Muslim mums at our school don't mix with non-Muslim mums

[Vanillacrescents]

There are a large number of mums wearing headscarves who are obviously Muslim at our school. They only talk to each other. Whenever I greet these mums, they don't greet back but prefer to talk to each other. In fact they look the other way. The other day I was first at the school gate and a younger Muslim mum was also waiting. I managed to have a friendly chat with her but the minute another Muslim mum arrived they only acknowledged each other talking in their own language and blanked me.

Yesterday ds fell off his scooter because he tried not to collide with one of these mums as she wasn't paying attention, looking away waving at her friends. Ds fell over and landed in front of her feet. He scraped his knee and started crying however this woman didn't say a word to him or smile at him.
I helped ds up right in front of her and still not a kind word or smile. Instead she gave me a really dirty look and tried to stare me down. I just don't get this attitude and feel it is unpleasant and segregating. I will always greet people regardless of their race, religion, taste in clothes or whatever and treat them with basic respect and be polite. It almost feels like these mums look down on everyone who isn't part of their community.

he Muslim Mothers at my DC school are very friendly and mix well with us non Muslims. So I think what you have there OP is a generic clique...regardless of religion.

Ok,maybe it is just at our school then.

Maybe they can sense your racism and want nothing to do with it.

Cheap shot.

The amount of cliquey white British mums at my daughters school is ridiculous.

You are DEFINITELY nbu. Rudeness is rudeness whatever headgear you wear.
Friendly overtures deserve a friendly response.
Why call racism?
Unbelievable. Or maybe not.

Also. I tend to gravitate towards mums of children with additional needs in most social situations, because, well, I feel more comfortable I suppose.

I also gravitate more towards people who like rock music and look a bit... Unique. I don't know why. I have nothing against anyone else, it's just a natural thing I think.

Have you tried greeting them in their language?

So am I bu in thinking that reverse racism exists and that parts of the Muslim community look down on white people as 'not worthy'.

Also. I tend to gravitate towards mums of children with additional needs in most social situations, because, well, I feel more comfortable I suppose.

But is this to they exclusion of everybody else? Do you blank all the other mums?

So am I bu in thinking that reverse racism exists and that parts of the Muslim community look down on white people as 'not worthy'.
Oh there we go......

It does exist, but people choose to turn a blind eye to it.

No. that's my reverse racism. It is also just racism. There will be as many racist people is whatever race because some humans are dicks.

Also, being a Muslim is not a race

I may start a jester's hat clique ...

So am I bu in thinking that reverse racism exists and that parts of the Muslim community look down on white people as 'not worthy'.

Interesting question.

are they foreign as well as muslim? perhaps they just dont speak english and feel shy. there are mums like this at our school. years later and after english classes they are friendly and chatty. if they only arrived in the uk a few years ago it can be v daunting, esp if there is not much socialising outside the house. depends where they come from/cultural background rather than religion

all schools have cliquey mums anyway, all races n religions

Some Muslims are white.

Attitcus. Can I be in your clique?

To answer your question OP, I don't know if I blank other mums, if in deep in conversation about how shit the new local paediatrician is I might not notice someone smiling at me.

There's no such thing as reverse racism. Just racism. Which as already pointed out is everywhere.

they just dont speak english and feel shy.

This could be the case. The playground can be an unfriendly, cliquey place at the best of times.
How much more difficult if you can't speak the language?

Vanillacrescents posted:

"however I sense a massive clique mentality from these mums purely based on whether someone is part of their community or not."

and

"parts of the Muslim community look down on white people as 'not worthy'."

How do you "sense" these things if you are not actually talking to the people involved? Are these your projections, or do they have some basis in actual statements?

I don't know about this but DC1 has just started school and I am quite surprised at how the schoolyard groups of mums are very clearly divided into racial/religious cliques the only exception being a black guy who is married to a white woman who chats to the white friends of his wife. it is interesting especially because I have no sense of the children following through with this (presumably if parents friendships have followed racial/religious communality they have largely been introduced to preschool playmates from that group) and they are making much more diverse friendship groups in school. Makes for limited playdates though.

YANBU

Their behaviour is incredibly rude and anti-social

But then again, that is exactly how the British mums in Spain act!

How would you feel if a non-headscarf wearing woman was unkind to your DC on their scooter? Surely you wouldn't taint all Christians (for example) with the same brush? I come across unfriendly cliques in the playground made up of all different religions/race. I think you're allowing your prejudice to cloud your judgement here. Some people are just unfriendly, it's really nothing to do with religion or race! And if some of these ladies gravitate towards others who speak the same language...isn't that just what we'd all do in a country where there are a few other people who speak our language?

DN is at a school were unfortunetly the Muslim women won't interact with non Muslim society, it because such a issue that the school had to become involved and a meeting held to discuss why these woman weren't allowed to mix with others. after it was made clear why these woman weren't allowed, people respected them and gave them their space,

It seems to be a common theme at a lot of schools then.
Op has asked a valid question.

are they foreign as well as muslim? perhaps they just dont speak english and feel shy. there are mums like this at our school. years later and after english classes they are friendly and chatty. if they only arrived in the uk a few years ago it can be v daunting, esp if there is not much socialising outside the house. depends where they come from/cultural background rather than religion

I would completely understand this. I usually approach any mum with a friendly and warm attitude. But being involved in a near collision with a child and ignoring that child but giving mum a dirty look is pretty rude. I felt she treated us with contempt. That is how I read the situation. That's the 'vibe' I picked up.

I just want to realise that iabu on this thread because I would find such an attitude too depressing. Maybe it's because I try and treat any individual with respect that I get thrown by this mentality. I don't like other cliquey behaviour either but in this case it does feel like it's a Muslim/non-Muslim segregating.