aibu to my younger sister?

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My sister (16 years old) is 20 weeks pregnant, i'm also pregnant(19 weeks)she is having a boy. I'm having a girl. for the last two days work has been heaving (I'm a mobile hairdresser, earnings vary) and i've earned alot of money, So I decided to go out and get myself some second hand pieces of baby clothing and look for a cot (for myself), however when doing so I came across a huge bundle of items for £150, when I say huge I mean HUGE. I can't even list everything in it but the main things are 10x massive bags of baby boy clothes up to 18 months, A lovely mamas and papas cot, a swing, playmat, changing table and an Icandy travel system. I went out and bought it (and filled my estate car to the brim!) I went and gave it to my sister for her birthday (Which is today), I didn't wrap anything but spent an hour at my mums house(Where sis lives) before she got out of bed putting everything up nicely and putting some ribbons on the bigger items. Its not like I handed it to her in black bags.
She came downstairs and went straight to her other gifts on the table, fairenough. then when I showed her what i'd gotten she seemed so unbothered by it then said "Eh i'm not really fussed to be honest with you. thanks but no thanks" Aibu to think she could have been a bit nicer? she's kept the stuff but i went above and beyond for her to do something nice (Ontop of shelling out for GHD's for today for her) . Shes 16, no job and her only income is 30 a week EMA so she's been unable to afford anything so far, i thought i was doing a nice thing :(

2015 yes...yes I can, which is why I have written off most of the omg-the-ungrateful-wretch opinions on this thread as being bullshit born out of sheer snobbery.

Is she maybe in denial a little bit?

I fail to see how OP has "taken key decisions about her sisters baby away from her" - since when has baby stuff been key decisions?! It's just stuff! Most of ds's clothes were bought in bundles by mil, to which I was extremely grateful! The Moses basket was given to my mum for me by her friend so I didn't "choose" that either. When did stuff become such a big deal?! Imo anyone who wants control over every item bought for their baby is a control freak!

Well if it's just stuff, then it's no big deal if the OPs sister uses it asks Op to take it back?

Diddl - yes, it's just stuff. Stuff that OP spent £150 on so no, it's just plain rude to say "thanks but no thanks"!

Perhaps she should have said "thanks, but I'd like to choose my own stuff"?

I can't believe you think it's ok to turn your nose up at £150 worth of baby stuff! You must have more money than sense.

Good lord, I can't believe the mixed responses on here. Sister was being rude. Even if she had mixed feelings about the gift she should at least have been polite.

Sometimes I get gifts I didn't really want, would have preferred to choose myself, etc. I still say thank you and smile. And I did even at 16. It's just good manners.

Well I was one of those (obviously odd) people who wanted to choose stuff myself.

We were given a travel cot & high chair which stayed at my mum's for when we visited & a moses basket which we used at home.

But the great thing was that people actually said to us "oh, we've got X that you can have if you would like it"

It wasn't just dumped on us for us then to either use or dispose of.

Just ask her which bits she wants and tell her you will take back the rest. Sell it and keep that money for yourself.

If she wants to keep everything then I'd mention that you were a bit upset at her reaction. Then discuss her reaction and empathise with her. Try to understand why she reacted as she did but get her to see why you felt as you did too. Be nice to each other.

OP, you could ask her if she wants any of it, or why not just keep it for yourself?

I agree Diddl. Personally I think it's more about this 16 year old's socially unacceptable pregnancy than her lack of gratitude. An older, married woman would have been given endless advice on how to decline such a gift with endless outrage that someone should take it upon themselves to interfere like this.

As for the constant references to her being so horribly rude, let's remember there's only three years between them and they're sisters. Is it really outside the realms of possibility that a teenage sister might be rude to the other? Certainly not in my house, where there was a similar age gap between my dsis and I. Don't worry we are far more courteous to one another now .

Maybe the sister has realised she is a child herself and has no way of funding a baby so is planning to give it up for adoption and therefore does not need any of this stuff?

TBH, I can see both sides.

Op thought that she had done something thoughtful that her sister would love/appreciate.

Her sister perhaps didn't want baby stuff for her birthday?

There isn't nearly enough information here to judge the situation.

On the face of it the op was doing a lovely kind thing for her sister. The sister acted very ungrateful at the time. Presuming that is all that there is to it then I think op should just try hard not to take it personally, it's hurtful, but there is a good chance she may get an apology one day. I'm sure that we all did things at 16 which we regret.

We don't know anymore about the situation. There could be a million and one reasons why the younger sister acted this way, she's really young and in a situation that's frightening even for adult women.

Everyone's making lots of assumptions.

I'm 31 and 29 weeks pregnant.

We have been given lots of baby stuff, the cot is from a friend of my mum's, another friend gave us loads of stuff including moses basket and stand, swing, bumbo seat, and pushchair.

We can afford to buy new but the baby will use it for such a short amount of time that I'm very grateful not to have to buy it all.

I would have been very grateful to the OP and accepted it, kept what I wanted and sold the rest to fund buying the exact items I wanted. However I think I would have been slightly upset to have received it as a birthday gift so I can understand why the sister may not have been over the moon.

I do however think she was rude to not say thank you and accept it even if she didn't want to keep all of it and I'd think that whether she was 16 or 60. Being hormonal and overwhelmed is no excuse for bad manners.

I also don't think £500 goes far when buying baby equipment, even if she manages to buy everything she wants with it, she will still have the ongoing expense of nappies, clothes as he grows, wipes, formula which in my opinion is a much better use for the grant.

Agree with Nicki diddl and Pyjama.

"I agree Diddl. Personally I think it's more about this 16 year old's socially unacceptable pregnancy than her lack of gratitude. An older, married woman would have been given endless advice on how to decline such a gift with endless outrage that someone should take it upon themselves to interfere like this."

Yes.

On a side note I think handcreams comments are really off.

Having a baby at 16 is far from the ideal and far from what I'd wish for my son or daughter. But to make lots of negative assumptions is just wrong. I know of a fair few people who've had children in their teens. Some aren't doing so good but some are doing great. Two in particular I can think of, one had her dd at 14 and is now in her late 30s and is a social worker, happily married, she worked from the time that her dd was school age and worked her way up. Another had her son at 17 and is now a teacher, started as a nursery nurse, then a TA, then qualified as a teacher.

Please don't write young people off just because they haven't made the ideal choices.

To those saying if it were an older pregnant woman being given the gifts we would be saying they should decline and choose the stuff themselves, well no actually it would be rude and ungrateful to react in this way regardless of age. I'm a younger mother myself, and would never react in this manner. I think it is patronising to presume otherwise.

Diddl - "perhaps she didn't want baby stuff for her birthday" - she got GHDs as well off her sister.. How much more does she want?! Good grief!