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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that this is the most embarrassing thing to happen to anyone, ever?

231 replies

zaracharlotte · 14/12/2014 20:50

PIL's staying at ours this weekend. DH and I snuck off to our room whilst PIL were walking the dog.

Turns out, we thought they'd left the house when they hadn't. Cue MIL walking in our bedroom to ask where we keep the poo bags. I was squatting butt naked with DH's knob in my mouth whilst he leaned against the wardrobe.

So yeah, my MIL saw me giving her son a blow job.

Kill me now.

Please can someone cheer me up with your stories? MIL hasn't looked us in the eye since!

OP posts:
ThePonyFormerlyKnownAsTony · 14/12/2014 23:43

My friend was indulging in a bit of solo-loving but apparently fell asleep (perhaps he's not very skilled in the wanking department), woke up... cock in hand, porn still playing... Tea and biscuits next to him which his mum had generously left for him during his snooze.

But.. It's not quite as bad as being caught with a mouthful of cock by the mil.

It'll be a lovely story for a wedding anniversary/birthday one day Grin

321zerobaby · 14/12/2014 23:54

I read your title and thought no, whatever it is, it can't be as embarrassing as the mumsnetter who took off her bikini bottoms before getting in the local swimming pool, floated off on her back, only to have her husband shout 'your minge!' at her. Or perhaps not as embarrassing as the mums netter who donned her swimming costume late one night, then decided to put a surf board in her loft, only getting jammed and having to be rescued by the fire brigade.

But now I have read the rest, you are totally right, it has got to be the most embarrassing thing ever. I bloody love mumsnet Grin

AWholeLottaNosy · 14/12/2014 23:54

I only just realised what 'poo bags' were. Smile

< misses point of thread >

NetworkGuy · 15/12/2014 00:01

a lovely story for ... birthday

I'll never forget the day you were conceived, MiL came into our bedroom to ask where I kept the tea bags, and there I was, on top of your father and the duvet had slid off my back onto the floor.

I was shouting "Yes! Yes! Yes!" as your father spanked my bum and I shook my boobs in his face. We didn't know she was there as she was directly behind me, but after I stopped shrieking, she repeated the question about the tea bags...

Blush
SomethingOnce · 15/12/2014 00:20

Of course there are more embarrassing things.

Er, not really.

I feel like we ought to have an MN whip-round to pay for therapy for the OP.

Trunkisareshite · 15/12/2014 00:27

ThePony, I think your friends made that up- it's one of those stories that does the rounds in many friendship groups. Can't think what the name for it is.

ItsaboatJack · 15/12/2014 00:28

Squatting - kudos to your thigh muscles!

Not nearly as embarrassing but, a few years ago while I was abroad I sent a tit shot to my dh. I didn't delete the photo after, and a few weeks later at a big family party my dsil's dad (not my fil, thankfully she was my bil's wife) had my phone, I forget why, but he found the photo. Luckily we were all a bit drunk by that point so were able to laugh it off there and then, and all pretend the next time we met that none of us remembered anything.

Triooooooooooo · 15/12/2014 00:30

My shakey toys collection hit a workman on the head, an 8 inch fake cock ended the display by standing upright on the carpet.

But my shame didn't end there, oh no. Feeling sullied I gathered the lot into one of the many, plastic bin bags I was filling and lobbing out of my bedroom window, all well and good until the following day aforementioned fake cock was spotted by do on the arms of a robosapien.

We think someone had either been rooting and placed it as a joke or the bag split and it landed that way.

debbriana · 15/12/2014 00:41

This is so funny

debbriana · 15/12/2014 00:45

At list she now knows her son is taken care off.

notenoughwine · 15/12/2014 00:51

What's the story behind this Triooo?

Sounds hilarious.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 15/12/2014 00:51

Trunkisareshite, it's called an urban myth. That wanking/cup of tea by the bed one was doing the rounds when I was a teenager.

anothernumberone · 15/12/2014 00:53

I do remember an ex of mine has his childhood bf's mother over to visit from another country for a weekend. He was on his absolute best behaviour showed her all the appropriate sites etc. She left and he took a notion to do some manual stress relief aka have a wank. There he was with the Vaseline and his manhood in his hand when she popped back in because she had forgotten something. I never laughed do much as when he told the story......... Until now that is. You definitely win hands down.

anothernumberone · 15/12/2014 00:53

Bf is best friend

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 15/12/2014 00:56

Not sex related but I was once 'miming to Madonna' in front of the mirror to find a rather bemused road digger watching me through the window. I hit the floor and crawled to the back room on all fours and then was too embarrassed to leave my house!

Poor you OP!

notenoughwine · 15/12/2014 00:56

Yeah, the cup of tea story is definitely an urban legend. I've been hearing it for years.

I don't know why they would have to make up an urban legend about it though, having grown up with a brother I would assume all boys get caught wanking anyway.

cakedup · 15/12/2014 00:59

I remember a thread where a mumsnetter went to send a naughty nude photo of herself to her dh....and sent it to her fil instead.

ithoughtofitfirst · 15/12/2014 02:08

MN whip-round Xmas Grin

perthmom · 15/12/2014 02:17

I dived gracefully into the swimming pool at a family party and emerged without my bikini top. Our whole family saw and my young nephew found my top.
Pales in comparison to your story, OP!

Babiecakes11 · 15/12/2014 02:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bulbasaur · 15/12/2014 05:28

MIL had a habit of knocking while opening DH's bedroom door when we first met. We were DTD, one time and she quickly shut it. She tried making me feel better by telling me not to worry because she had the same bits.

She just called his cell phone after that when she needed something. Grin

Andrewofgg · 15/12/2014 05:58

It's a cold wet dismal morning and I'm on the bus to work.

And I am PMSL about this.

A million thanks!

KarinMurphy · 15/12/2014 06:35

About 30 years ago I was living during the week with my BF (now DH) and his Mum. She had a friend staying for the weekend, a lovely lady, spinster school teacher, who had our room, while we slept on the sofa-bed in the living room. Her and MIL went out for the day and we had a lie in and then got down to a bit of recreational bonking. I was stark naked, bouncing up and down on his knob, when this maiden aunt type friend walks in and just stands, staring in horror at us. I had to gently suggest that she leave the room. Blush We hid until she had left and it was never mentioned again... until last week when she told the story to our 18 and 20 year old sons! BlushBlushGrin

Islander79 · 15/12/2014 06:52

Just snorted on the train - grumpy commuters looking perplexed! Cheers OP Grin

Mrsstarlord · 15/12/2014 07:05

Have had a shite few weeks and not been sleeping well. Had 8 minutes sleep since 2.30 and feeling miserable till I read this - can't imagine the circumstances but had to wake DH to tell him the 'your minge!' Story. Thank you for this thread OP Grin