To pull a sicky for DS under these circumstances?

[Hurr1cane]

Let me start with saying I am (or was before I had to leave to care for DS full time) a teacher. I thoroughly believe in the education system... BUT the only reason I send my DS to school is for the social skills, he has severe special needs and disabilities and cannot learn academically in a school environment, they work mainly on his social skills and I work on the academic stuff at home.

Basically in February DP has managed to wrangle a weekend off, which means he can take me and DS to visit my family, who I never ever see and miss. DS sees them on skype weekly and I'm desperate for them to meet him, and when I say family I mean my dad and sisters.

To make the most of it we would have to leave on Friday morning, if we leave it till after school the traffic will be horrific and we run the risk of DS overheating (he overheats fast even in a tiny bit of warmth) and having a seizure. We basically need a clear run with stringent breaks for medical and intimate care needs.

The headteacher of DSs school, although I'm sure would want to give him the day off authorised, is stuck under the new council rules of 'no holidays during term time' we will be fined if we take him for one day, which we cannot afford.

There was a little boy in his school like him who was recently taken to disney world by his parents, his parents told me they called him in sick every day but all the staff seemed to know he had been to Disney world so it seemed like a well known fib if you see what I mean.

Could I just call him in sick on the friday? Get a good run at it and visit family? Or just cancel? I feel horrid about even the thought of lying but he will be socialising even more while away (staying with a family with 2 children his age) so wouldn't even be missing out on that.

What do you think? Should I just not bother? Or should I lie? I keep swaying from one to the other, but I really really want to see my family, and half terms are a no go for holidays in DPs line of work, and I will need him to drive while I keep an eye on DSs health etc, I can't take him on the train, too much equipment.

Ask yourself how you would feel if one of the teachers with the same problem phoned in sick and a class missed important work.

Could you leave at 1.05pm (just after PM registration)? That way DS won't be counted as absent for any session and the school can't object...

There's a massive amount of variation about execution of these fines just on this thread alone. That makes me wonder how many people (schools and LEAs included) really know what they're talking about, and how much of what's being reported is based on fact. If there really are these sorts of differences from area to area, then the whole system stinks even more than we all thought, and it should be binned.

For the record, in my school, parents are taking as many holidays in term-time as they ever did and no one has ever been fined. I know this as I teach there and asked the HT and office manager about it just before the end of this last term.

Chunderella

I also am responsible for attendance in the school I work in.

You usually know when parents lie. You get to know the children, parents and their ways.

The criteria for a persistent absentee is about to become tougher too. (A different set of circumstances to holiday absence). This sets off a different procedure in our school.

We always know full well when parents are lying about an absence. Usually the children dob them in. Still, nothing is done about it.

I don't think you should lie but I would hope that under these circumstances the absence would be authorised. The system should also be consistently applied country wide so that people know what to expect.

It's hard to say how we know, chunder, but in this particular case, a parent phoning to say their child is sick today (Fridays are the most popular sick days for families going away for the weekend), but will be well enough to come back on Monday would be an obvious lie to anyone, I would have thought.

It's true that some people are very convincing liars, but the circumstances and the reasons for absence normally out them in the end. I would much prefer people just said, "we're taking them out, we are not concerned whether it's authorised or not". Much more honest.

Though as I said upthread, in our school the OP's absence would count as exceptional circumstances.

zzzzz I like to think I am sensible. The point is that parents and teachers have a responsibility for the education of children and neither should set it aside lightly for personal convenience. Perhaps it's as well that I'm not a teacher and my son is long since grown up!

Sorry OP wasn't having a go about him not having met your family.

Even more reason to go to be honest?

I am with the others that say don't lie about him having a seizure, I get that he has one most nights anyway so it's not technically a lie as such but if he has one every night and manages to get to school for me it's a bit too much "tempting fate" to say he's had one bad enough not to be able to go to school IYKWIM?

I'd either just email or text in and be very vague or be completely honest.

setthefire, so did you phone and say he was sick on the Friday but you expected him to be well enough to come in on the Monday? If not, it's not like the situation I described!

And as I said, we pretty much always know, but sometimes we don't.

tiggy Just been Ofsted-ed. No problem. Absences are unauthorised in the main, I believe.
I have to say that the inconsistency annoys me. Either have the rule and everyone suffers the same consequences, or ditch it. But at the moment, we have the ridiculous situation where some people are being fined for a "crime" that doesn't appear to be classed as a crime elsewhere in the country. That can't be right.

I hope you do/did it and have a lovely weekend away with your son - our HT would authorise this one (let my kids out for my DBs wedding abroad) and it's very unfair that there isn't a consistent policy on this.

We also have access to a students attendance history.
A child who has the same Friday and Monday off each year (just before Christmas) together with the knowledge that grandparents live in Ireland sets alarm bells ringing.

In this situation, for any child, I would fill in a holiday form for the Friday afternoon. This is 1 session absence,
I would then tell the office staff you will be taking him out of school after registration in the morning. You can then leave early without being fined and your conscience is clear

The thing is though Suburban the issue to tackle is persistent absenteeism. I certainly would not feel my 'trust' was broken in your shoes if once in a while a child who attends all the time missed a day to spend it with family. I also would not take the chance of being refused to spend that time with my child as a parent if such a ridiculous law existed here. I am a lecturer, I get the significance of lost learning opportunities but for us a one day absence across the year from students would be considered a miracle. Older children particularly are also capable of self guided learning for a missed day so there really is not much difference.

I would have thought in these circumstances the head would turn a blind eye and you wouldn't get in trouble for lying about a sick day. Obviously she /he wouldn't say that. I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought really. Enjoy your family time

Taking him to school and then taking him back out again would really mess with his head though

I might just be honest then and hope for the best.