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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pull a sicky for DS under these circumstances?

142 replies

Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:31

Let me start with saying I am (or was before I had to leave to care for DS full time) a teacher. I thoroughly believe in the education system... BUT the only reason I send my DS to school is for the social skills, he has severe special needs and disabilities and cannot learn academically in a school environment, they work mainly on his social skills and I work on the academic stuff at home.

Basically in February DP has managed to wrangle a weekend off, which means he can take me and DS to visit my family, who I never ever see and miss. DS sees them on skype weekly and I'm desperate for them to meet him, and when I say family I mean my dad and sisters.

To make the most of it we would have to leave on Friday morning, if we leave it till after school the traffic will be horrific and we run the risk of DS overheating (he overheats fast even in a tiny bit of warmth) and having a seizure. We basically need a clear run with stringent breaks for medical and intimate care needs.

The headteacher of DSs school, although I'm sure would want to give him the day off authorised, is stuck under the new council rules of 'no holidays during term time' we will be fined if we take him for one day, which we cannot afford.

There was a little boy in his school like him who was recently taken to disney world by his parents, his parents told me they called him in sick every day but all the staff seemed to know he had been to Disney world so it seemed like a well known fib if you see what I mean.

Could I just call him in sick on the friday? Get a good run at it and visit family? Or just cancel? I feel horrid about even the thought of lying Sad but he will be socialising even more while away (staying with a family with 2 children his age) so wouldn't even be missing out on that.

What do you think? Should I just not bother? Or should I lie? I keep swaying from one to the other, but I really really want to see my family, and half terms are a no go for holidays in DPs line of work, and I will need him to drive while I keep an eye on DSs health etc, I can't take him on the train, too much equipment.

OP posts:
SocialMediaAddict · 02/01/2015 21:32

Phone in sick.

Shamazeballs · 02/01/2015 21:33

Lie. It's one day. Have a lovely time with your family.

Dietagainmonday · 02/01/2015 21:34

Without a doubt phone in sick.

LadyLuck10 · 02/01/2015 21:35

Definitely phone in sick. It sounds like it would do you all a world of good to see the family.

Original poster
Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:36

Wow thanks everyone. I really thought I was going to get a flaming for this! I can't wait for February now Smile

OP posts:
Mammanat222 · 02/01/2015 21:37

Your son is school age and has never met your dad or sisters?

SoonToBeSix · 02/01/2015 21:37

Just call in sick but you don't get fined for one day unauthorised.

minionmadness · 02/01/2015 21:38

It's just one day. Phone in sick. Stop worrying and have a great time.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 02/01/2015 21:39

Personally, I wouldn't lie. I would simply inform the school that DS won't be in that day, and give the reasons why. Let the school decide on whether its authorised, or unauthorised. Chances are, they'll come up with some reason to justify the educational or developmental aspect of the visit and authorise it (doesn't look good on the school to have unauthorised absences!)

Original poster
Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:39

No he hasn't. They live very far away and can't travel for their own reasons plus have no room to host here due to equipment taking up all the space. I haven't been in the position to take him anywhere until this year after he has finally got some sort of improved health.

OP posts:
minionmadness · 02/01/2015 21:40

Mamm And. Why is that any of your business?

TheGonnagle · 02/01/2015 21:41

Don't lei, it will only worry you. Tell the truth, tell them you don't care whether it's authorised or not (one day won't trigger an issue) and go and have a wonderful time with your family.

Timeforabiscuit · 02/01/2015 21:42

I would fib in a heart beat.

Hope you enjoy your trip!

Original poster
Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:42

I'm worried about the fine though. We really couldn't afford that.

OP posts:
skylark2 · 02/01/2015 21:43

If you need a clear run, I'd have thought you'd be better off leaving Friday evening at 7 or 8pm after rush hour. A couple of accidents during the daytime and you'll be stuck. How long a drive is it?

myotherusernameisbetter · 02/01/2015 21:43

Id go without question and I say that as someone who's children haven't missed a days school since they were 6 - now 14 and 13.

Tinks42 · 02/01/2015 21:43

I wouldnt even bother lying either to be honest. Just tell them why you are taking him. If that's not enough then I think its rather ridiculous.

Original poster
Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:44

7 or 8pm would probably end up too late and we would end up waking up our hosts children who have their own needs Sad otherwise that's what I would do.

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/01/2015 21:45

Why do you think you would be fined for one day's unauthorised absence? I know different authorities have different fining thresholds, but I've not heard of any that would fine for one day if attendance is otherwise good. It's usually some formula whereby they fine if attendance over a given period drops below a specified percentage.

myotherusernameisbetter · 02/01/2015 21:45

on the phone I'd just say that DS is unable to come to school today but i am sure he will be fine to return on Monday. that isn't a lie. You may have to fib on the note though if they require one on his return.

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/01/2015 21:45

Definitely ring in sick. Hope you all have a great time. Smile

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 02/01/2015 21:46

They won't fine you. They'll authorise it. Ofsted don't like unauthorised absences.
Don't lie - you need the trust of the school if you're to have a good working relationship with them. Liars always get found out in the end.

Original poster
Hurr1cane · 02/01/2015 21:46

I could just say he's had a seizure (happens most nights anyway, nights are the worst for body temperature control) and while we are going away anyway I might as well keep him off? That wouldn't be a lie? Maybe? Or am I just being a dick?

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 02/01/2015 21:48

I dont understand why you are getting worked up about it? I wouldnt lie about a seizure though, thats a bit off.

WooWooOwl · 02/01/2015 21:49

They are very unlikely to fine you for one unauthorised absence. I wouldn't lie.

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