To pull a sicky for DS under these circumstances?

[Hurr1cane]

Let me start with saying I am (or was before I had to leave to care for DS full time) a teacher. I thoroughly believe in the education system... BUT the only reason I send my DS to school is for the social skills, he has severe special needs and disabilities and cannot learn academically in a school environment, they work mainly on his social skills and I work on the academic stuff at home.

Basically in February DP has managed to wrangle a weekend off, which means he can take me and DS to visit my family, who I never ever see and miss. DS sees them on skype weekly and I'm desperate for them to meet him, and when I say family I mean my dad and sisters.

To make the most of it we would have to leave on Friday morning, if we leave it till after school the traffic will be horrific and we run the risk of DS overheating (he overheats fast even in a tiny bit of warmth) and having a seizure. We basically need a clear run with stringent breaks for medical and intimate care needs.

The headteacher of DSs school, although I'm sure would want to give him the day off authorised, is stuck under the new council rules of 'no holidays during term time' we will be fined if we take him for one day, which we cannot afford.

There was a little boy in his school like him who was recently taken to disney world by his parents, his parents told me they called him in sick every day but all the staff seemed to know he had been to Disney world so it seemed like a well known fib if you see what I mean.

Could I just call him in sick on the friday? Get a good run at it and visit family? Or just cancel? I feel horrid about even the thought of lying but he will be socialising even more while away (staying with a family with 2 children his age) so wouldn't even be missing out on that.

What do you think? Should I just not bother? Or should I lie? I keep swaying from one to the other, but I really really want to see my family, and half terms are a no go for holidays in DPs line of work, and I will need him to drive while I keep an eye on DSs health etc, I can't take him on the train, too much equipment.

[FoodieToo]

Am really stunned by this thread. Have parents lost all authority in the UK?

I am a teacher in Ireland, but on career break. I am taking my five kids( all primary) out of school for a week in January to go skiing. Nobody will bat an eyelid. If they miss anything important I will cover it with them but I know a week off won't harm any of them.

It's awful that you feel under such pressure ,OP. I hope you go and have a lovely time. If your school do not understand they are being completely unreasonable.

[Hurr1cane]

Thanks setthefire, I do care, I assume the majority of parents do though, my main priority is getting him to be able to socialise and get some level of independence, and the school is the best place for him to learn that (because I'm over protective and he happily clings to me like a limpet) so it is very important to me.

To be fair his headteacher did authorise him time off at the end of term because he was stressed about christmas, even though she didn't agree with my thoughts, which we didn't use because we managed to find a way of minimising the stress for the last few days.

I might even ring Monday, she might have more time on the training day before the children are back in

[SuburbanRhonda]

We all hate the new rules too, foodie.

But the government brought them in and they are enforced in maintained schools by Education Welfare. If we are not doing enough to improve attendance, we can fail an Ofsted inspection and that brings a whole raft of problems with it.

[Hurr1cane]

Ok sorry suburban, probably feeling a bit over sensitive no school = no sleep for me, especially over Christmas when DP works all hours and doesn't come over to stay up all night while I sleep.

[SuburbanRhonda]

As I have now stated quite clearly more than once chunder, my comment was a general one about parents not supporting the school by lying about the reason for absence. It was not a comment about the OP as the thread had moved on at that point.

[Hurr1cane]

Although the headteacher may have only authorised that because she knows I would quite happily pull DS out and home school him if I didn't think school was in his best interests. I much prefer having him at home to pester me all day

[SuburbanRhonda]

No need for an apology, OP.

I hope your HT sees sense and authorises your absence

[anothernumberone]

So Surnurban if the op applies and your 'equivalent' in her school does not give the op the day, do you think in this circumstance the child's education has been best served by that decision? That is a very possible outcome for the op.

I personally cannot see a reason why I should defer to someone like you, and I mean that with the greatest of respect, to make a decision such as the ops. I am a parent and with that comes ultimate responsibility for my child's education and thankfully as I have said it is not an issue here.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I don't authorise absences, another, the HT does, as is the case in every maintained school. They are the person you would (or wouldn't in your case!) be deferring to.

The HT makes the decision based on guidance from the LA, which in turn is based on what the DfE tells them they must do.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Not sure the word "infallible" ever came into it, setthefire

[Quiero]

I thought they could only fine after 5 days?

We took DS out on the very last day of the summer term last year. We had booked our holiday before the rules changed. I wrote a letter to the head saying DS wouldn't be on on said date and whilst I know she wouldn't authorise it I didn't want to be dishonest.

She replied saying it wouldn't be authorised but not to worry and have a great holiday. I don't think they're always as bothered about these things as you might think.

[anothernumberone]

Suburban I think you are being a bit obtuse with your response there. This issue reminds me of Professor Umbridge in Harry Potter upholding the law and taking offence when people didn't support her.

[Waitingonasunnyday]

I always thought schools would prefer parents fib about 'common sense holidays'? So they don't have to fine us, even though we all know what is going on.