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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have upset SIL, she has accused me of calling her a bad parent (GTA related)

200 replies

40somethingwonderful · 25/12/2014 15:00

Met up at her house for Christmas and exchanged gifts, My nephew opened up a gift from "Father Christmas" and he was so excited as he got the gift he wanted Grand theft auto, My mouth was wide open and my SIL asked what was wrong, I just said isn't that an 18 rating, she said "I think so, but it is what he wanted".

Later on my nephew put the game on and I told my children to come out as it was not suitable for them, sil got all uppity and told me its Christmas and I should loosed up, I explained that while it is her decision to let her DS play it, I have the right as a mum to not allow my children to play it, she then said to her son you carry on, I don't mind, but then I must be a bad mum.

We quickly made our excuses and left shortly after.

What would you have done?

Nephew has just turned 8 and my eldest is 13.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 25/12/2014 15:01

The same.

LongDistanceLove · 25/12/2014 15:02

An 8 year old with gta? Nope, she's the shit parent.

I love that game, but in no way is it suitable for 8 year olds at all.

FryOneFatManic · 25/12/2014 15:03

GTA isn't suitable for 8 yr olds. Just because your nephew wanted the game doesn't mean he ought to have it. I see my role as a parent to tread the balance between getting something my children want and ensuring it's also appropriate for them.

CaptainAnkles · 25/12/2014 15:04

I would've done the same too. I have a 13yo and I wouldn't let him play it.

Sprink · 25/12/2014 15:06

The same.

And I think she's defensive because she's not entirely comfortable with her decision.

This will blow over. It's entirely her choice what gifts she gives to her child and entirely your choice what your child is allowed to play with. You're both within your rights, just different.

mushypeasontoast · 25/12/2014 15:09

My db wanted to get it for ds1 (14). I asked him nicely to return it to the shop. Yanbu

ScrambledEggAndToast · 25/12/2014 15:13

YADNBU. DS is 11 and has been begging for this game for well over a year, apparently 'everyone has it". Well, as soon as I saw the clip with the prostitute giving oral sex followed by the driver running her over I knew I was justified saying no!!

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2014 15:20

Video games have ratings for a reason.

For some reason, people seem to think that its bad form to give a child an 18 video but its perfectly fine for a game.

God knows why.

browneyedgirl86 · 25/12/2014 15:20

Yanbu!

An 8 year old with gta is disgraceful. I'm sorry but I'm with you and I would have did the same thing.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/12/2014 15:21

Yanbu

TidyDancer · 25/12/2014 15:23

Gosh. If she gets that impression from you then maybe it's a good thing. Since it's true! Nobody who is making good parenting decisions allows an 8-year-old to play or watch that game.

bloodyteenagers · 25/12/2014 15:26

It's becuase of idiots like her that there are calls for games to be banned. Hell will freeze over first and Santa will be real before I let my 8 year old anywhere near the game.

bananapickle84 · 25/12/2014 15:30

YANBU. Especially as you made it clear that it was her choice what she does with her son but you were just making a choice for your DC.
I think the majority of people would think her choice was a bad one. It's been proven that these games have a huge negative impact, especially on children that young.

GilbertBlytheWouldGiftIt · 25/12/2014 15:33

Does she know why it's rated 18?

angelohsodelight · 25/12/2014 15:35

Show her the hooker getting a blow job then blasted in the face with a gun ..... See if sil thinks GTA is still suitable them.

Figster · 25/12/2014 15:36

Yanbu she is bad parent if she's letting an 8yo play that game what an idiot

DramaAlpaca · 25/12/2014 15:41

YANBU. I'd have done the same as you.

samithesausage · 25/12/2014 15:41

I'm pretty lax about games ratings, my kids are 8 and 10 this year... But GTA 5 is something I won't let my kids have... It the violence against women thing that I object to.

EdSheeransGString · 25/12/2014 15:44

Yanbu, I am pretty relaxed but there is no way on earth I would give an 8 year old gta.

I played it, I hated it. I liked the other ones and even though they are disgusting the new one is something else. It's awful and I won't play it again.

VitalStollenFix · 25/12/2014 15:48

I couldn't put it any better than angelohsodelight. Any parent who buys something with that content for their eight year old child is a shit parent. Perhaps she ought to have taken 5 seconds to google it before buying it for her young child.

TheNumberfaker · 25/12/2014 15:52

Yanbu. Ratings are there for a reason. I refused to get Kick Ass 2 for my nephew (then aged 13) as it was a 15. DH told me I was silly and got it anyway. I dare not ask what games DN has got to go with his PS4 this year!

WeThreeKeemasofOrientNaan · 25/12/2014 15:54

I agree that it's not appropriate and moving your kids out was the right thing to do, but saying it in front of her child will have got her back up. If she's stupid enough to give her child an 18 game, more fool her. They have ratings for a reason.

scaevola · 25/12/2014 15:57

She's probably not a shit parent.

Just a normal one who has made a crappy decision, and who perhaps doesn't fully understand the content of 18 rated games.

Maybe she'll change her mind about it after she's seen what happens in play.

swampytiggaa · 25/12/2014 15:59

Husband bought it for boychild aged 12 against my wishes. He played it twice. He was vile afterwards and so I insisted the game was got rid of. Boychild hasn't asked about it since. Husband has learned that I am always right.

And actually I am pretty lax about age ratings mostly. I wouldn't be happy to have that game in our house at all regardless of who was playing it.

Wildmilmum · 25/12/2014 16:01

YANBU in the slightest! I may have been known to snap GTAs which appeared in our game collection for the DCs... DH thought it was harmless... Soon learnt.