To pull a sicky for DS under these circumstances?

[Hurr1cane]

Let me start with saying I am (or was before I had to leave to care for DS full time) a teacher. I thoroughly believe in the education system... BUT the only reason I send my DS to school is for the social skills, he has severe special needs and disabilities and cannot learn academically in a school environment, they work mainly on his social skills and I work on the academic stuff at home.

Basically in February DP has managed to wrangle a weekend off, which means he can take me and DS to visit my family, who I never ever see and miss. DS sees them on skype weekly and I'm desperate for them to meet him, and when I say family I mean my dad and sisters.

To make the most of it we would have to leave on Friday morning, if we leave it till after school the traffic will be horrific and we run the risk of DS overheating (he overheats fast even in a tiny bit of warmth) and having a seizure. We basically need a clear run with stringent breaks for medical and intimate care needs.

The headteacher of DSs school, although I'm sure would want to give him the day off authorised, is stuck under the new council rules of 'no holidays during term time' we will be fined if we take him for one day, which we cannot afford.

There was a little boy in his school like him who was recently taken to disney world by his parents, his parents told me they called him in sick every day but all the staff seemed to know he had been to Disney world so it seemed like a well known fib if you see what I mean.

Could I just call him in sick on the friday? Get a good run at it and visit family? Or just cancel? I feel horrid about even the thought of lying but he will be socialising even more while away (staying with a family with 2 children his age) so wouldn't even be missing out on that.

What do you think? Should I just not bother? Or should I lie? I keep swaying from one to the other, but I really really want to see my family, and half terms are a no go for holidays in DPs line of work, and I will need him to drive while I keep an eye on DSs health etc, I can't take him on the train, too much equipment.

[Italiangreyhound]

Phone in sick, he is your child.

The government are wrong to make it so hard to do something nice for our kids.

Do you need to say why? Get a story in your head but only say it is you need to. I usually just say DD isn't well. Or me if I am not well, people don't need to know too much.

From what you describe your son is not well a lot of the time. Cut yourself some slack. Just don't elaborate too much, it will not be a surprise to people that a child is sick at this time of year!

[Hurr1cane]

It's so hard. My friend has two children and one in an independent special school with different holidays so she had to choose a holiday and ask for time off for the other child. But was refused and lost all her money

[Hurr1cane]

And another friend asked for a holiday so her children could go to their dads wedding as was refused to rang in sick and the school turned up at her door to 'check' her children were persistent absentees though.

[TheReluctantCountess]

Tell them the truth. I bet they authorise it for him.

[TheReluctantCountess]

Stop comparing your situation to other people's. Yours is a unique situation with a special child. They will authorise it, I bet.

[AuditAngel]

My daughter is taking part in a professional pantomime production. It opened on 2 December and closes on 11 January. As it is a professional production the children are all licenced to perform.

The Government guidelines state that licenced theatrical performances should NOT be treated as unauthorised absence. Unfortunately our current acting Head thinks herself above the rules and Government guidance and refused permission for my daughter.

Fortunately she had over 96% attendance last year. I spoke to the local authority and, despite her teacher not authorising the absence, she was issued with a licence. In total she will have had 5 days absence, made up of one full day and eight half days.

I am hoping not to be fined, and should I receive a fine, I shall appeal in the basis that the guidelines state this should be authorised absence.

I suspect that this will be her only opportunity to take part in such a performance, as now her attendance will fall below the target level, so the authority will not licence her without the school's approval, which I will never get with the current head.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I didn't say I know for sure all the time, chunder. Just most of the time and for the reasons I gave. But even if we know for sure the child wasn't sick (for example, as clam said above, if the child dobs their parent in) and the parent has lied, there isn't anything we can do about it.

[SuburbanRhonda]

another, I said the trust would be broken by the parent lying to the school about a child being ill, not by taking a day's absence from school. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

[clam]

What is the consequence of "trust being broken" though? Really? There's nothing the school can do about it. They're not going to take it out on the child, quite rightly, and if the parents couldn't care less, or even if they could, so what?

[fufulina]

I wouldn't lie. Just inform them he won't be going on that day.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Exactly that, clam. If parents lie to school staff about their child's health in order to get an authorised day off, there's nothing we can do.

[Hurr1cane]

To be fair, there was never a trust exchange between me and the school, not because I lie but because they do. So I'm not feeling guilty about lying to such a wonderful place, I just don't like lying as a rule and never do it.

I'll just tell them the truth. It's not worth my stress levels to lie. If they try to fine me then I'll just say I'll fight it.

But it's not because they're great. "It's ok we will just use your DSs 1:1 as a classroom TA, they don't get specific 1:1s here from the LEA, closely followed by (when they had actually bothered to read his statement) "oh his statement is very specific, they aren't usually this detailed, do you work in education?"

Yes I do, as it happens, and I know how to phrase things, but it should have no consequence to how my child is treated compared to others, which is why I proof read and amend statements for free.

It is a stupid rule, made up to stop particularly useless parents from not sending their children to school just because they can't be bothered, but it's a rule that affects us al here at the moment so I guess I'll have to follow it and suck it up

[PisforPeter]

Deffo phone in sick

[SuburbanRhonda]

Fido chunder!

Put the bone down - now!

[anothernumberone]

suburban you were clear. Don't take parents lying to you so personally when they are trying to circumvent a ridiculous law.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I don't take it personally, another. I just feel for the children whose parents care so little about supporting their child's education by supporting the school, that they are happy to lie to staff about sickness and are often happy to encourage their children to collude in the lie.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I wish I understood your post setthefire because I think it's meant to be funny and we could do with a laugh on this thread

[Hurr1cane]

Suburban, it's bugger all about supporting the school or supporting education in my case. I do a lot to support the school, education in the academic sense only happens at home, and the only reason I was tempted to lie was because the headteacher is stuck under some new law. Which she herself doesn't like.

Oh also I wouldn't have encouraged DS to lie, but he isn't capable or dropping me in it either.

I have said I'm not going to lie now though. I'll go in and talk to the head when they go back tuesday. If she won't authorise it then I'll have to see where I can go from there.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I wasn't talking about you, OP. The thread moved on and one poster mistakenly thought that I equated supporting the school with not taking days off, when I actually equated supporting the school with not lying about the reason for your child's absence.

But that was in a general sense, not about your situation, and as I said way upthread, our school would authorise your DS's absence on the grounds that it's exceptional circumstances.