To expect the au pair to eat breakfast in her own time?

[Mammagaga]

The au pair works from 8-10 every morning AIBU to expect that she feeds the baby at 8am instead of leaving her screaming while she makes and eats her own breakfast?!

Weird responses on this thread and I was an aupair, and treated like shit.

People seem to have a problem with you having a job.

At any rate, I'm not sure you are getting your money's worth if you are paying for a travel card and 12 pound an hour. I'd look in to a nanny share. They'd take care of their own food travel expenses and be qualified enough to know you have to feed babies.

Christ, there are some real bitches on here.

OP, I'd tell her not to bother coming back. She is lazy and selfish and not doing her job properly.

So many jealous people on here!!!

I'm not an au pair so I don't know if my answer is relevant. I'm a nanny in sole charge. I eat either when the baby is napping or before I start work.sometimes I eat with the five year old but that's more to encourage table manners etc.
simply because I like the peace and quiet! I think reallly she shouldn't be eating when you need Her to be working so have a quiet word she may not of realised she was expected to eat before hand but no I don't think you are being unreasonable.

It's sad how rude people are on here. The OP is asking this girl to help with her childcare and feeding a baby is part of childcare.

As someone who works as a childcare provider I can honestly say I work for some of the most devoted parents, there's nothing wrong with a bit of help and if you can afford or why the heck not!!!!!

MN....that parallel universe where where having the temerity to have a job and pay an Au Pair will earn you a heap of thinly veiled attacks on your parenting ability.

Threads like this are shameful. The only thing holding women back in the 21st century are other fucking women.

Yeah Josephine it's women holding women back. Nowt to do with patriarchy or anything just women being bitches.

There's fuck all patriarchy going on this thread. Just women being horrible to women. It's so boring.

Chunderella, do you think it's unreasonable for an au pair to give children their breakfast then take them to school/childminder? I would have thought that was exactly what an au pair does do.

You talk about 'the duties you require' as though she wants something completely bizarre!

I would think an au pair who only had those duties was onto a bloody good thing.

Chunderella just explained that au pairs shouldn't be in sole charge of under 2s.

critiquing someones choice to use inappropriate childcare is being horrible.

*is not

My DH and my SIL got looked after by au pairs when they were babies and throughout childhood...not sure where the 'I didn't think au pairs looked after children younger than school age' thing has come from, is it a new rule???

Personally I'm on the fence about this OP. Why is the baby crying when she first starts her shift if you're paying her from 8am? However, I am also baffled as to how anyone could go get their own food and eat it when there's a baby screaming in front of them. I always feed my son first before anyone else or he tries to pinch your food! :p

What's this 'au pairs should not be in charge of under-2s' rule? I've never been an au pair or hired one but everyone I know who has worked as an au pair - sister, cousin etc - has had babies / toddlers in their care as well as older children.

If it's one of the au pair's jobs to feed the baby, and she knows that that is her job, and you have explicitly told her she has to feed the baby first before she feeds herself, and she STILL isn't doing it.....

Just sack her. This should not be such a freaking palaver.

If, however, your expectations are not as clear as crystal, then I'm afraid YABU, it is your fault.

The "no under 2s" thing is guidance rather than law, because au pairs are (usually) young, inexperienced, unqualified and with limited English. Looking after babies and toddlers is demanding and stressful, so not a great mix.

I don't understand why YOU can't get up a bit earlier and feel your own child.

You need to communicate with your au pair and perhaps clarify what you want. Maybe she'd assumed you'd fed her initially? If she isn't a mother herself she might not have a clue about taking care of a baby, she's not a nanny

Feed*

critiquing someones choice to use inappropriate childcare is horribl

Actually Chunderella et al, I know you're quoting the formal guidance etc, but strictly speaking the OP's under 2 is NOT in the sole care of the au pair. I would take sole care to mean full time charge, and this is not the case; the children are most of the time in the care of a qualified child minder and only for two hours a day in the care of the OP.

It is, at least, ambiguous, and quite apart from anything else the set up is not illegal.

In the care of the au pair....sigh

Grays - you need a bit more reading first and posting second, hth.

Nastiness on this thread is unbelievable, even for MN. OP can't do right for trying.

Au pair sounds useless. As she's paid her flight back now suggest you give her final warning talk then get rid of she doesn't improve.

Think its fine to eat with the kids but only after she's fed baby. 18mo should be able to feed himself some banana and toast so it's not rocket science.

poster GraysAnalogy Sat 10-Jan-15 11:58:39
"I don't understand why YOU can't get up a bit earlier and feel your own child."

That will be because she is paying someone else to do it you silly person.