I just need some perspective

[babynamechange]

There's a huge backstory to this...but basically I'm asking the question so Im sure I'm not overreacting before I do anything...
To cut a very long story short I have had concerns about my DS having contact with his father due inappropriate touching and emotional abuse etc. DS is currently being seen by a SW about this. It has been a huge struggle to actually get someone to listen, but someone is now seeing him, although i don't know when he will be spoken to again.

DS has just come in to tell me he wants to tell me something but doesn't want to say it. Anyway he said his dad has been taking photos of him while he's on the toilet (he doesn't normally take photos generally). DS said he really didn't like this. I know he would have been really upset as he doesn't like anyone even in the vicinity when he's doing a poo. He's six.

I know or rather I think I must be asking the blatantly obvious, but is this in any world ok :( x

No my lovely it's not please call 101 now and I'm sorry sorry for your little man and you

Thank you
It's been a nightmare trying to get someone to listen and it's made me scared to report anything, but I'll report this to the SW tomorrow.. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting. I question everything these days trying to do the right thing x

Not ok. Never ok if a child is uncomfortable or distressed. NOT ok at all.

So sorry for you both but you need to keep your DS away from his dad unless supervised.

Definitely NOT overreacting.
No way this is okay.#
Safeguard asap.
#There is only one occasion I can think of taking a photo on the loo and that would be if celebrating WITH my toddler her first poo. Even then I am thinking...inappropriate.
Hugs to you xx

Oh no, you are as far from being unreasonable as you could possibly be! Don't let your son see this man, what an awful situation for you both, if a sw can not stop access immediately, can you involve the police, the pictures that have been taken should be seized and used as evidence to stop any form of access

Baby I would call the Police, dial 101 straight away, poor ds . What are authorities doing to help ds?

You are a fantastic mum baby, I know this contact is court ordered and the judge and Cafcass are arses supporting this. Please tell SW this, is ds more confident in speaking to police or SW himself?

The current SW is doing keep safe work with him so DS understands about inappropriate touching and is empowered to say no. I don't think the onus should be on DS to protect himself but I feel my hands are tied :(. I'll tell her tomorrow and hopefully she'll be able to do more

No no it shouldent that is unacceptable. He is a little boy against a powerful man, they should be protecting him.

go with your gut instinct. report it as your ds felt uncomfortable

Ok once he says no, than what? What if it continues, which it is doing. No they need to intervene to keep him safe.

It makes me so sad that it's put in the hands of a 6 year old to protect himself! The sw should do more, simple, he does not want to see his father, does not feel safe, if they can't stop the visits there must be someone above them you can talk to, I'd personally refuse to let my child go to the point where the father would have to take me to court, surely police should be involved re the photos, a sw wouldn't have the authority to seize such images

Thanks coffee. The SW is doing the best she can within the powers she has. It's already in the complaints process of how it has been dealt with up until her involvement.
I'll tell her tomorrow
So if she can't or won't do anything, would you then go to the police? X

Contact is court ordered coffee, if baby doesent comply there is the treat of reverse residency, she was on Mumsnet before and I remember her

Yes dial 101 police line baby

How quickly can courts act on info like this? God I feel for you op, don't know how I'd handle a situation like this!

Oh baby

I can't believe you're still going through this - how absolutely fucking awful

Definitely 101. This is not ok in any way, shape or form.

Was it a SW or some sort of link guardian or someone like that who was taking ex-h's side and being a malicious batshit cow? Is she out of the picture now? Please tell me that you've got people on side with you - the last post of yours I remember (long time ago) things were dragging on horribly.

Don't be a stranger - you'll always have support on MN, I promise x

Yes police baby, keep on them

Meant to say, go to the police regardless of what SW says - in fact you could log it tonight and contact SW in the morning. Think police should be used in addition not as an instead of - might have more clout that way.

I can't remember, how frequent is contact?

Every other weekend x

Foxache it was the guardian xx

Oh sweet Jesus

Baby this is just abhorrent. It's been going on now for, what - 18 months? 2 years?

Are you still in touch with your solicitor?

Why the actual fuck are they still saying it's beneficial for ds to ever have contact with this vile, abusive piece of scum?

I'm so for you. And heartbroken. And sad - all at once

Is the guardian still involved? X

This is one of the most saddest OPs that I have ever encountered of my nearly 8 years on Mumsnet . This situation displays the incompetencies of a system that should be designed to protect a child, not conceal and help child abuse

Well put Aeroflot. You're right - it looks like the entire fucking system is designed to ensure that contact is maintained

Baby what have the school said? Are you getting any support from anywhere? I'm praying that you are sweetheart x