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Original poster

I have upset SIL, she has accused me of calling her a bad parent (GTA related)

200 replies

40somethingwonderful · 25/12/2014 15:00

Met up at her house for Christmas and exchanged gifts, My nephew opened up a gift from "Father Christmas" and he was so excited as he got the gift he wanted Grand theft auto, My mouth was wide open and my SIL asked what was wrong, I just said isn't that an 18 rating, she said "I think so, but it is what he wanted".

Later on my nephew put the game on and I told my children to come out as it was not suitable for them, sil got all uppity and told me its Christmas and I should loosed up, I explained that while it is her decision to let her DS play it, I have the right as a mum to not allow my children to play it, she then said to her son you carry on, I don't mind, but then I must be a bad mum.

We quickly made our excuses and left shortly after.

What would you have done?

Nephew has just turned 8 and my eldest is 13.

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 25/12/2014 20:23

My 13 year old wanted a belly piercing and some alcohol. I said no (I think she was winding me up but even so).

The job of the parent is to parent and this means saying no sometimes. I wouldn't have GTA in the house.

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 25/12/2014 20:27

I think people think that video games are somehow "different" to films. If you popped on an 18 certificate DVD of an afternoon for children that age, those present would probably be horrified but because it is a game, they don't seem to get it.

I missed this post before, but I think that's it. There seems to be this train of thought that games are for children therefore they must be okay. I actually know someone who genuinely believes that games are rated on their difficulty and not their content and it's impossible to convince her otherwise.

That's why I wonder if that's the case for most of these other parents who buy these games for children. I hope so because I just can't wrap my head round people actually knowing what the gameplay consists of but still thinking it's acceptable for 8 year olds to play it...

ShadowKat · 25/12/2014 20:34

YANBU.

It's a completely inappropriate game for an 8 yr old.

I think some people wrongly assume that just because something's a videogame, it must be suitable for children.

ShadowKat · 25/12/2014 20:35

x-posted

Cubee · 25/12/2014 20:37

At my son's school there was a display on the wall about fantasy worlds. Done by the grade 1/2s - age7 and 8. It was something to do with the Faraway Tree books. Most pieces of work were 'Rainbow Land' or 'Jungle Land' etc. But 3 (!!) were 'GTA Land'. Bad enough that these kids knew what it was, but for the teacher to accept and PUT ON THE FREAKING WALL just beggars belief. " in GTA land you can be Franklin and steel cars and shoot peepel".
Your SIL made a bad call. As did the teacher at my son's school.

CassieBearRawr · 25/12/2014 20:48

I like the posters who are all horrified at GTA but let their kids play other age rated products Grin Oh I'm sure I'll be told how "it's different" but there you go. Just shows how different people can take different approaches eh.

wizzler · 25/12/2014 21:03

YANBU... presumably as she is your SIL she is either the sister of your DH or the wife of your brother... I would talk to one of them...say you are sorry for upsetting her and suggest they look at the game independently and make their own decisions. I would not be happy that my DN was watching that game.

IMO you definitely did the right thing by getting your DC away from the game.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/12/2014 21:03

I love GTA but I wouldnt let my DD (7) near it.

To whom mentioned Dragon Age inquisition, the game itself its bad, I think its more to do with the nudity in the some of the (optional) romance scenes.

The clip I have just seen was a bloke picking a prostitute up, shagging her in his car then getting her to give him a blow job .... he then pays her and she walks away, as she walks away he shoots he in the back and then runs over her body, reversing a few times to make sure she is dead - then he 'gets his money back'

Just to point out, this scene isnt in the game play, its part of the online set up in which you get free roam. Still, too much violence for an 8 yr old in the main game.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 25/12/2014 21:04

Dragon Age isnt bad, sorry.

Momzilla82 · 25/12/2014 21:06

I have two sons. Both under 5. Innocent, beautiful children. Reading about these games makes me ever more inclined to completely ban any sort of console from our house. Ever. But then I know I am a controlling parent, because I want them to stay innocent children for as long as possible. If one ever crosses our threshold- nothing goes in front of my children that i don't know about and haven't played.

Makes me want to move to Australia.

OP your SIL was being vvvvv UR.

Madamecastafiore · 25/12/2014 21:07

My god she sounds utterly incompetent as a parent.

This game would never be allowed in my house regardless of the age of the kids (or adults for that matter).

Cubee · 25/12/2014 21:25

Momzilla82 - the school i'm talking about is in Australia. Grin

I ban games, consoles, films... tv. Lol. But ex doesn't. So kids get exposed to what he considers to be appropriate with him. And what i consider to be appropriate (ie, nothing!) with me.

I don't really 'ban' by the way. I just don't own. Games and films are not my thing.

scaevola · 25/12/2014 21:30

Dragon Age has a PEGI rating of 18, but a Commonsense Media review age of 13 (both parents and players). It's probably OK for teens.

livingzuid · 25/12/2014 21:46

There is nothing wrong with Dragon Age for an older child and cannot be compared in any way shape or form to GTA. DH loves GTA and, although I have a pretty high tolerance level as a gamer myself, was one I couldn't watch or get into. He had to play it when I was asleep or out the house. I thought it was disgusting. Even DH was freaked out by the torture scenes and felt they had gone too far in the game.

notquiteruralbliss · 25/12/2014 22:02

evil tendency I think I am perfectly 'right in the head' as you put it but I have always chosen not to censor anything my DCs watch / read / play with. They are considerably older than 8 and it seems to have worked just fine.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't buy GTA. And my DCs have never expressed an interest in buying it. I suspect they find it a bit mindless. None of them have been that interested in play station type games other than as something they do when at friends houses.

Momzilla82 · 25/12/2014 22:05

Cubee I'm cancelling my ticket now. That's awful. No hope left for sanity or humanity then. Best stay in UK with my marmite then.

GatoradeMeBitch · 25/12/2014 23:10

EIGHT?! I resented buying it for DS and he's 18. She is a bad Mum, you should have agreed with her.

TooHasty · 25/12/2014 23:23

I don't mind COD etc at all, but I think games with explicit sexual content especially in a non-relationship context is porn and borderline abuse.You wouldn't leyt your DC watch that sort of thing on TV I hope.
Howevert you were in your SIL's house.There was no need for you to comment on her choice of present.That was plain rude.

306235388 · 25/12/2014 23:26

There's no way I'd let my 8 yo play or see GTA and in fact I'd never buy it for an 18yo

dirkdiggler1 · 26/12/2014 00:38

It is a truly amazing game but in no way suitable for an 8 year old. Is she aware that in one mission you have torture a guy by choosing the methods then applying them? Extracting teeth with a pair of pliers, electric shock through the nipples and waterboarding. As an adult with a clear grasp of reality it's great fun but would give kids nightmares I'd imagine.

JCDenton · 26/12/2014 01:40

Reading about these games makes me ever more inclined to completely ban any sort of console from our house. Ever.

I banned paper from my house after I read American Psycho.

ASAS · 26/12/2014 03:25

I'll tell you this, I could barely stomach the image that appears on the PS3 system on screen when the disc is in never mind when the game is in play. Husbands doing as DS is still a toddler.

If SILs knee jerk response is you're a bad mum I reckon you've definitely hit a nerve. Frankly, wouldn't it give an 8 year old nightmares?

Roonerspism · 26/12/2014 03:38

YANBU. Of course you are not.

How is this game legal? If you replaced the violence against women with a minority it wouldn't be.

The game - if you can call it that - sounds utterly misogynistic. But that is ok - because it's women. FFS

HexBramble · 26/12/2014 07:08

I loathe the very existence of these games, GTA, COD etc.
Loads of lads I teach play these games, bought for them by their parents.
I wonder how many parents buy these unwittingly, not having done their research? Absolutely vile.

I have 2DD's and like other posters, will admit to being very controlling in the sense that I check everything they get bought before I let them have it. Games console games like these will never cross my threshold and fortunately, DH agrees with me totally.

Keeping the innocence of children for as long as possible seems to be scoffed at these days. Fuck that - games like these seem to lack any thoughtful imagination at all, and in my ideal world, wouldn't exist in the first place.

Vile.

HexBramble · 26/12/2014 07:12

Sorry, in my rant I forgot to say that YANBU. This topic makes me so angry,
Your SIL is being daft about this and I wouldn't let it go tbh. I'd call her today and ask her if she's seen the content. You could tell her that plenty if other thoughtless idiotic twattish parents indulge their kids like this without realising the harm it can do. Ask her to play it herself first - if she has any sense at all, she'll burn the damned game and thank you profusely for making her see sense.