someone to babysit while you go out with the relative? That way you are consistent with the punishment you have chosen and DD realises that she's nit in control of your life too?

Thanks all. Points taken. I will not break.

Would it be awful to get a babysitter so I can attend this lunch?

Can you at least be in the garden while she is outside?