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Original poster

I have upset SIL, she has accused me of calling her a bad parent (GTA related)

200 replies

40somethingwonderful · 25/12/2014 15:00

Met up at her house for Christmas and exchanged gifts, My nephew opened up a gift from "Father Christmas" and he was so excited as he got the gift he wanted Grand theft auto, My mouth was wide open and my SIL asked what was wrong, I just said isn't that an 18 rating, she said "I think so, but it is what he wanted".

Later on my nephew put the game on and I told my children to come out as it was not suitable for them, sil got all uppity and told me its Christmas and I should loosed up, I explained that while it is her decision to let her DS play it, I have the right as a mum to not allow my children to play it, she then said to her son you carry on, I don't mind, but then I must be a bad mum.

We quickly made our excuses and left shortly after.

What would you have done?

Nephew has just turned 8 and my eldest is 13.

OP posts:
forago · 26/12/2014 17:46

dirk is my opinion valid? I've played GTA5 and every game in the series as well as the original Chinatown wars and the actual original drug dealing game. I am in my forties and have been playing games since the late seventies when I had Tank the year after it was released on the Atari. I have had every game playing machine going since then - commodore 64, spectrum, game and watch, gameboy, megadrive, gamecube, N64, playstation up to current 4, Wii, Wii u, multiple gaming PCs and 3DS. I spent most of my early teens in video arcades (remember them?) and still play games now, when I can, despite having young children (10, 7, 4). They have access to a ps4, Wii u, 3DS, Tablets and a PC. The 10 year old has recently started playing 12 games Luke super smash Bros etc.

No way on earth would i let him play GTA5 while he lives in my house. Do I also have to shut my face.

bloodyteenagers · 26/12/2014 18:41

No the older ones are not suitable either.
No 18 year old game is suitable. Even with the volume down they are not suitable. Anyone claiming different is an idiot who doesn't give a shit about what their child is subjected to, and chances are will go on to normalise certain behaviours. One of the reasons why adults don't go onto normalise the behaviour they see on the screen is because they know it's not real, they are aware of the consequences of their actions repeating play in real life, they have the maturity that goes with the games. Something, that an 8 year would/should never possess.

JCDenton · 26/12/2014 18:55

Are the older games more suitable? I am guessing probably not as they still have the 18 rating.

All of them are very near the knuckle to be honest, with an 8 year old I wouldn't quibble over versions. I assume it's not one of the old 2D ones. I'm guessing it's 4?

WeeFreeKings · 26/12/2014 18:59

I enjoyed playing the original aged 16 when it was to do with completing mission type things. Yes I'd car jack a lot but because it was birds eye view it was much less graphic.

This new one is a whole other level. Watched the prostitute clip & couldn't bring myself to watch it to the end.

At a stretch suitable for a mature 16:year old. Absolutely not any younger & wouldn't want my child to be in the same room as it. YANBU. Shit parenting decision regardless of her being a shit overall parent.

LilMissSunshine9 · 26/12/2014 19:08

I just got a ps4 and it came with gta5 and I've played it. I wouldn't allow children to play it - there is a reason for a ratings system! However I also have to laugh at some of the OTT statements about the game and how its all about porn scenes etc. and it should be banned and why do these games exist and why would anyone want to play such things.

People really should play the game before picking up on one small aspect of the game and using that as a basis as to why its the most evil thing in the whole world. Just to clarify you don't have to walk into the lap dancing club and get a dance or pick up a prostitute on the street for a blowjob it is a CHOICE you as a gamer make. When I have played it I have chosen not to do those things but complete the missions - a skill in itself trying to control the car!

But to the OPs point YNBU to not let your kids see the game.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 26/12/2014 19:15

The worst point of the whole gameplay for me, was torturing some guy for information, I hated that part.

JCDenton · 26/12/2014 19:17

I think most players did, it's had an intensely poor reaction everywhere I've read.

noblegiraffe · 26/12/2014 19:23

I don't want to play the game because I don't want to give money to a company that thinks ever-increasing levels of sexual violence against women is something that they want to include in their game as entertainment, and indeed a money-spinner.

The rest of the game could be shit-hot and I'm still not interested. Just like I wouldn't pay to go and see a comedian who had a great set apart from the racist jokes.

CassieBearRawr · 26/12/2014 19:25

Personally I don't think any of them are suitable for kids, but believe me I know how many people disagree.

Here's some game play footage of the top-down style original GTA:

Here's a walk through someone's done of the latest one:

But yep, just turn the volume down and it's all a-ok.

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat · 26/12/2014 19:37

Wow.
I just watched the footage cassie linked to. That is absolutely vile. Viler than I thought. And my thoughts were bad enough.

CassieBearRawr · 26/12/2014 19:45

In a lot of ways it's no worse than your average adult rated action/crime/whatever film. And look at how lush those graphics are - it's like watching a film sometimes.

But then, I watch different films to those the kids watch, yanno?

JCDenton · 26/12/2014 19:46

Exactly, Cassie. The missions themselves are like a gangster film.

DustyCropHopper · 26/12/2014 19:52

I won't let my ds1 play any of those games, he is 9 and unfortunately it has led to some unkindness from others his age who are allowed. I remember a friend of mine complaining about the effect that GTA was having on her son, he was swearing at the TV, throwing the control in temper. He was 5 at the time! YANBU in what you did, but i wouldn't say she was a shit parent, just a poor decision on her part.

Original poster
40somethingwonderful · 26/12/2014 19:55

:( Thank you Cassie.

Words fail me, this is just another in a long line of bad parenting decisions.

OP posts:
CassieBearRawr · 26/12/2014 20:15

@Dusty - It's so sad because there are bloody loads of great kid appropriate games.

It's like, I wouldn't want my 9 year old reading The Pianist or Huck Finn or Birdsong or Red Dragon...they have all their lives to read stuff with adult content when they're emotionally able to understand it and the context (and maybe not be upset by scary scenes or influenced by bad language!) But why would they need to anyway when there are literal libraries worth of fantastic kids books to read?!

Ubik1 · 26/12/2014 20:22

I think when a parent gives a child something like this, they are in effect saying that everything that child will experience while playing the game is normal and acceptable.

The adult is the child's benchmark: if you give a child GTA it isnt going to turn them into violent criminal but it does offer a certain set of values that a child will assume is a normal part of our culture. Because their parent - an authority figure - has given them the game.

It's a stupid thing to do especially - as other posters have pointed out - there are some great games out there for kids his age.

DustyCropHopper · 26/12/2014 20:28

Reading most of the opinions on this thread has really helped me tbh. When things with ds1 were at there worst (it was actually mainly about COD, rather than GTA) I did wonder if I was making him the target by sticking to my guns (so to speak) on it. My db said he didn't feel COD was that bad, but I still feel it to be inappropriate when there are plenty of games he can play in his age range, not to mention the fact that we have a few games and he only plays FIFA a majority of the time. Not so long back I heard 2 mums asking each other if the others child had COD or Assasins Creed. This was children in ds2's class and they were 5 at the time. Ds2 wouldn't have a clue at that age, he can only just about manage Mario Kart on the wii!

AlexD72 · 26/12/2014 21:09

Op you are right and your SIL is wrong. It's a vile game and you wouldn't expose an 8 year old to what happens in these "games" in real life so why let them be exposed to it in their home. Disgusting parenting.

DoILookLikeIWorkHere · 26/12/2014 22:39

Yanbu. I found out 30 mins ago that my idiot of a brother bought this for my ds after I'd repeatedly told him not to. He'd hidden it in a Fifa box. I'm fucking furious.

CassieBearRawr · 26/12/2014 23:10

That's really bad form WorkHere. I'd be sending him out to buy said copy of Fifa as a replacement. What a shame he won't be able to return GTA now he's opened it Grin

QueenInTheNorth · 26/12/2014 23:19

I think lots of ratings are a bit...over-rated? like some of them are a bit 'sensitive' however, GTA is 100% unsuitable for an 8 year old. I'd maybe not say 'oh you've got to be 18 to have that' but 8! thats just such bad parenting. but I think GTA is vile for all age groups and hate that DP plays it on his phone

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 26/12/2014 23:33

Dragon Age is over rated, probably should be a 15 or lower. My rule is, if I would let them watch that stuff as a film, then why would I let them watch it and play it.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 27/12/2014 01:43

Can someone who has access to the game confirm or deny whether it is possible as meisiemee claims, to play the game in a way that is age appropriate for an 8 year old, with close parent supervision?

If you can play it at age 8 appropriate level then I think a lot of the responses here are way over the top. The internet is full of stiff worse than I've heard can be found in GTA, and it's fine to allow am right year old to use it, as long as they're closely supervised. It doesn't matter that this way would be wasting the game's 'potential'- if its what a parent wants to do then that's their right I suppose.

If you can't play out without inappropriate scenes, actions, or sounds, then yes yanbu and sil is an idiot.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 27/12/2014 01:51

Oops, didn't read this last page.

Yanbu, no child should have this game.

browneyedgirl86 · 27/12/2014 01:52

DecaffCoffee- I've never seen a way to play the game in a child friendly manner. Driving about some of the radio stations have swearing, sometimes whilst driving about you see pedestrians get into fights with each other, you can witness people being held up at gun point. If you do any missions there will be bad language and a lot of content that is not suitable for children.