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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start a TAAT? Do you have decent sex?

130 replies

feelingunsupported · 14/11/2014 00:55

Sorry -TAAT!
I've been reading the 'how often do you have sex?' thread.

The variation is massive and I'm jealous of those having it more than me but only if they're having decent sex!

Dp and I don't have a very good sex life atm - infrequent and unadventurous but we're hoping to sort it out.

Sooo - regardless of frequency, do you have good sex or does everyone eventually fall into the 'quick fiddle then piv routine? '

Sorry to be crude - just wondering what 'normal' is!

OP posts:
KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 14/11/2014 01:12

I love sex.

DP is filthy and will do anything I ask. Into quite a bit of stuff I expect would be wildy dissapproved of.

Quite like doing it outdoors. Woods, hills, quiet areas. No desire to be caught although it has happened.

Original poster
feelingunsupported · 14/11/2014 01:15

I used to do that! I was much more adventurous in my early twenties than I am now Blush and dp is quite reserved :-(

OP posts:
Celestria · 14/11/2014 01:22

My dp has been on antidepressants the last couple of months and his sex drive has gone awol Sad would far rather he is feeling better though! I'm terrible, I'd happily shag his brains out all day long. He does it for me Smile

drbonnieblossman · 14/11/2014 01:32

We enjoy using toys, phone sex, role play etc. the anticipation of what my OH is going to do to me when he gets home is very arousing.

Watching eachother wanking works for us too.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 14/11/2014 01:36

I never gor the hang of phone sex.

I have Asperger's and everything I say sounds a bit expressionless, even if I really mean it. And I'm not one for small talk. Or any kind of talking really.

I don't think phone sex with me would be a very satisfying experience.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 14/11/2014 01:38

I like the idea of The Furies.

Not so much the sex bit. Just dressing up as a bunny and drinking tea in the woods.

Sex would be fine. But it wouldn't be the highlight of the experience.

BitchesGetStuffDone · 14/11/2014 01:44

These days we have great sex. Amazing, even. I learned to ask for what I want and enjoy and let my partner focus on me instead of making it all about him. I had my first 4 orgasms from oral a couple of days ago, something I thought would never happen. I thought I didn't even like receiving it. Shock Blush

BOFster · 14/11/2014 02:15

You won't get a cross-section of women, or even of MNers, by asking this though. You will only get people desperate to show off a bit, either from novelty and enthusiasm, or from over-compensating insecurity. Or you'll get people who are unhappy and frustrated who appreciate the chance to vent because your thread title chimes with them due to their dissatisfaction.

What you really need to to do is talk to your partner.

Thumbwitch · 14/11/2014 02:23

No it's not decent sex and it has a direct impact on how much of it we have. I have tried to diplomatically discuss it with DH but tbh it's very difficult - he has tried to listen but in all honesty I've reached the "lie back and think of England and get it over with" stage now.

nooka · 14/11/2014 02:23

I'm not frustrated or wanting to show off, just at a loose end :) dh and I have been together for a very long time (almost 25 yrs now good times and bad including two years of separation) and currently sex is infrequent but when it happens very enjoyable. Not particularly adventurous, but not 'quick fiddle and then PIV' either.

The best sex we had was when we were separated and getting back together again. The worst was probably the year after dd was born when there was lots of resentment between us.

For me sex has become much more enjoyable as I've got older, for dh possibly the reverse, as he's not very happy with his physical form so is much less confident at the moment.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 14/11/2014 02:28

I'm not frustrated or showing off either.

It's 2am and I can't sleep and only a few threads are on the go!

Grin

And if I was showing off I probably wouldn't mention being shit at phone sex or wanting to drink tea in the woods...

Winterbells · 14/11/2014 02:30

I think lots of adults are capable of having a discussion about sex with out doing any of those things, BOF. Even if they did what is wrong with that? Are people not allowed to talk about good sex that they have had or vent if they are frustrated? I think it's good to be open about it and since many people can't be like that in real life then we turn to anonymous forums. At least on MN we are relatively safe from pervert trolls.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 14/11/2014 02:32

Oooo, I've just worked out what PIV means!

Blush

I feel sexier as I've got older too. Was very insecure when I was younger. Feel better now as a size 14 with stretch marks and crows feet than I did as a size 10 and unblemished.

Weird, isn't it?

BOFster · 14/11/2014 03:18

"At least on MN we are relatively safe from pervert trolls."

Oh, you sweet sweet girl Grin.

Yes though, fair enough, I certainly don't mean to imply that everyone who responds to threads like this falls into the categories I mentioned. I really should have included c) game late-nighters with few thread options prepared to shoot the breeze Grin.

It still does not a realistic statistical sample make.

overslept · 14/11/2014 03:34

I'm filthy, I like everything. I mean everything. I still love emotional sex that makes you feel connected but it makes it all the more special if the rest of the time its... Erm... I wouldn't even say on here.

Basically Anything goes. Last night we had sex twice, I came about 8 times and him twice. In the morning as soon as we woke up we went again. He is awesome. I usually come about 12 times per session depending on how tired I am, but it can be a lot more. I don't have sex when on my period by my own choice, that week I do blow jobs mostly. Sometimes anal but I like that period or no period.

I love sex, I really really love it. I would say I'm a sex addict but I would never cheat. I have this strange thing where I'm fine without until I meet somebody who drives me wild. I'm not the most experiences either, only 2 sexual partners. I can only find one person sexually attractive at a time, I'm not sure why.

crawls into a corner to die from embarrassment

purplemurple1 · 14/11/2014 04:32

We enjoy it, both orgasm everytime, try out diff positions, and locations etc, but a one yr old and being 7 months preg means it's less frequent and quicker than it use to be. But I'm assuming that's the norm and will change as the babies get older.
So I grade us a C - good but room for improvement Wink

Celestria · 14/11/2014 05:36

I'm frustrated! GrinBlush

HouseBaelish · 14/11/2014 09:10

Actually right now its amazing Grin

Totally mind-blowing - we seem to get each other that way, which is a major surprise to us both as we've been friends for an age.

(sorry sis Blush)

Original poster
feelingunsupported · 14/11/2014 20:20

house I'm jealous!

OP posts:
gatewalker · 14/11/2014 20:25

I do. Currently with myself. Grin

DontGotoRoehampton · 14/11/2014 20:28

what is PIV?
And TAAT?

Original poster
feelingunsupported · 14/11/2014 20:31

Penis in vagina Blush

Thread about a thread

OP posts:
EmilyGilmore · 14/11/2014 20:33

I usually come about 12 times per session depending on how tired I am

Oh I get you. I used to be good for a dozen orgasms a night too but if I've over-exerted myself at Gymboree in the day, you can cut that down to well below 10.

Hmm
MollyHooper · 14/11/2014 21:13

Twelve kacking times? Depending on how tired you are?! I'm knackered just thinking about it.

Where do people find the time? Honestly.

LokiBear · 14/11/2014 21:24

I've had the worst week at work and this thread has really cheered me up. I love my DH. I think we have a mix of amazing sex and quickies that get the job done, er, quickly. The over riding thing for me is that, even though sometimes our sex life wanes, I love him, find him very sexy and feel very confident and secure with him. I think what I am trying to say is that for me, swinging from chandeliers isn't what makes the sex great. It's all of the emotional loveliness that comes from being content and happy generally. Puke inducing. Sorry.