To think having a big wedding on the Saturday before Christmas is a bit inconsiderate

[Fallingovercliffs]

My SIL's close friend is getting married this Saturday and she was just saying to me that it's adding hugely to the stress of Christmas as they have to travel down early on Sat morning and stay over right in the middle of preparing for Christmas and trying to get all the last minute stuff done. She's also trying to fit in a hair appointment on Friday before the wedding although it's the day the kids break up from school and her little one's carol concert is that morning. Not going isn't really an option as they've been friends for years and the bride would be very hurt if she didn't go.

It just got me thinking. Isn't it a bit inconsiderate to hold a wedding so close to Christmas when most people are up to their eyes as it is. Yes I know people can refuse the invite, but that can cause bad feeling particularly if it's a close relative or long standing friend.

I agree the distance does make a difference - a local wedding would be a nice break from Xmas shopping and preparation, but when it involves a bit of travelling, that adds more time and more cost, especially if you need to stay overnight. And it's not necessarily Xmas shopping/ preparation that people could be busy with - it could be plans to meet up with family you won't see on Xmas itself, that kind of thing.

However, I must admit that having to get and post presents early because of the wedding I'm going to has meant everything can be sent second class, so I've saved some money there :)

A close friend of DH's got married the weekend just before New Year. This was at a remote country house hotel in the middle of the Irish countryside (we live in Scotland and about half the guests were not local - as in living in Ireland; I don't think anyone lived 'locally' to this venue). Beautiful in summer and in the snow, and a bloody nightmare to get to in good weather, let alone down dirt track roads in bad weather in the dark. I only actually went because I didn't have other plans and it wouldn't have saved much money by me not going, but am still about it a few years later. At that special time of year, the hotel, which was the only place you could stay within about 30 miles, which might be ok in decent weather but not in bad, cost 400 euros a night, not including breakfast (another 20 euros per head, and no other options within 30 miles!). The distance and location meant it wasn't practical to stay for less than 2 nights. Overall, it cost us well over £1k to attend. A single friend who came spent not much less.

It was nice to attend and we did enjoy it but could really have done without the expense at that time of year - that was the main point, we might not have minded so much in say summer as it could have been part of a longer break, but as we had other things on (like Christmas and New Year plans), that wasn't possible, and the combination of both the hotel and travel being more expensive, as well as travel being more difficult because of the weather...

YANBU at all. For many people who work full time or part time, the run up to Christmas with work deadlines, Christmas shopping, children's nativities, end of term concerts, Christmas fairs, etc mean they are completely maxed out timewise as it is. Totally sympathise!

YAB a little unreasonable, as people can obviously get married whenever they like. However, the bride doesn't have the right to be 'hurt' if people decline the invite. Yes the idea of a big winter wonderland wedding is lovely, but if you plan anything in December you must be prepared for people not to come. It also sucks to have to put up with crowded transport and premium hotel prices because of someone else's fantasy day.

the wedding I attended was fab and we had a lovely time.

I was a bridesmaid at a winter wedding around 5 years ago. It was held the Sunday before Christmas (around the 21st).

This was because the groom was a teacher and they couldn't go away on honeymoon outside of school holidays.

It was great, I had finished for Christmas so didn't need a day off and didnt have any kids so not much to do in terms of christmas prep anyway.

If your SIL was going to Elton John's wedding I have zero sympathy for her regardless of how much hassle it caused

Im a wedding coordinator and im working 5 weddings this week, and 1 NYE and 1 NYD. The NYD one is VERY unreasonable. Who wants to drag themselves out of a hangover to attend a wedding??

The only day we dont have one booked in is Xmas day, and thats only because we have 450 people in for christmas dinner.

LOL. No, not Elton John's wedding I'm afraid.

She did go to the wedding and they were late because the traffic was bedlam on the way down. They had to drive through two towns which were almost at gridlock. Other guests had the same problem and about a third of the congregation missed the bride walking down the aisle.

We got married the Saturday before Christmas because it was the only way all my siblings (who each lived on a different continent) could attend.
However it was a rather small wedding (ceremony at 10:30AM, lunch at a nice restaurant, and that was it).
Some people couldn't attend, we didn't resent them.

BIL got married the week before Xmas. Was a total nightmare. Started snowing during the reception so people started leaving early, the band couldn't get though the snow so they didn't turn up. It was an absolute nightmare driving home in a blizzard. Plus someone with swine flu had turned up and loads of people (including my family) were really really ill over Xmas. The newlyweds had to postpone the honeymoon due to bad weather.

Don't think it was quite the wedding they dreamed of.