aibu to my younger sister?

[Blackout234]

My sister (16 years old) is 20 weeks pregnant, i'm also pregnant(19 weeks)she is having a boy. I'm having a girl. for the last two days work has been heaving (I'm a mobile hairdresser, earnings vary) and i've earned alot of money, So I decided to go out and get myself some second hand pieces of baby clothing and look for a cot (for myself), however when doing so I came across a huge bundle of items for £150, when I say huge I mean HUGE. I can't even list everything in it but the main things are 10x massive bags of baby boy clothes up to 18 months, A lovely mamas and papas cot, a swing, playmat, changing table and an Icandy travel system. I went out and bought it (and filled my estate car to the brim!) I went and gave it to my sister for her birthday (Which is today), I didn't wrap anything but spent an hour at my mums house(Where sis lives) before she got out of bed putting everything up nicely and putting some ribbons on the bigger items. Its not like I handed it to her in black bags.
She came downstairs and went straight to her other gifts on the table, fairenough. then when I showed her what i'd gotten she seemed so unbothered by it then said "Eh i'm not really fussed to be honest with you. thanks but no thanks" Aibu to think she could have been a bit nicer? she's kept the stuff but i went above and beyond for her to do something nice (Ontop of shelling out for GHD's for today for her) . Shes 16, no job and her only income is 30 a week EMA so she's been unable to afford anything so far, i thought i was doing a nice thing :(

Hang the fuck on.
I have just come across handcreams comment (There are 7 pages and i missed quite a few comments)
*Sorry, it does sound like a feckless immature 16 year old who thinks the world revolves around her, I guess there is no father in the picture.

She has chosen to ignore all the education around birth control and decided without any money to get pregnant. Still, the tax payer will pick all of this up.

After all we don't want this silly 16 yr old to feel she has made some rubbish decisions with no real consequences*

You guess there is no father in the picture? Well shove your crystal ball up your arse cos they've been together for nearly 3 years. She had the implant in her arm, Hardly ignoring education around contraception and as for the tax payer comment 1. we're all tax payers in one form or another. 2. She has not claimed any benefits yet and shes not even sure if she will as she doesn't want to conform to the general stereotype of young mum in a council flat shitting out the "Taxpayers" Money.
Shes my sister, she can be a royal pain in the arse but i'll be damned if i let some up her own arse daily mail reader put her down.
jumps off soapbox Shortly after posting this im going to come back to the lovely people on here who thankfully use the daily mail as toilet paper.

Yes, I know that she got the GHDs, which I assume weren't for the baby!

Thankfully me and my Dsis have had a good heart to heart and have established it wasn't my fault. Dsis had an argument with her tutor that morning over the phone about an assignment that had allegedly not being handed it (Although later discovering,It had been handed in!) Hormones got the better of her and she just felt angry at me when i came over for next to no apparent reason, However she has now decided she loves the stuff and has sent me pictures of her baby boys nursery over her partners house (Where he runs his own home, at 18, WITHOUT THE HELP OF TAX PAYERS!) And i must say it looks lovely :) x

Good for you Blackout. You sound lovely and as though your heart was entirely in the right place. Lovely that you and your dsis are pregnant together even if it wasn't ideal to begin with. Your dc will be close growing up. Congratulations to you both .

Diddl you make no sense.

Blackout, I'm glad you sorted things out with your sister

Needaholidaynow unfortunately it is a very common misconception. I believe the most she is entitled to is 140 a week, hardly rolling in it by any means its less than minimum wage (Dp is on min wage and gets 190 a week) I wish something could be done about the misconception but unless we start burning the daily fail it isn't going to change.

How funny, I understood Diddl entirely . What don't you understand about what she said?

So lovely to read your update OP! I'm glad it all worked out. Also glad that you have stuck it so firmly to all the idiots on here with pre-conceived ideas about teen mums.

Well im 19 with an unpredictable income (Self employed) my partner is on minimum wage. If work doesn't stay steady we may need to claim benefits. Judge meeee.
Oh well, Lets see how handcream and others would last with less than 300 a fortnight. We live on 190 a week when i dont bring in any money (Does happen from time to time) that alone has given me way more respect for those living on benefits than I ever had before.

It's supposed to be less than minimum wage, people who actually work should be getting more than people who don't or the system would fall apart!

I am at some of the attitudes on this thread.

At sixteen someone isn't old enough to vote, to drive, to buy alcohol yet becoming pregnant makes them an adult and needing to be fully responsible? really? it's odd because the amount of threads I read on here about people in their twenties doing stupid/irresponsible things including one about someone having had an affair, ditching her fiance and then running off to the states with her om when she was 25 and that being justified on the basis she was "very, very young" are staggering, and yet someone gets pregnant at sixteen and suddenly she is an adult?

I have a twelve yo, there is no way that in four years time he is going to be a fully fledged adult capable of making adult decisions. And whereas a key decision in your twenties might be buying a house or a car at sixteen it generally centres around what makeup to wear or where to go out with your mates for the weekend. I'm sure that becoming unexpectedly pregnant changes that but you don't stop having the mindset of a sixteen year old just because you have now entered the world of needing to make adult decisions.

Op am glad you sorted things out with your sister :-)

Glad it got sorted OP.

It's obvious that you care about your sister.

Aw, glad you made up! And glad she took the stuff in the end as I felt it was well meant. Congrats to you both.

Glad you got it sorted Blackout, you sound like such a lovely sister. I would have given anything to have someone like you around when I was pregnant. [Thanks]

OP, glad you got it sorted out with your sister. It did sound a bit like there was something else going on! You are a lovely sister and I am sure your DS will be a great mum, she and her partner sound so different from the conclusions some people chose to jump to!

Cheesebuster are you so sure the system isn't broken already? Minimum wage and tax credits just subsidise big companies to make profits and pay top executives obscene amounts, and housing benefit just subsidises buy to let landlords pension plans, whilst so many people, both in work and out of it, struggle to make ends meet. So much so that people in work are relying on foodbanks to feed their families.

The system is broken, and it hasn't been broken by the people at the bottom of the pile, but by the greedy, reckless, selfish people at the top.

The benefits system does need sorting:

1. Any company who has employees receiving below living wage and also tax credits needs to repay the tax credits/raise wages before they can post profits/pay dividends/pay bonuses to top brass.
2. Foodbanks should not be part of the benefits system- emergency payments need to be reinstated and benefit sanctions need to be reduced and properly externally moderated for fairness by e.g. a voluntary sector organisation. That's a better role for the voluntary sector in the benefits system than running foodbanks on a voucher system. The current system is Dickensian.
3. The country needs proper rent regulation and much better rights for tenants. Just as property developers need to build a certain proportion of social housing per development, buy to let landlords with over a certain number of properties (say 5) should be required to let a certain percentage as social housing, or make a donation of a certain proportion of rents to local housing association.

Kicking people who are down has gone more than far enough in this country. it's disgusting how so many holier than thou people think it is perfectly alright to demonise and terrorise people because they are poor and can't fight back effectively.

RojaGato that's not what the thread is about though...

I work for a large company and my wages are fine, however a friend has opened a small business, she pays the minimum wage, its all she can afford to at present. She could I guess pay a living wage and employ less people.

I actually think replacing foodbanks with more money for the claimant wont solve the issue.

Handcream, most people don't use food banks because their benefits aren't enough week by week. They are used in emergency situations such as when somebody has lost their job, and it takes weeks or months to sort out their benefits. Or when a partner leaves the home and there's no income coming in for weeks.

Blackout I'm glad you and your sister sorted it out between you. You sound like a loving sister, and I don't know what, but something told me your sister wasn't prone to being a horrible brat...I thought there had to be something more to it.

As for you handcream - I hope you are thoroughly embarrassed about your awful, judgemental, plain ignorant opinions about this young mum to be.
Your post about her was terrible.

You sound such a lovely sister

I hope everything goes well with both of your pregnancies

I didn't think you were going to reply to my comment, Handcream. I find it hilarious that you decided to take a pop at my sisters education when you're the most uneducated person i've come across in a very, very long time.
But thats none of my business ;)
Thank you everyone else for your comments x

glad you and your sister have sorted things out blackout and that she appreciates the gifts.