To think that this is the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, ever?

[zaracharlotte]

PIL's staying at ours this weekend. DH and I snuck off to our room whilst PIL were walking the dog.

Turns out, we thought they'd left the house when they hadn't. Cue MIL walking in our bedroom to ask where we keep the poo bags. I was squatting butt naked with DH's knob in my mouth whilst he leaned against the wardrobe.

So yeah, my MIL saw me giving her son a blow job.

Kill me now.

Please can someone cheer me up with your stories? MIL hasn't looked us in the eye since!

OMG DawnDonna!

Mine seem tame compared to these. Boyfriend and I were caught by his dad - me enthusiastically riding him.

Caught by MY dad with another boyfriend - under the covers this time so not so mortifying!

DSS about three catching forty winks so decided to have a quickie. All I can say is thank god we were under the covers as he only asked if he could play hide and seek with us instead of being traumatised for life!

Sorry, but I think I can beat that...

When I was about 14, one night I wasn't feeling very well, and for some reason went in and snuggled up next to my mum in bed for hugs, like I used to when I was a kid. I fell asleep there, and was rudely awoken a couple of hours later by my parents getting on with it centimeters away from where I lay I quietly slunk away, at which point my parents must have realised what had happened. It never got mentioned. They had a super king size bed before anyone asks.

(NC'ed for this!)

NOOOOOOOOO!! christmasconfessions

WHY AM I STILL LINGERING???

Not as bad but, DH (then newish BF) first met my mum when she walked in on him peeing! She just came back downstairs and suggested I show him how to lock the bathroom door. The bolt had broken and been fixed with a tent peg! Dad was quick to fix it after that.

More!

I don't think I've been caught

My mil walked in on us once. But it was all under cover anyway. Dh just popped his head up as if to say 'can i help you?'

More fool her. Knock. Wait for response THEN open door. Numpty.

Oh OP, you poor thing!

Probably the worst thing that has happened to me was my mum finding a rampant rabbit that I bought at uni, and hid on top of my wardrobe when I came home in the summer holidays. Went off to visit a friend for a few days and came home to find she'd tidied my bedroom for me. To my horror, the rabbit was sat in my knicker drawer, in it's own little drawstring bag that my mum must have made for it to live in - I recognised the fabric from her sewing bag. We've never spoken about it and remembering it 8 years later still makes my cheeks flame!

Oh pepper fish, how embarrassing but strangely cute too...

Did you keep the bag?

It was strangely cute to think of my lovely mum finding it, going downstairs and pulling out her sewing machine to make this little bag.

I'd afraid I didn't keep it - as soon as I got back to uni I threw both the rabbit and the bag out as I couldn't bear to look at them, let alone... well, use them.

I honestly don't know what went through her head. Mind you, this is the same woman who, on telling her I'd started my period, presented me with a box of chocolates at the dinner table in front of the whole family. Then sat there grinning like a loon, refusing to say what I'd done to deserve it but couldn't help herself squeak: 'you're a woman now!'. At 14 I was so embarrassed I could have died.

pepper your mum sounds great

Right folks. Settle in. I'm here to make the OP feel better.

Story1:
Before I got married was a real "good girl", forgive the term. This was well known amongst friends and family and so many wink wink nudge nudges about the wedding night. On honeymoon DH convinces me we should take some raunchy photos and course i comply! Think boobs, bum the works!
Anyhooo.... We return from honeymoon and of course the family wants to see our exotic photos... So sitting on the sofa, my mum, dad, me, brother and his brand new first time meeting her gf, two excitable jack Russells and a MASSIVE MASSIVE flat screen telly. Massive.
I make DH PROMISE he knows where the photos are and of course he promises he does and all is well and nothing could possibly go wrong.
You can see where this is going.
So the slideshow begins. Palm trees. Idyllic beaches. Stunning hotel. MY FOO FOO IN ALL ITS BLOODY GLORY!!
Oh you should have seen my father's face. I scream out DH's name in panic, my DB screams in terror, his new gf thinks "what the f@ck will I be marrying into?!" And in the panic DH moves the camera FORWARD, showing my boobs, then my bum, then, by banging every single button on the camera, manages to bring up the screen where all nine photos come up at once. By this stage the noise level of screaming and eye covered is insane, the dogs are barking and going berserk and I'm planning my divorce. DH finally yanks the cord out of the telly and the screen goes black.
DM says, breaking the awkward silence..."Well weren't those beaches pretty?"

I wanted to die. And we still had another week with them all at the beach house.

Part two to follow after I've dished up the shepherd's pie.

Settles into comfy armchair and gets

Ooh I'm intrigued Goalie

This thread is brilliant. I feel boring, I have no stories like this! Many embarrassing moments but nothing like these

bigfatgoalie
Oh my, I am sitting here crying with laughter! Oh the tears! Thank you for sharing!!

Jesus Christ Goalie I'm clenched in utter horror on your behalf.

My MIL walked in on me going down on DH a few years ago. I only found out when she got pissed last year and mentioned it.

DH had totally clocked her opening the door (he was facing it), at the time...

.....nine years ago....

bigfatgoalie
well aren't those beaches pretty

Crying! Your story is better than the OP's!

Crying...DH asking if I'm okay as he puts DD to bed.
Cough....

My step daughter walked in on DH and I, and then said oh so that's what mummy and step daddy do when they won't let me in....

My Bil and his girlfriend caught DH and I running naked upstairs after some activity in pil's hall way, we heard them coming and ran - but not fast enough. I'd only met the girlfriend once before. They've never mentioned it since.

Not my story, although would love to steal it!

My friend and her ex boyfriend were getting frisky on the ferries at home. These are massive ferries which shuttle you from mainland to Islands, and for whatever stupid reason, you are NOT allowed to stay on the car deck during transit.

They decided to stay in the car so she could give him a blow job. So there they are in the back seat, her on her knees, his cock in her mouth... When they hear rapping on the window. Ferry guy telling them they are not allowed to be on the car deck.

Apparently her bloke at the time just said "don't move your mouth don't move your mouth" as she otherwise would have had, well, even more egg on her face!

Whoopsie!

Right.
F@ck My Life Part 2:

8 years after SlideShow Terror, had moved to England, and my DM and DF had come to stay. For my birthday they were staying at home to babysit so DH and friends could go out to get arse-faced for dinner.

Now, imagine small house, open plan downstairs leading straight up to the landing and both bedroom doors, my parents staying in one room.

We return home at about 3:30am, rough as a pair of badger's arsses, "of COURSE they'll be asleep, it's almost 4am!" very very very drunk and in obvious need of some hanky panky. We proceed to christen the kitchen counter, floor, both sofas all the while I'm thinking "look at me! I'm having quiet sex! "

After we had finished our frolicking we tiptoe upstairs to see my DM's bedroom door open (had to listen for the baby...) and we hear "Did you two have fun?"

Uuhhhh.. Aren't those beaches pretty Mum?

What makes it even MORE mortifying was that it was filthy sex. Like seriously. Had to make sure half the kitchen utensils got dishwashered.
Lord alone knows what she heard.
Oh the shame.

Feeling better yet OP?

Thanks ScrumpyBetty!
Do I get a prize?

I'm crying!

I need brain bleach @ kitchen utensils and seriously dirty sex why didn't you dm just keep stum?