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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you don't do Santa/ Elf in the shelf you don't spoil it for others?

301 replies

CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 08:42

Last year Dneice was told matter of factly by a 4yo at school there is no such thing as Father Christmas and it's your parents. In reception.

This year another child has told her that you can buy an EOTS from Amazon, because her mum has shown her it.

Why? Why would you do that? Why not say there are only a few elves that get to leave the North Pole and we didn't get one?

Or if your child wants one that badly get a cheap one from the pound shop

Grrr Angry

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 09/12/2014 08:48

YABU to ask us to keep quiet/collude. In this case, it is not us doing the telling.

CorporateRockWhore · 09/12/2014 08:50

I agree about Santa but that Elf nonsense is just stupid. I don't feel the need to keep that a state secret!

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 08:51

There are plenty of people that use MN that don't do either though, so I thought I might be able to preempt someone.

Just makes me sad. (And cross)

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 09/12/2014 08:52

So you are asking us to lie to our children in order to prevent them possibly revealing the truth to your children?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 09/12/2014 08:54

Fair enough about Santa, but a small child might forget or not know or fully understand that they aren't supposed to tell anyone. (they're only 4!) so I wouldn't blame the parents unless you knew it was them.

The elf is a load of very expensive bollocks. It's not happening in the vast majority of houses.

schoolclosed · 09/12/2014 08:55

My six year old has figured out that Santa is pretend partly, I admit, because I don't try very hard, but I've asked her not to tell and continued with the game 'for fun'. But she came home in tears because her best friend kept telling her that people who don't believe in Santa don't get any presents. Xmas Angry My lovely little girl didn't blab, but did need a lot of reassurance that she would be getting presents and that not believing in Santa didn't make her "bad". So - in return for my consideration, please show me yours and stop telling little kids that they won't get any presents if they fail to play your stupid imaginary game. And breathe.

MarjorieMelon · 09/12/2014 08:55

What is elf on the shelf?

ProbablyMe · 09/12/2014 08:55

CatWreathKeith - I agree with you, it's really mean spirited. Some people seem to take the attitude that just because they think something is daft that it gives them the right to ruin it for someone else. Childhood is brief and the magic doesn't last long and the mean, real world will present itself soon enough.

Vvvoom · 09/12/2014 08:56

I actually don't understand the elf in a shelf thing - have only seen it mentioned in mumsnet. So I'd tell my kids it was something Americans do to celebrate Christmas - certainly wouldn't be telling them that only lucky kids get elves and they weren't among them.

What is it all about anyway?

InfinitySeven · 09/12/2014 08:56

Realistically, that wouldn't work.

Who is going to tell their presumably quite young child that some families get an elf, but they don't? They'll want to know why. It suggests that they weren't good enough, etc.

I wouldn't purposely spoil anything to do with Christmas for anyone, and I don't yet have children, but you can't ask people to collude in a big lie so that your children are protected. For a start, even people who do encourage their children tell different stories.

I get that you're sad, but what you are asking for isn't realistic, or possible.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/12/2014 08:57

Well said probablyme.

MehsMum · 09/12/2014 08:58

I always told my lot, once they had sussed Father Christmas, not to spoil it for other children. Including their younger siblings.

But Elf on the Shelf... sheesh, I didn't even know that existed until about a month ago. In deference to the OP, I will keep my cynical views on it to myself...

MaximumVolume · 09/12/2014 08:59

Like Marjorie, I don't really know what Elf on a Shelf is if it isn't simply a Christmas ornament that sits on a shelf!

HowMuchMoreWee · 09/12/2014 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

schoolclosed · 09/12/2014 09:02

Probablyme and arethereany - do you mean the real world where little kids get told they won't get any presents because they figured out the truth? Xmas Angry

Honestly, shit like this makes me want to tell DD to blab all over the playground just to get it over with.

WizardOfToss · 09/12/2014 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ContentedSidewinder · 09/12/2014 09:04

Surely this is a simple as respecting another person's way of celebrating Christmas. Why would anyone want to spoil another person's Christmas is beyond me.

skylark2 · 09/12/2014 09:05

I think an established tradition is a bit different from this year's piece of overpriced trendy commercial tat.

Why would you not tell your child, if they asked, what "elf on the shelf" is? Yes, it was a family tradition for the woman who wrote the book - but what she did with it was to turn it into a moneymaking opportunity. Then she wrote a sequel for birthdays to keep the cash rolling in.

Yuck.

MaidOfStars · 09/12/2014 09:06

Surely this is a simple as respecting another person's way of celebrating Christmas. Why would anyone want to spoil another person's Christmas is beyond me

How you think anyone can police their 4-year old in order to ensure they NEVER tell about your way is beyond me.

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 09:11

It's not that new, we've had one since dd was 6mo. So that's 3 years.

Because when dsis found £80 in an account that our gran had opened for her as a child she wanted to spend it on something that the dc would treasure for more than 5 minutes, so got one for dd and one for my nieces.

Ok, eots isn't for everyone, but to go to the lengths of showing it to a 5yo on Amazon is a bit harsh surely?

And I am definitely not being unreasonable about Father Christmas. Am I?

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 09/12/2014 09:13

Someone explain the elf thing, please?

ghostspirit · 09/12/2014 09:13

I told my 4 year old father xmas is fake. she dont believe me. probably because we call a male friend of mine father xmas. also she see father xmas wave to her when we were passing on the bus. kids will believe if they want to. i wont tell my kids dont say this or that. if my child was to tell another child father xmas is not true and the child repeated to their mum/dad then its up to them to deal with it. some believe some dont. some people believe in god some dont

SquattingNeville · 09/12/2014 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dorasee · 09/12/2014 09:17

F*cking hate elf on the shelf. Mensch on the bench... that's my guy. No seriously, the elf on the shelf is so fecking stupid I can't handle it. Brings out the right Grinch in me.

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 09:19

Elf on the shelf:

Little scout elves turn up on the 1st December, often with an advent calendar.

They fly back to the North Pole each night and report to Santa whether dc have been good.

Then they come back an make mischief, eg do snow angels in your flour or decorate the Christmas tree with dc's underwear. And are in a different place each morning.

Dc mustn't touch them otherwise the mafia disappears and they can't fly back. and the dc will realise they are just toys

On the 24th they piss off back home..

OP posts: