To think having a big wedding on the Saturday before Christmas is a bit inconsiderate

[Fallingovercliffs]

My SIL's close friend is getting married this Saturday and she was just saying to me that it's adding hugely to the stress of Christmas as they have to travel down early on Sat morning and stay over right in the middle of preparing for Christmas and trying to get all the last minute stuff done. She's also trying to fit in a hair appointment on Friday before the wedding although it's the day the kids break up from school and her little one's carol concert is that morning. Not going isn't really an option as they've been friends for years and the bride would be very hurt if she didn't go.

It just got me thinking. Isn't it a bit inconsiderate to hold a wedding so close to Christmas when most people are up to their eyes as it is. Yes I know people can refuse the invite, but that can cause bad feeling particularly if it's a close relative or long standing friend.

I got married in the week before Christmas. I was a teacher and it had to be the school holidays. People make such a big deal of getting ready for Christmas! Nice to have a break from it I would have thought. It was also a week day so some people couldn't make it.
However I am not much of a planner. The wedding was planned in 3 months total and I don't think about Christmas until the very end of November.

We had a beautiful sunny day with blue sky.

Why would Christmas 'blight' a wedding? It makes it even nicer.

I'm inclined to agree with you OP, and with SoonToBe.. I doubt the bride meant to be so Bridezilla - she probably didn't give any of the impracticalities for her guests a second thought when she envisaged her romantic Christmassy wedding.

If she doesn't have children herself yet then she probably has no idea how awkward it will be for people with young families and a busy lives to be travelling long distances and factoring in overnight stays at such a busy and expensive time of year. I know you can't please everyone, but there will be lots of people grumbling about this, and fretting about how they will get their own Christmas organised.

It's easy to say 'just don't go' but in reality if the person is close to you it is far easier said than done, without the shit hitting the fan.

I always think this when I read about the recent ridiculous craze for completely OTT hen nights that cost hundreds of pounds and take three days out of the lives of everyone who attends. It's just madness.

I'm getting married next Christmas and I'm really worried now.
To be fair, the furthest people are coming is a two hour drive away.

I can't believe it makes me bridezilla!

We didn't know many with young children when we had ours so I can't see that it was bridezilla. Thinking back there were 2 junior aged ones who were on school holiday and not far to travel, and the bridesmaid who stayed at our house with her parents and was also on school holiday.

I went to a friend's wedding just before Christmas when we had 3 children, the youngest a baby. It was nice to get out for the day at that time.

I was researching my family tree a couple of years back. My great grandparents married on Christmas Day in 1888.

Chipsahoythere it does not make you bridezilla at all.

To be honest MN does seem to have a very negative view towards weddings.

As I said we got married on 29th two years ago. With the exception of one couple everyone accepted day invites with a lot commenting childcare (I had the shocking childfree wedding) was easier ad grandparents were still nearby. We also accepted the fact the weather had the potential to cause issues for people.

Evening invites were not all accepted but I appreciated the reasons for that.

People had 4 plus months notice so the costs were not all at the same time as Christmas.

The time of year was special for us as we met at Christmas and also got engaged at Christmas.

You could actually say whatever date someone picks for their wedding is selfish as will potentially inconvenience someone!

As others have said you plan around this weekend being written off.

Not simply "issues" - the weather (up here in Scotland anyway) could make the journey treacherous and cause guests to incur significant costs if they were unable to travel after having bought outfits and paid for accommodation.

Well Sirchenjin if Scotland had featured in my wedding plans then we would have probably avoided it. However my wedding was in the south and the furthest a guest had to travel was from Manchester.

Also as someone has said snow is a more regular occurance in Jan/Feb not Decber in the south.

People getting married at Christmas is not unreasonable - not wanting to go is not unreasonable.
If a 'friend' stops talking to you because you don't go to their wedding - they are not a friend.
There are many reasons people decline wedding invites, Distance, not having enough money to buy an outfit to wear, inconvenient timing,..etc etc.
You get an invitation for a wedding, not an order to attend.

I went to a wedding on 21st December last year and it was lovely, can't really see the problem. Most weddings are booked at least 6 months in advance so it isn't exactly a surprise is it and can be worked around.

That's good you would have avoided it Noodle - not everyone would be so thoughtful. Whilst it might be romantic etc to have a Christmas wedding it's a bugger of a time to be travelling, esp for guests who are driving long distances at a time when there is a real chance of bad weather preventing travelling and causing guests to incur costs as a result.

Very few people get married in Jan or Feb for precisely that reason - plus it's not as 'romantic'. Most guests will make the effort for people they care for - but as I said upthread it doesn't stop (some, ie those travelling long distances) wishing secretly you weren't holding your wedding at this time of year.

My dsis got married on Christmas Eve! She would. Enough said.

We've had to refuse to go to a wedding the weekend between Xmas and New Year (in Scotland - we are in London)

There is no way we could afford it, I am working all over festive period and I am 8 months pregnant so we couldn't even fly up.

I did think it was a lovely time of year to have a wedding but was slightly taken a back that my London based friends had decided to marry in Scotland [its very expensive and time consuming for their mainly SE based friends and family at a time of year that is traditionally very busy for most people??]

Loads of people get married at Valentines

Do they? Valentines Day is usually the time they decide to get married.

We went to a wedding 3 hrs away (leaving 1 toddler and a baby with my parents) on the 27th Dec which was my 30th birthday too.

I wanted DH to go alone as I had only met the groom once or twice, DH insisted we both go, I was very pissed off with the whole thing and only really knew my husband and another couple who very kindly let us stay with them overnight.

The food was crap and the couple divorced before the year was out.

My sister got married on Boxing Day. I think it's up to the couple and unless given only couple if weeks notice surely you can plan? Christmas is after all on the same date every single year and it really isn't that hard to get everything done well in advance , including making a hair appointment. You can do almost everything online like Christmas shopping, booking hair

I know two people who have got married on 14th Feb recently!

Sorry I mean 2 different couples

it's not great as it's an expensive outlay (clothes, gift, transport, possible overnight stay) at a time of year which is expensive anyway. And certainly for parents, it's at a very busy time where frankly you're grasping at every opportunity to just do nothing.

Fair enough if it's local and a small/informal do, but if it's all singing and dancing and miles away from everyone then I think it's a bit U.