Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just need some perspective

481 replies

babynamechange · 11/01/2015 23:25

There's a huge backstory to this...but basically I'm asking the question so Im sure I'm not overreacting before I do anything...
To cut a very long story short I have had concerns about my DS having contact with his father due inappropriate touching and emotional abuse etc. DS is currently being seen by a SW about this. It has been a huge struggle to actually get someone to listen, but someone is now seeing him, although i don't know when he will be spoken to again.

DS has just come in to tell me he wants to tell me something but doesn't want to say it. Anyway he said his dad has been taking photos of him while he's on the toilet (he doesn't normally take photos generally). DS said he really didn't like this. I know he would have been really upset as he doesn't like anyone even in the vicinity when he's doing a poo. He's six.

I know or rather I think I must be asking the blatantly obvious, but is this in any world ok :( x

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 09:53

I agree apprentice, baby does not need any perspective, she needs the agencies that should be protecting her ds, to to their bloody job and protect him!!!! In fact not only have they done nothing, but they have been encouraging contact, and sabourtaging attempts to protect this little boy, yes disgusting and vile G from Cafcass, I am looking straight at you!!!!!

BeyondDoesBootcamp · 12/01/2015 10:00

Oh baby :(
I was just thinking a few days ago that i hadnt seen an update from you for a while, so maybe it was all sorted now.

If he is taking pictures on his phone, they may still be there? If the police were to investigate, they could confiscate it to check it for evidence?

BeyondDoesBootcamp · 12/01/2015 10:04

And yy to what aero said, there may be other evidence of him viewing similar images.

How does it get to a point that the police arrest people (and confiscate computers etc) for viewing ICA? They must surely have a reason to want to confiscate first, where does that reason come from?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 11:13

Are you going to the police baby, please please do. This could be the tip of the iceberg, he could be taking other indecent images of ds that he is unaware of or videoing him. He could also be viewing indecent images of children online, or circulating pictures of ds online. This is a criminal matter the police have a duty to investigate.

MinceSpy · 12/01/2015 11:18

OP if you report your concerns to the SW and she won't or can't then you need to report this to the police. I hope SW is able to help you today.

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/01/2015 11:24

I'd go straight to the police with the full story and hope they take him by surprise and are able to get incriminating evidence before he's warned and deletes it.

heatseeker14 · 12/01/2015 11:31

I would go straight to the police before SS otherwise they may inadvertently tip him off. Don't wait any longer please do this now.

Hobby2014 · 12/01/2015 11:33

Not okay. I'd call 101 today.

PulpsNotFiction · 12/01/2015 11:59

I can't believe this vile piece of shit still has access to his DS. It's just.... I can't even find the word. That bloody guardian has such a lot to answer to, I hope they throw the book at her.

I did post on your previous threads a long time ago under a different NN. I am so sorry that this is still ongoing.

There is nothing wrong with your perspective, I hope you get the police involved because you can bet that there's plently of content on his computer they'd find and hopefully lock the bastard up.

Original poster
babynamechange · 12/01/2015 12:49

Thanks so much for all your messages. I've spoken to the SW and she's going to speak to DS tomorrow which is really good, and then take it from there. She won't be informing his dad of any of this...

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 12:51

Fantastic p, are you going to the Police as well, you should.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 12:53

It's looking positive, hopefully ds wIll open up to her. Police because God knows what other images he is taking of ds, and possibly circulating them. You need all the ammo yiu can fire with.

Original poster
babynamechange · 12/01/2015 12:56

No I can't bypass them. No one will do anything before someone talks to DS and it's best that it's her because he's far more likely to open up x

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 13:04

Ok at least someone is coming to talk to him, how are you?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 12/01/2015 13:05

The social worker will talk to the police. Is it a section 47 investigation?

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 13:05

Hhopefully the SW will treat this with the seriousness it deserves and act upon it to prevent further abuse.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 14:02

I hope it all goes well tomorrow, wishing you both the best of luck, I hope this finally comes to an end ASAP.

saturnvista · 12/01/2015 14:27

Have you thought of writing to your MP outlining the gist of all this? It can be surprisingly effective.

Ohfourfoxache · 12/01/2015 16:49

How are you bearing up Baby? X

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 16:57

That's a good idea Saturn, what have you to loose.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/01/2015 09:57

Hope all goes well today with the social worker,Baby Flowers

Andro · 13/01/2015 12:18

Thinking of you and your ds today, hopefully this will be another step closer to a good resolution.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/01/2015 12:43

Let us know. I agree with Andro.

Jux · 13/01/2015 13:18

Good luck baby.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 13/01/2015 14:19

I remember the previous threads. This may prove to be a breakthrough because now there may well be concrete evidence of your ex's behaviour. Given the past history, I think if any photos are found they would be bloody hard to explain away.

I'm sorry to hear this is ongoing and I am glad to hear that your DS finally has a supportive SW.

Best of luck.

Swipe left for the next trending thread