to start a TAAT? Do you have decent sex?

[feelingunsupported]

Sorry -TAAT!
I've been reading the 'how often do you have sex?' thread.

The variation is massive and I'm jealous of those having it more than me but only if they're having decent sex!

Dp and I don't have a very good sex life atm - infrequent and unadventurous but we're hoping to sort it out.

Sooo - regardless of frequency, do you have good sex or does everyone eventually fall into the 'quick fiddle then piv routine? '

Sorry to be crude - just wondering what 'normal' is!

I dont think it is obvious at all. I don't think a bad sex life can be blamed entirely on one person most of the time. When one person has no interest at all in sex, then there is very little you can do, but where there is interest, it is down to both people to make it good.
Comparability is mostly down to sex drive and preferences. Technique can be taught and learnt. Most people don't teach. Hinting isn't enough.

Like Buildsite, dp and I rarely have full piv, it's mainly hands and oral (for him, I don't like it myself), toys and general teen-style fondling! It's fucking brilliant. We don't live together so do it at least once a day when he stays, plus lunchtimes and the odd sneaky morning, so average of 5-6 times a week.

I always have several orgasms and he insists that we concentrate on me before he will even think about finishing himself. Only after I've had a massive can't-take-any-more screaming orgasm will he let me get on with sorting him out.

The main factor for me is not feeling any pressure, so he will whisper "take your time" and "we've got all night, I'm going to carry on doing this for at least an hour" if he senses I'm tensing up. He's a bloody angel and I think he should do seminars or something!

I'm taking wine idea in the morning

Ahem - night away last night = bingo! Dragged each other back to the hotel early and erm... enjoyed the facilities!

You played bingo then used the mini-bar, ordered room service, and pressed your trousers? Very sexy.

Lol tiggy dp has carpet burns! [Blush]

Carpet burns? What was the carpet like? All bristly nylon? You would have been better off with a nice deep shag.

I just spat my coffee over the keyboard at Carpet burns? What was the carpet like? All bristly nylon? You would have been better off with a nice deep shag.

Gileswithachainsaw, 2 brothers but both spoken for and one a total pleb apparently

I have a question and I'm wondering if it is related to the amount of orgasms or just that I'm a lazy cow. After a particularly good session, if left to it I can sleep for about 12 hours! I really struggle to get up, anybody else get this?

I always have the best sleep after a food session over!

Damn

Food?? I meant good haha!

I can have about 15 orgasms in an hour. we do all sorts and we're completely and utterly filthy, but its hard living in a house with his parents and brothers. (too poor to move out ) I think that it will get better when we can afford to get our own little place. the stuff I'm into he attends to nicely, my libido is 100x stronger than his is, and given the chance I could just be laying there about 6 times a day haha! he's amazing in bed and we get up to things people would find really strange. I'm into femdom and we're still dabbling in that but we don't have the time, privacy or means to try BDSM, which I love. I love being told what to do in the bedroom. aaaaaah

First day on Mumsnet solidussnake you kinky devil

I used to be a right filth bag and throughly enjoyed really dirty adventurous sex.

Now me and DP just have very vanilla sex. It's very emotional, lovely and he is very very attentive and he always makes sure I come. But I do hanker after a bit of raw passion and filth.

That said though - when i was having the filthy sex, the blokes were tossers that I'm better off without.

So whilst my sex life is no longer about swinging from chandelier- it's very frequent - usually 3-4 times a week nearly every week and I get a lot of attention and I always come.

Can't argue with that but miss the filth

I think you can have filth, passion and emotional connection all at the same time.
Sometimes DH and I will have gentle vanilla sex and it is lovely. Other times it is intensely passionate. Most of the time, however, we absolutely love the filth. There is something so liberating about knowing what you like and going for it.

I found it hard to look dp in the eye on Sunday morning though - first non vanilla sex we've had in 2 years!

When we do anything that we haven't done for a while, DP will often bring it up the next day if we are alone, in a nice/sexy way. I have to give him the "I was there as well you know, I haven't forgotten" look .

Do any of you think a genetic factor is involved with how much pleasure you get from sex? I'm really open about things in real life with my family/friends and have spoken to my mother before who enjoys sex as much as I do. This is TMI but she also told me when she got to 32 she started to female ejaculate, the first time it happened she thought she pee'd herself! I'm 26 and it has never happened to me, I'm dreading it to be honest!

Just read that back and it reads as though on her 32nd birthday she began to orgasm uncontrollably, that isn't what happened, you know what I mean

emily I'm a serial namechanger ;)

Bloody hell over my mum never even told me about the birds and the bees!

We're in the 'good' category. Don't get much (see other thread!) but when we do go for it it is worth the wait.

Hmmm - no action since the one off on Saturday hopefully just because he's being a man boy staying up late playing bloody Call of Duty

We talked about spicing things up a bit 'mid sesh' on Saturday but not mentioned it since. ..

We don't live together so frequency is only over 1-2 days a week. Usually about 3-4 times each day though when we are together.

Me and DP come from different sexual backgrounds. I was 14 the first time I had sex and was with this ex until I was nearly 22, having lived together most of that time and also had 2 DCs. So same partner but chance to develop and try lots of different things.

DP didn't have sex until he was 17 (we are now both 24) but has had around 9 partners - most being short casual relationships or ONS bar one actual relationship.

So when we got together I tended to instigate the more adventurous kinds of sex, whereas he opened my eyes to new techniques

He gave me my first PIV orgasm and now I find it so easy to orgasm each time we have sex. It varies from sweet and emotional to raw and passionate and downright filthy. It's never boring.

Overslept I am probably over sharing now but you really do not need to be worried about ejaculation. It is an amazing addition to the orgasm and your partner will most likely take it as a personal compliment. If you are worried about it you will always hold a little bit back during sex and that would be a shame.

I can't believe how varied sex is between couples! Bizzare!

Feelingunsupported - since you started this thread me and DH have agreed to "date night" once a week just to ensure we actually make the effort to do the do otherwise it'll never happen. I mentioned before that we are in the "good but infrequent" category and I want that to change to good and often. Maybe you could suggest the same especially on the back of your good weekend last weekend??

All it means is going to bed together a bit earlier one night per week and spending some intimate time, not necessarily PIV, maybe massage etc. I think it'll be up to me to keep this arrangement up but hopefully it'll become second nature! Probably sounds boring and unspontaneous to some but needs must!!