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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you don't do Santa/ Elf in the shelf you don't spoil it for others?

301 replies

CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 08:42

Last year Dneice was told matter of factly by a 4yo at school there is no such thing as Father Christmas and it's your parents. In reception.

This year another child has told her that you can buy an EOTS from Amazon, because her mum has shown her it.

Why? Why would you do that? Why not say there are only a few elves that get to leave the North Pole and we didn't get one?

Or if your child wants one that badly get a cheap one from the pound shop

Grrr Angry

OP posts:
NancyRaygun · 09/12/2014 09:19

It is so blimmin mean to diss anyone else's Christmas traditions but kids are sticklers for accuracy aren't they - especially once they feel they 'know' something grown up.

We still completely believe in Santa in this house, not even a whisper that he might not be real. But then we still believe that Justin and Mr Tumble are two separate people.

I don't like the elf on the shelf thing though, i think it is creepy and odd. But I wouldn't ruin it for anyone else.

TimelyNameChangey · 09/12/2014 09:20

Re the elf thing. I have NO idea about the mythology attached to the things....I thought they were just toys of some kind. Are they meant to be real? I've also shown my children them online...described them as ornaments!

TimelyNameChangey · 09/12/2014 09:21

Cat it's quite cute but it's so far fetched! Do the DC imagine the dolls come alive at night then?

TalesOfTheCity · 09/12/2014 09:21

Agree with squattingneville

I had no idea what Elf of the Shelf was until I googled it a few minutes ago.

Having read about it, no I wouldn't collude with it. I wouldn't tell a small child who believed it "Oh, it's nonsense", but I think it's a horrible idea and I'd change the subject ASAP.

WizardOfToss · 09/12/2014 09:21

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickenMe · 09/12/2014 09:23

Not into the elf. Money making. Next thing the elf will have a dog who stands in for him then the dog will have a flea for when Fido is feeling tired..I wouldn't comment on it in front of a young child though.

skylark2 · 09/12/2014 09:23

"Ok, eots isn't for everyone, but to go to the lengths of showing it to a 5yo on Amazon is a bit harsh surely?"

I don't think so, actually. I think it's important for kids to learn that Christmas isn't about commercialism and "must have"s defined by others. This isn't something that she shared online and which other people have taken up - it's something she aggressively marketed and which costs far more than you'd expect for what it is. It's a perfect example of the sort of thing which I would tell my kids that Christmas isn't about.

YANBU about Father Christmas - but complaining about parents telling their kids that EOTS is a commercial product is like complaining about parents telling their kids that you can buy bikes in shops as well as asking Father Christmas for them.

Tinkerball · 09/12/2014 09:24

Never heard of elf on the shelf. I find it sad when other kids spoil Santa for other kids to but it's not something that can be stopped. Everyone I know does Santa and incredibly my 11 year d DS still believed last year which was lovely. It's magical and part of Christmas and only on MN do I read of people who don't do Santa. And no I'm not saying Christmas can't be magical without Santa either before I get jumped on for that. I find it really sad to that anyone can think of Santa as a "stupid imaginary game."

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 09:24

Yes, they believe they come alive at night.

It is far fetched, but lots of fun, and possibly no more unbelievable than a big fat man pulled around the round the entire world in one night with a billion present in a sleigh pulled by reindeer....GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
TimelyNameChangey · 09/12/2014 09:24

Sky you're assuming a lot there. I suppose the child and Mother were browsing together...I do with my children.

Bumbiscuits · 09/12/2014 09:26

While we do the Santa thing with our kids I don't expect others who don't want to do it to ask their kids to lie.

Everyone finds out through their friends at school, pretty much. When they're still gullible little you can say their friend is mistaken or make up another excuse.

This really is a non-problem.

EOTS is plain stupid and creepy.

HowMuchMoreWee · 09/12/2014 09:27

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ghostspirit · 09/12/2014 09:28

elf on the shelf comes alive at night. bit creepy

MrsCaptainReynolds · 09/12/2014 09:28

If you choose to lie to your children about something, anything...santa, EOTS, religion (taught as fact), the tooth fairy, whatever, it's up to you to plan for other people/children not keeping up the lie. It's extremely precious to expect other people (outside of your own family) to maintain your lies.

I'm not all bah humbug, we do Santa but in a relaxed fun way, more like a game we play at Xmas. That way there's no risk of a big unwanted reveal and my DC can believe/imagine as much as they want to.

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 09:29

Ok, I will accept that iabu with regards to the Elf (you don't have to buy the official one btw, any stuffed toy will do)

But I still think Father Christmas is perfectly reasonable.

Perhaps tell kids that 'know' that if you don't believe your parents get your presents, but if you believe in Father Christmas he will bring you one.

I only ever got one present from 'Santa' - the rest were labelled from mum and dad, which seems very sensible to me.

OP posts:
Pantone363 · 09/12/2014 09:30

I don't get the vitriol for eots. Odd, weird, rubbish, creepy...it's clearly something some DC enjoy and some families enjoy doing for their DC.

Why on earth would it bother you so much?

BertieBotts · 09/12/2014 09:31

I find this whole thing a bit precious, TBH. The idea that the santa thing can be "ruined". We used to get told that he's only real as long as you believe in him, when you stop believing, he won't be real. Similar to the messages we got about fairies, magic, all kinds of things.

Children tend to believe what they believe - you don't get religious parents going round getting cross because somebody has told their child that God is just a story, because to them God is very much real no matter what anybody says and their children tend to hold the same views as well.

I don't get why people get precious over Santa. (We do santa and I don't go around telling random children he's not real, I just don't get it.)

NewEraNewMindset · 09/12/2014 09:31

I have to agree that if you stopped elaborating on something that was already perfectly magical and exciting enough - Santa, and importing American traditions like elves, north pole breakfasts etc, other children wouldn't feel left out and would be less likely to spill the beans.

I grew up with too much magic quite honestly. I genuinely thought that I was going to live in a toadstool when i grew up, I believed in Santa till I was about 10 and really really thought that the good guys always won. Real life was frankly quite upsetting when I got out there and saw the realities.

So I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do with my two year old next year. I imagine I will probably go with Santa bring real for a bit but I'm not convinced about all the test if the schizzle.

What I would like DS to realise is that presents get bought with actual money that is earned by Daddy (currently) and not picked off trees by some fat bloke with a beard and delivered according to how 'good' he has been.

SaucyJack · 09/12/2014 09:32

"Ok, eots isn't for everyone, but to go to the lengths of showing it to a 5yo on Amazon is a bit harsh surely?"

Harsh?! To show them that you can buy something on Amazon?

Sweet baby Jesus.

You do know FC is made up don't you?

GettingJiggyWithIt · 09/12/2014 09:32

I got a much prettier elf for a fraction of the official one.
she was named Elfina by my youngest and plays no tricks whatsoever.
She simply sits on a chest of drawers staring. I see you. What a grass.
But Dd loves her because I have been saying she is reporting back the good stuff.
Elf Sits On Her Arse doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
Arthur Xmas is an awful movie which causes more questions than anything else.
As for Santa mine are told if you believe in magic Santa comes but for those that don't their parents step up. That said mine is just a glorified postman in any case. Thankfully mine have not yet questioned why I am buying gifts to 'send to Santa' just for him to bring them back again.

MaryWestmacott · 09/12/2014 09:35

To be honest, EOTS is relatively new, I have a nearly 5 year old, this year is the first year I've heard of anyone doing it round here, not just on MN (where I've been hearing about it for years!). It's not widely done, whereas virtually all DCs and their parents will have 'done' Father Christmas/santa traditions.

EOTS might be one those traditions that stick and become widespread, it might be like halloween and people saying "it's a new American import" every year, followed by lots of 30 and 40 somethings saying "I did it as a child" - EOTS is a minority thing that most people don't want to add as an extra 'job' every day in advent.

you have a 3 year old, ask round pre-school, how many families are doing EOTS, then ask how many have told their DCs about Father Christmas, you've got a much better chance of keeping the Father Christmas tradition than EOTS.

quietlysuggests · 09/12/2014 09:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CatWreathkeith · 09/12/2014 09:35

I quite like 'Elf that sits on her arse' personally.Grin

OP posts:
SquattingNeville · 09/12/2014 09:42

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SANTABankWadgerHAT · 09/12/2014 09:43

Next you'll be telling me not to tell my children that God doesn't exist because one of them might tell their friends. Confused

As I'll play the Santa game as long as my children want, but honestly it will be a relief when it stops because I hate him. BUT I wouldn't encourage them to ruin it for others either.

The fact of the matter is just like adults little kids believe different things, at different times and sometimes this results in others being disappointed. Deal with and move on.