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Original poster

To think that this is the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, ever?

231 replies

zaracharlotte · 14/12/2014 20:50

PIL's staying at ours this weekend. DH and I snuck off to our room whilst PIL were walking the dog.

Turns out, we thought they'd left the house when they hadn't. Cue MIL walking in our bedroom to ask where we keep the poo bags. I was squatting butt naked with DH's knob in my mouth whilst he leaned against the wardrobe.

So yeah, my MIL saw me giving her son a blow job.

Kill me now.

Please can someone cheer me up with your stories? MIL hasn't looked us in the eye since!

OP posts:
CallMeExhausted · 15/12/2014 08:07

But the important question remains... Where do you keep the poo bags?

Spadequeen · 15/12/2014 08:28

I remember getting down to some afternoon sex with an ex whilst camping, I thought we were being quiet but obviously not as whilst dtd we heard the zip opening followed by lots of giggling.

My mum has walking in on me and dh to deliver a morning cup of tea, luckily we were spooning, I don't think she knew but she does seem to knock these days!

And last one, whilst on honeymoon, we decided to have outdoor sex, on the hotel balaconey, checked that no one was around and carried on, again, thinking we were fairly quiet, obviously not as when we'd done we heard the German couple in the room below is saying vas is das?

Original poster
zaracharlotte · 15/12/2014 10:04

But the important question remains... Where do you keep the poo bags?

Under the kitchen sink Grin

OP posts:
rebelfor · 15/12/2014 10:24

Not as bad as yours, Op, but some years ago my sister's boyfriend sent a text message to what he thought was my sister's mobile number but was in fact my parents' home number (where she also lived).

It was my dad who answered the call to the robotic voice announcing that sister's boyfriend couldn't wait to lick her 'cat' that night and various other 'perversions' a father shouldn't be listening to.

I don't think he called or visited again after that Grin

JingleBellSniffer · 15/12/2014 10:24

mortified [fmile]
have nc for mine
I'm 18 and live with DP with his parents. His brother's ex girlfriend walked in on me doing anal with DP. She came in, went about her daily business of getting her clothes (the wardrobe is in our room, it's also a shared room) and walking out.
It didn't help that I blurted: "YES. IT'S FINE. WALK IN WHEN I'M BEING BUTT-RAMMED."
ALSO! the time when i was caught with EXBF in my bedroom at my parents, blindfolded and handcuffed to my bed. It was my little sister who walked in.
The. Shame.

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 10:32

I read your title and thought no, whatever it is, it can't be as embarrassing as the mumsnetter who took off her bikini bottoms before getting in the local swimming pool, floated off on her back, only to have her husband shout 'your minge!' at her

This was before my time, but why did she "take off" her bikini bottoms in a public pool.

Been caught giving OH a BJ years ago, his brother walked into his room (he still lived at home) but my BJ's have never been the full on naked / squatting / leaning against furniture encounters the OP is fond of Grin, it was pretty easy to hide what we were doing. You couldn't see the bed when you open the door so we got away with it!

SoonToBeMrsB · 15/12/2014 10:36

The same thing happened to us in Paris, though thankfully not a member of our immediate family. The cleaner came in while I was giving DP a blow job and got quite an eyeful seeing as I was in the skud with my arse facing her - I'd forgotten to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door Blush

Livvylongpants · 15/12/2014 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoonToBeMrsB · 15/12/2014 11:06

sorry I haven't seen her for a week

Grin
DixieNormas · 15/12/2014 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SayraT · 15/12/2014 11:33

Once (actually twice) when I still lived at home my dad walked in on OH and I having sex.

I was on top and dad walked in, we stopped and I turned round and dad blurted out "do you know where my phone charger is" (I think he was mortified) I shouted "get out of my room!!!" then he shouted back "Don't tell me to get out of a room in my own house!!" and left. OH was still just lying underneath me and we carried on Grin Afterwards I went down and found my dads charger for him and he apologised for not knocking.

My parents are quite laid back, one morning mum said to oh "sounds like you had a good night last night Wink". Grin

OHs parents on the other hand are not, even after 10 years together I am still not allowed to stay over with OH at their house and when we were younger and lived at home I stayed when they were on holiday. When they came back his mum took me aside and gave me a pair of (clean) knickers I had left behind and said "its a good job X (OHs dad) didn't find these". I just laughed and said "thanks, at least they weren't dangling from the lights Grin".

splodgeses · 15/12/2014 11:40

This did make me chuckle.
I have had some very embarrassing situations with my ex dps parents while we lived at their house Blush and I was heavily pregnant. We tried the old wives tales to kick start labour, and we weren't eating hot curry when they walked in our bedroom and as most can imagine dtd at late stages of pregnancy has to be quite imaginative regarding working round the bump
I am off to see if I can find a thread entitled 'Just walked in on son and dil naked, is this the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, ever' The flip-side may make you feel better OP Grin

NorksEnormous · 15/12/2014 11:41

I am crying with laughter at the mil who thought she heard her DS crying in the middle of the night! What on earth were you doing to him?? GrinGrin

WowserBowser · 15/12/2014 11:50

YOUR MINGE

blabla234 · 15/12/2014 11:53

Had to name change for this one! My friend was having sex for the first time around age 18, and his foreskin got stuck too far back. His gf couldn't release it, so he called his mother upstairs-she couldn't do it, so they called a neighbour who happens to be a nurse-she couldn't help, so he had to go to hospital and ended up being circumcised.
As a follow on, when he healed up they tried again - and the gf got pregnant first time.

ChristmasDawndonnaagain · 15/12/2014 12:08

19 years ago, on Easter Monday, small ds fell asleep in his crib. We were sitting in the garden with the monitor having a cuppa. We then decided to nip upstairs and do what adults do on a warm afternoon! We did, we had fun, we even tried a bit of role play!

Ds woke, so dh went to get a cup of tea and I turned on the mobile on the crib whilst I got washed and dressed. Went downstairs to find dh had let best friend neighbour in and was looking very sheepish, and neighbour was literally on the floor pissing herself. We'd left the monitor outside and the people next door were having their annual easter barbecue for the local police force, for whom the chap worked. They never spoke to us again!

ProfessorPickles · 15/12/2014 12:23

I love MN GrinGrinGrin

Mammanat222 · 15/12/2014 12:35

Oh no, poor minge lady!

Bless her, but how the Hell do you manage to do that?

I am 35w with baby number 2 and I have a Hell of lot going on (working FT, just moved house) yet I still manage to put my undies / swimming bottoms on.

confused79 · 15/12/2014 12:38

Pissing myself laughing at the turkey "gobble gobble gobble", and son keeps asking what I'm laughing at Blush

CyclopsBee · 15/12/2014 12:39

I once opened the front door stark bollock naked to my FIL,
DH had just left for work on his bike and literally 2 minutes passed and the doorbell rang, I was just about to get in the shower so assuming DH had forgotten his lunch or something I ran and opened the door (bungalow) only to be confronted by FIL Blush
I screamed and shut the door in his face, grabbed my dressing gown and opened the door again. A very pale FIL wanted to borrow a spanner!
The episode was never mentioned again, DH thought it was hilarious, I don't think FIL ever got his spanner Grin

youarekiddingme · 15/12/2014 12:54

Am crying with laughter - brilliant thread Grin

Mines not too bad in comparison!
Staying for a few days at XDP mum and dad's house we were in the garden having sex in their pool. They were out and came back sooner than we expected. His DBro who was 6yo saw us and ran out screaming "I want to come in the pool, stripped off his t shirt and shoes and jumped in with us" Shock

Luckily he had no idea Grin

UKSky · 15/12/2014 13:30

I think I may just be able to top this, just so you don't feel too bad. I was 19 and DP and I were DTD in his bedroom as his parents were at the pub.

His mother walked in, absolutely pissed at the exact moment of no return for DP. The duvet had hit the floor at some point, so there was no escape. She plonked herself on the end of the bed, and the first thing she said was "I hope you remembered to use a condom", as we are lying there naked just staring at her.

From then on, everytime she went out, she would put a condom on DP's pillow and tell me she had done so.

ithoughtofitfirst · 15/12/2014 13:53

I thought i could handle this thread but the anal story ... fucking hell. Xmas Confused

notenoughwine · 15/12/2014 14:00

PMSL UKSKY She sounds very liberal.

Back when I was a teenager my aunt and uncle came to stay with us for a few days and I had to give up my room for them. It wasn't a problem for me but on their first night staying I decided I wanted a video out of my room and for some reason I just barged right in without knocking and obviously without thinking.

They were sharing my single bed which was directly in view as you walked in the door. He was lying with his pants round his ankles and she was lying next to him holding his erect manhood. I had never seen an erection or a willy with the foreskin pulled back at this point so I was stood there transfixed for about 2 seconds which probably seemed like hours for all involved. I started stammering "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" and slowly backed out the room.

I couldn't look them in the eye the rest of their stay.

ovaryhill · 15/12/2014 14:03

As a teenager, at boyfriends house, his parents left to go for a night out, as soon as they left I set about said boyfriend
He was sitting on the couch and I was kneeling in front of him giving him a blowjob so we didn't hear his father come back in to the house until I heard him give a polite cough
Boyfriend was mortified and jumped up and tried to run to his room but because his jeans were round his ankles he could only waddle like a penguin and then fell flat on his face!
I was hysterical by this point and his
Father said to me 'are you laughing or crying?' 'Laughing' I managed to get out
'That's ok then' he said and turned on his heel and left again