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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the au pair to eat breakfast in her own time?

238 replies

Mammagaga · 10/01/2015 00:20

The au pair works from 8-10 every morning AIBU to expect that she feeds the baby at 8am instead of leaving her screaming while she makes and eats her own breakfast?!

OP posts:
WonkoTheSane42 · 10/01/2015 00:22

Are you that Daily Mail woman with the dodgy eye?

Schoolaroundthecorner · 10/01/2015 00:23

I didn't think au pairs looked after babies, just children of school going age or thereabouts?

Metalguru · 10/01/2015 00:26

If she is only working from 8am until 10a, it is fair that she eats gets either before it after. Yanbu.

JohnQuig · 10/01/2015 00:29

YABVU.

What's it like, living in La-La-Land?

ScotsWhaHae · 10/01/2015 00:30

As an au paid I'm assuming she lives in? Does your child care for next to fuck all? Isn't qualified, paid minimum wage or is even paid properly (tax, ni etc).

Yabu. Pay peanuts, get monkeys. You want quality child care,,pay for it.

TanteRose · 10/01/2015 00:32

YANBU she should eat her breakfast before she starts work

I don't turn up at work and immediately sit down to eat Confused

CookieLady · 10/01/2015 00:33

YABU for hawking the au pair to look after a baby.

CattyCatCat · 10/01/2015 00:33

If she lives in then I think it is ok. It is nice for the baby to have the social experience of shared eating. If you can't do that I think it's fine for this lady to take your place.

melonribena · 10/01/2015 00:34

Pay her from 8.30 and feed the baby yourself? Clearly you are in the house to witness the screaming while eating?

melonribena · 10/01/2015 00:34

Pay her from 8.30 and feed the baby yourself? Clearly you are in the house to witness the screaming while eating?

squoosh · 10/01/2015 00:35

If it was a nanny I'd say YANBU but as it's an au pair I think YABU. You're not paying for a nanny level service.

SparklyTwinkleGlitter · 10/01/2015 00:37

YANBU.

You are paying her to look after your child for 2 hours between 8-10 am. It's not a twelve hour shift without breaks.

If you dropped the baby off at a daycare centre you wouldn't expect the staff to eat breakfast whilst ignoring the children they are supposed to be minding.

Tell her to prepare and eat her breakfast in her own time.

FightOrFlight · 10/01/2015 00:41

Are you that Daily Mail woman with the dodgy eye?

Grin
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/01/2015 00:47

An au pair is meant to be treated as a family member. She should sit down and eat with the baby. That said any sane would feed baby first and then sit down with their own food.

NeedABumChange · 10/01/2015 01:07

YANBU. She's doing two hours, tell her to get up ten minutes earlier and eat brekkie on her own time like most of the working world.

MaMaMarmoset · 10/01/2015 01:15

An au pair is meant to be treated as a family member. She should sit down and eat with the baby. That said any sane would feed baby first and then sit down with their own food.

this. But if she eats during her shift in general it is fair enough.

slithytove · 10/01/2015 01:22

Yanbu

YvesJutteau · 10/01/2015 01:24

I thought au pairs weren't supposed to have sole charge of babies?

But leaving that aside, I agree with Ghoul.

OutragedFromLeeds · 10/01/2015 01:26

OP you've got an au pair and therefore, in the world of mumsnet, no matter how well you treat them YABU and awful and you're from the Daily Mail and live in la la land and so on and so on.

Back in the real world...no YANBU. It's fine for her to eat breakfast with the baby/while she feeds the baby, but leaving the baby to scream is unacceptable. Although I would question why you're leaving the baby to scream and not either feeding it yourself or telling the au pair to stop eating her breakfast and feed the baby.

squoosh · 10/01/2015 01:33

OP you've got an au pair and therefore, in the world of mumsnet, no matter how well you treat them YABU and awful and you're from the Daily Mail and live in la la land and so on and so on.

Ummm except for the fact that the thread seems to be an even split of YABU/YANBU.

OutragedFromLeeds · 10/01/2015 01:38

I hold my hands up. I might not have been being entirely and completely factually accurate squoosh.

wobblyweebles · 10/01/2015 01:38

How could anyone sit and eat their own breakfast while a baby screams with hunger?

YANBU.

By the way, I've no idea which country you're in OP, but it's perfectly normal for au pairs to look after babies where I live, and at a cost of $24,000 a year I think that's perfectly reasonable.

OutragedFromLeeds · 10/01/2015 01:43

Au pairs in England don't get anywhere near £24,000 a year, more like £5000. And they aren't supposed to have long-term, sole charge of babies, but feeding them breakfast whilst mum is in the house is perfectly fine.

emeline · 10/01/2015 01:46

Why is the baby screaming when she arrives?

YvesJutteau · 10/01/2015 01:53

Au pairs in the UK are supposed to be paid a minimum of £3640 "pocket money" (scaling up weekly rates and assuming 25 hours a week) which is about US$5,500.

Yes, I did think after I'd hit post that if the mother was hearing the screaming then she must be in the house and hence it wasn't sole charge after all.

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