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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have upset SIL, she has accused me of calling her a bad parent (GTA related)

200 replies

40somethingwonderful · 25/12/2014 15:00

Met up at her house for Christmas and exchanged gifts, My nephew opened up a gift from "Father Christmas" and he was so excited as he got the gift he wanted Grand theft auto, My mouth was wide open and my SIL asked what was wrong, I just said isn't that an 18 rating, she said "I think so, but it is what he wanted".

Later on my nephew put the game on and I told my children to come out as it was not suitable for them, sil got all uppity and told me its Christmas and I should loosed up, I explained that while it is her decision to let her DS play it, I have the right as a mum to not allow my children to play it, she then said to her son you carry on, I don't mind, but then I must be a bad mum.

We quickly made our excuses and left shortly after.

What would you have done?

Nephew has just turned 8 and my eldest is 13.

OP posts:
CassieBearRawr · 25/12/2014 17:31

YANBU. I've played this series since the original GTA. I even have the DS version Chinatown Wars. It's very much not for children. Anyone buying it for an under 18 isn't necessarily a shit parent but its a shit parenting decision. Don't worry about it. Just keep doing what's right for your own kids.

wheresthelight · 25/12/2014 17:46

She is an idiot!! I would have been a lot less polite in my response to her telling me to lighten up

JingleSpud · 25/12/2014 17:49

She is BVU.

DH has the game. I dont mind watching him play it but he refuses to play it when the kids are up thankfully

WyrdByrd · 25/12/2014 18:14

YANBU.

Tbh I'd have probably been considerably less restrained in telling her why it is so inappropriate. I can only assume she had no clue of the nature of this 'game' - if she does and has bought it anyway she is a rubbish parent.

WeAreEternal · 25/12/2014 18:25

I have an 8yr old and I would never let him even watch someone playing that game.

YADNBU.

Goldenbear · 25/12/2014 18:30

It sounds terrible, what's 'good' about the game?

redcaryellowcar · 25/12/2014 18:33

Yanbu I would have done the same.

getthefeckouttahere · 25/12/2014 18:34

i am astonished by the number of boys at my DS primary school who regularly play tho shame. Almost invariably gaining access by older (12 - 15) brothers.
Exposing youngsters to this is child abuse and should be treated as such.

getthefeckouttahere · 25/12/2014 18:35
  • This game
lem73 · 25/12/2014 18:39

I would have done exactly as you. She reacted like that because she knows she's out of order giving it to him and so is a bit touchy.

Original poster
40somethingwonderful · 25/12/2014 18:43

Thank you for your replies, I have since looked further online, seen clips and I realised it was a lot worse than I originally thought.

I am hoping she will see the content and take it away. I am actually quite disturbed by what I have seen online.

OP posts:
zippey · 25/12/2014 18:48

Fantastic game but not suitable for an 8 year old. Having said that, a lot of 8 year olds play it.

CassieBearRawr · 25/12/2014 18:56

I used to work for a game shop. I assure you plenty of kids are just being bought this outright, no 'access through older siblings'!

What makes me so sad are the staggering amount of truly fantastic age appropriate offerings out there - you're missing out on so much by leaping straight to GTA V! Personally I've been kept very well occupied by Little Big Planet 3 for the past few weeks.

MuttersDarkly · 25/12/2014 19:01

The clip I have just seen was a bloke picking a prostitute up, shagging her in his car then getting her to give him a blow job .... he then pays her and she walks away, as she walks away he shoots he in the back and then runs over her body, reversing a few times to make sure she is dead - then he 'gets his money back'

Oh crap.

One of my students (aged 9) is getting it for Xmas. He asked me to translate Grand Theft Auto (I'm in Italy) in front of his mum. She was all "oh that's why it's 18 cert".

I fear in one house in my neighbourhood today there will some Nonni choaking on their post lunch drinkie when indulgently watching Small Boy trying out his new game.

Fairylea · 25/12/2014 19:16

Does she know what it's like? If she does she should be ashamed of herself. I'm just wondering as a lot of adults just think it's a driving game with a bit of swearing / violence in it (bad enough) but they don't realise how damn near pornographic and horrific the violence is (my dh has the game). I'd send her this thread and some clips. Totally inappropriate for anyone really in my opinion, let alone someone under 18.

Marshy · 25/12/2014 19:36

My ds is 18 next year. I haven't bought him this for Christmas and have explained to him why I don't think he should buy it for himself. I think I'm a pretty laid back parent but this game is vile and I have told him why I think so. I would be surprised if he bought it.

YANBU but maybe SIL is not fully aware of the content??

Wishfulmakeupping · 25/12/2014 19:43

I would have done the same who gives a child that game?! Even if you'd been living under a rock and hasn't realised the content was so vile surely the rating would give you a bloody idea?!

Wishfulmakeupping · 25/12/2014 19:44

Crossed posts marshy that wasn't aimed at your post just very similar points there

Goldenbear · 25/12/2014 19:47

I really don't understand how this game can be 'fantastic'- gratuitous violence and misogyny, yes, sounds 'fantastic'??

notquiteruralbliss · 25/12/2014 19:58

I generally don't worry about age ratings and I am sure my DCs have played GTA from a fairly young age at friends houses with no apparent ill effects. I wouldn't buy it (or any play station game) though as we don't have ( or want to have) a play station.

notquiteruralbliss · 25/12/2014 20:01

TBH I see nothing wrong with her 8 yo playing it ( if he / she are both comfortable with the content) and nothing wrong with you not wanting your DCs to play it.

Fairylea · 25/12/2014 20:05

I don't see how any parent can be comfortable with their child playing it unless they have no idea of the content and haven't played it themselves.

If you wouldn't want your child watching porn then you don't want them playing this. It really is that bad and that simple.

(And I'm someone who is generally very laid back about age ratings etc, dd who is 12 has watched all the vampire diaries with me on netflix and also a fair few other 15 rated things if I've seen them first etc).

EvilTendency1 · 25/12/2014 20:11

not quite

Are you serious !? This game shows prostitues performing oral sex and being shot in the face ! And you're comfortable with your 8yr old watching and playing that ?

I think you should look to change the last part of user name and replace it with right in the head !

Bowchickawowow · 25/12/2014 20:13

I think people think that video games are somehow "different" to films. If you popped on an 18 certificate DVD of an afternoon for children that age, those present would probably be horrified but because it is a game, they don't seem to get it. My DH is a gamer and plays it but he would never allow DS1 (8) to play (DS does play Destiny and Halo) I am surprised how many of his friends are allowed to play GTA and COD.

ThereIsAPartridgeInTheKitchen · 25/12/2014 20:22

I always wonder about parents who buy their young children 18 rated games like this. Do they actually know what the gameplay consists of or do you think they are just naive and assume (like a lot of people who don't play games themselves) that video games are for children therefore it must be okay?