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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To judge this?

192 replies

youlookbeautifultonight · 14/01/2015 20:56

A friend has just told me that last weekend her Dm took her then 12 day old baby to the coast for the weekend in a touring caravan without her. I know it is non of my business really but I am just a bit shocked that anyone would want there new baby away from them in a cold damp caravan in January, it must have been freezing ConfusedShock.

OP posts:
paxtecum · 14/01/2015 20:59

Caravans are not cold or damp. They are warm and cosy with heating.

Aherdofmims · 14/01/2015 21:02

I wouldn't judge it no. Many people live in caravans.

I might not want my 12 day old away from me but that it is neither Greer nor there.

Aherdofmims · 14/01/2015 21:02

Here not Greer.

zippyandbungle · 14/01/2015 21:03

My caravan was lovely and warm and not in the least bit damp.

noitsbecky · 14/01/2015 21:07

I wouldn't judge. YABU to.

Agree with pp. Caravans are not cold.

Sirzy · 14/01/2015 21:10

My parents took me camping in September when I was just a few months old.

Just because it isn't what you would do doesn't mean it's wrong or worthy of judgement

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/01/2015 21:13

Nothing wrong with a caravan, they have heating and all sorts these days Wink.

Are you trying to stealth judge your friend's decision to leave her 12 day old baby?

waithorse · 14/01/2015 21:15

I wouldn't judge the caravan, even in January. They can be warner than some houses. However I would judge a 12 day old being away from it's mother, and I wouldn't apologize for it.

waithorse · 14/01/2015 21:16

Though in saying that I wouldn't say anything, it would be none of my business. My judging would be private. Smile

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2015 21:16

Oh give over

How do you know it was 'cold and damp'?

calmexterior · 14/01/2015 21:21

No problem with the caravan but I think it's not great to leave your baby so young - I guess she he her reasons?
I haven't slept two hours in a row since I had my son six months ago and am bitterly envious of this friend

WD41 · 14/01/2015 21:24

Yanbu, I'd judge that too. 12 day old babies should be with their mothers, not off with relatives in caravans.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 14/01/2015 21:26

YABU to judge your friend, her DM and caravans.

formerbabe · 14/01/2015 21:26

I think I would raise an eyebrow at a 12 day old being apart from its mother. I have never been in a caravan so can't comment on that bit of the story!

PurpleSwift · 14/01/2015 21:28

Yabu. The caravan is fine.
As long as the baby is well looked after and everyone is happy, it's fine surely?

Maybe not something you would do personally but I'm not seeing the issue really

Mammanat222 · 14/01/2015 21:28

Is a touring caravan different from a static one (in terms of coldness and dampness?) If not then yep yabu about that.

However there is no way on earth I'd be letting my 12 day old go off with anyone for any period of time. I would judge silently though. ..... I am sure your friend had her reasons.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/01/2015 21:36

a 12 day old would be asleep for most the day. Wouldnt have remotely noticed who was taking care of them.

and caravans have heating. cold and damp is unlikely.

besides I'm. Sure the dm was capable of dressing accordingly.

yabu.

LetticeKnollys · 14/01/2015 21:37

I wouldn't care that it was a caravan, as pp said some people have to live in them 24/7.

I would think that it wasn't in the best interests of the baby to be away from its mother for so long at 12 days old.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/01/2015 21:39

Not really any different to a husband letting their wife catch up on sleep and rest after that exhausting process called child Birth.

If baby is sleeping mum won't be doing much with them anyway.

She's probably now well rested and able to devote 100 percent as opposed to exhausted mums who won't let anyone else near baby and barely scraping 20 percent through exhaustion.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2015 21:40

There may be many private reasons including PND for the grandparents giving the baby's parents a break.

Until anyone knows what those reasons are, it's simply not something to judge.

Particularly on a public internet forum.

Vvvoom · 14/01/2015 21:43

It's odd that people are saying the baby wouldn't know who is looking after it - it's well known that babies bond with their primary carer in the first days and weeks.

WineWineWine · 14/01/2015 21:45

YABU
No I wouldn't judge that at all. Your judgement is inaccurate and unfair, and you are right, it really is none of your business.

TeaAndALemonTart · 14/01/2015 21:45

Yeah, you really should mind your own business in this situation. You have no idea how warm or not the caravan was.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2015 21:45

It's 2 or 3 days maximum...

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/01/2015 21:47

And its well known primary carers can be all sorts of people fir all sorts of reasons. illness or recovery from surgery, hospital stays, etc

I doubt a weekend at 12 days will make a difference. babies are often passed around family fir coos and cuddles for the first few days too.

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