To think having a big wedding on the Saturday before Christmas is a bit inconsiderate

[Fallingovercliffs]

My SIL's close friend is getting married this Saturday and she was just saying to me that it's adding hugely to the stress of Christmas as they have to travel down early on Sat morning and stay over right in the middle of preparing for Christmas and trying to get all the last minute stuff done. She's also trying to fit in a hair appointment on Friday before the wedding although it's the day the kids break up from school and her little one's carol concert is that morning. Not going isn't really an option as they've been friends for years and the bride would be very hurt if she didn't go.

It just got me thinking. Isn't it a bit inconsiderate to hold a wedding so close to Christmas when most people are up to their eyes as it is. Yes I know people can refuse the invite, but that can cause bad feeling particularly if it's a close relative or long standing friend.

It's not something I would choose to do (although I did have an Easter wedding, maybe that's just as bad) but I'd be happy to go to a wedding this weekend, it's good to have a nice reason to shake up a few traditions, it's taken illness and death to do that in my (extended) family.

Where is the wedding? Is it in the bride and groom's home town? I don't think it is unreasonable actually.

We were invited to a wedding in Scotland 2 days after Boxing Day. We didn't go. No-one was offended, and to be honest if they were then I would have thought "ah, we were right not to massively inconvenience ourselves at great financial cost"

Imagine. A romantic thing like a wedding in the middle of a romantic season like Christmas. Surely it's more BU not to get married now....?!

No, it's a two and a half hour drive away and will involve staying overnight.

falling they obviously wanted a christmas wedding. And I'm sorry but if it really is an old, close friend, she shouldn't mind a bit. Surely it's more important that her old, close friend is getting married and that knew plenty in advance despite the fact that it's a little inconvenient. Like others have said, christmas is every year, this wedding will be only once. Crikey it's not like your SIL has had to plan this wedding as well as plan christmas!

We had a Christmas wedding and TBH I couldn't give a stuff if it inconvenienced anyone. It was their choice whether to come. In fact only a couple of people couldn't make it but that was down to the fact they were going to their home countries for Christmas.

In fact, most of our guests relished getting together with each other near Christmas without having hassle of organising (and paying) anything.

I do not regret it a single bit

I'm getting married on Sat- upset now

We sent the invites early last Dec so everyone has had notice. 1 person has declined due to family reasons, which is totally fine- no one else has expressed concerns about proximity to Christmas. TBF, hardly any of our friends have DC- we are in our late 20s living in central London and no plans to have kids for a few years, and most other guests are in the same boat.

Why shouldn't she mind because it's an old and close friend? I have old and close friends but I don't think they should never mind what kind of inconvenience I put them to.

I got married 29th. Nearly did the weekend before Christmas but we broke up from school the day before so not really a possibility. I'm going to a wedding this Saturday. It's fine by me. Christmas doesn't need to be stressful. Also did Miss the memo about guests getting their hair done professionally? When did that become a thing?

YABU. IF your christmas is so complicated and important that it takes every day for weeks to organise, to the point that you resent going to the wedding of close friends, you are getting both christmas, and friendship, wrong.

IT's one day. Go with good grace or not at all. And stop overcomplicating everything!

Surely all it requires is a bit of extra organisation & forward planning?

As for the expense, most people would give 2 months or more notice for a wedding invitation & everyone knows when Christmas is.

It's really not that much if a drama.

im perplexed.
christmas happens every single year. Are you planning something massive that needs days/weeks of preparation that you cant prepare beforehand, or just tone down xmas for one year?? Or maybe dont go to the wedding if xmas is so important you cant go out for weeks beforehand?

Yes Grockle my SIL's Christmas is important. She has three small children and elderly parents who spend Christmas with her. She and her DH work fulltime out of financial necessity so they are really really busy coming up to Christmas trying to get everything done. She is not 'overcomplicating' anything, just worn out and wishing she didn't have to travel 130 miles to a wedding in the middle of everything.
But she's also a nice person and wouldn't hurt her friend's feelings for the world.

I am afraid I think getting married the weekend before Christmas, or between christmas and new year is selfish.

People are majorly pushed for time at this time of year, preparing to go here there and everywhere visiting family. Plus they feel very short on funds due to presents and christmas dos. To expect people to give up their precious time/ change their plans/ spend money they don't have just because YOU think "ahhh Christmas, so romatic" is selfish IMO.

Congratulations happygirl87

It's my wedding anniversary I hope you enjoy your day as much as we enjoyed ours.

Forget those on here that are saying its unreasonable. People will always find a problem with something.

falling Well sorry but I know that an old close friend of mine would be far more important than my own inconvenience. Honestly, I would have had it planned out to the letter and I would just be happy that she was happy and excited that I had her gorgeous winter wedding to look forward to.

I went to a wedding on December 22nd a few years ago. It was wonderful, a lovely Christmassy wedding, they sang carols in the service! It wouldn't have occurred to me that it was inconvenient, apart from the fact that other people were moaning. but then I was fairly local.

Well I disagree isolemnly. I don't think that because someone is an old and close friend (or relative) that anything I do could never possibly inconvenience them because they should just be happy for me.

I bet if this were just a Christmas party she would be able to find time in her busy planning schedule to attend without bitching.

If I were to marry again I think Christmas Eve would be fab. But then again, I'd elope, becauseI don't like anyone enough to put up with their bitching.

somethingfunny why selfish?

Are you being forced into attending the wedding?
What if it was in Timbuktu? Still selfish?
Do you have a god given right to attend this person's wedding at the time and location of your choice?

Utter rubbish. The bride and groom have decided when they would like to get married and they have asked you to attend and you have, presumably accepted that invitation (probably some months ago). Now you decide your time is too precious, wow, they are so lucky to have you as a friend!

We have been to over 30 weddings in the last two years (peaks and troughs: only 2 for next year so far!) and I've never been to a Christmas wedding. I think I'd love it, and I am the kind of person who makes hard work of Chrsistmas so would find the logistics stressful, but what the heck!

Happygirl- don't worry a bit. I think this might be one if these things that is seen as unreasonable on MN but not the rest of the universe. We got married on 30th Dec for our own, personal reasons. Lots of people said it was the best wedding they had ever been to. Your wedding will be lovely and memorable. Congratulations and good luck :)

Have you had much notice (planning time) for this wedding? Given the length of time most people plan weddings for, I'd have thought you could have done your Christmas preparations early for this year (and felt smug about it!)

Where did I say she was 'bitching' Midnitescribbler? And a Christmas party doesn't usually take up all day Saturday and all Saturday night, and involve an overnight stay and a 260 mile round trip. And I am pretty sure most people wouldn't go if it did.

If it was a close friends wedding I would go and be glad to see all my friends close to Christmas.

If it was just an acquaintance is probably feel annoyed about the timing.

Splinter bum on the fence :-)