To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

[WhizzpopWhizzBang]

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are

Well, if you really think it is a good idea to put turkey in a foil dish in the microwave, then good luck.

I'd obviously take it out of the foil first, I'm not THAT daft

As 4/5 of the people at the meal enjoy the turkey, why is the whole meal about what DH wants? he is the sole vegetarian and yet he's insisting on a veggie meal he knows his mother doesn't want, so much so that she goes to the time, trouble and expense of buying, preparing, cooking, carving and then placing in a foil dish to bring for everyone else to enjoy. He is coming across as really selfish.

Thats a very good point.......

I said I don't mind either way if we have turkey or not. I eat meat, but I'm not a huge meat eater. I like both veggie and non veggie stuff equally.
I accept that MIL likes turkey, so the turkey stays as it's practically unanimous that a completely vegetarian meal would be wrong at Christmas if there's meat eaters round.

Fishocrite pescatarian here, with vegetarian dh, one vegetarian dc & two carnivores, plus assorted meat-eating in-laws for Xmas dinner.

Don't fanny about with bits of sliced turkey in a tray. Cook an actual turkey/crown/chicken/joint of something, in one oven (we did one of those three bird roasts last year - sounds disgusting to me, but came in its own tray, was no bother & all meat-eaters enjoyed it).

Anything else that needs cooking for ages goes in other oven.

when meat is cooked, remove, & put somewhere out of the way of any cats, covered with foil & an old towel. That oven is now free for anything else that needs to go in. Meat will stay hot for at least an hour because it is a big hunk not little slices.

OK, if no-one but MIL wants to eat it for Xmas dinner, there will be loads of leftovers, but if only dh is actually veggie I'm sure you'll manage to use it up...

Yep Raven's idea is good.

Oh bum sorry about thread skimming and missing the microwave bit.

Here you go OP - this kind of thing. We did it last year with a red cabbage reduction type thing which was lovely - really strong and aromatic. So rich, goes excellently with the traditional Xmas veg, roasties etc. Much preferred by all!

www.joanransley.co.uk/2013/12/recipes-for-unexpected-christmas.html

Ooh thanks castlemilk - will have to try making that,it looks and sounds gorgeous!

Oooh that looks good. wonder if it'd travel uncooked. we're visiting the carniverous in-laws this year & I've said I'll bring a veggie thing - bit bored with my staple chestnut risotto filo pie.

Have you got a slow cooker?
She/you could put her Turkey crown into that the night before and cook over night. It will just stay hot. No getting in your way. Then the veggies happy, meat eaters happy, no using the oven additionally

I'm not sure people get that when your veggie (im vegan) that your not going to eat something that has been cooked in the same oven at the same time as meat. Cooking a turkey at the same time in the same oven as all your lovely veggie food is going to contaminate your veggie meal. I'm amazed that people think chistmas is just about slaughtering and consuming a dead animal!

People are telling the OP that she needs some Christmas joy but what's joyful about basing your meal on a dead carcas?! We don't have any animal products in this house so there is no way I would do this but as your meat eaters I would go for the microwave option. Maybe your DP wants your family to enjoy a meat free Christmas to help him celebrate his befelif, especially as he is doing all the cooking.

So no I don't think your being unreasonable but I am very passionate about animal crulety and this is purely my view

Or do what maddy68 said, that's a good idea

kitten how is cooking meat in a sealed bag/ dish going to contaminate veggie stuff?? Particularly if the veggie stuff is sealed too

Janethegirl why would veggie stuff be sealed in the oven? Most veg are cooked on a baking tray. The turkey isn't sealed it's wrapped in foil, that's not sealed, the juices will be in the oven.

The turkey could be cooked in a roastabag within a foil tent and no juices would escape.

Open roast veggies could be in the other oven.

If the OP wanted to solve the problem, it is entirely possible to do so. 1 out of 5 is veggie, so why should the veggie rule everything?

IMO it's all about control. Shame as it's his mum that will suffer.

YABU.

The person doing all of the cooking is veggie that's why they want a veggie meal, he should never be expected to cook something he doesn't believe in. How is not eating meat with one meal suffering?!! That's a hilarious word to use considering what the turkey she wants to eat went through!

If you can cook meat in a plastic tent (seriously is microwaving gonna be alll that different) then yes that's not going to contaminate the veggie meal but has any one thought perhaps the op just wants a veggie meal? Just because there are 4 regular meat eaters doesn't mean they all actually want to eat meat that day. Seems the ops DP has had to compromise most Christmas an this time doesn't want to, I don't see how that is wrong.

Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"

As you can see, some think you'd be unreasonable, some think you wouldn't, some have tried to offer compromises.

I think you should say your piece about 'we're only cooking vegetarian stuff this Christmas' and how her turkey 'isn't getting cooked again when you get here' ONLY so long as you think you can look back afterwards feeling quite happy about it all and how it was handled.

Maybe you'd think 'yes, we dealt with that just right'. I think I'd look back and wince and think 'god that was a bit mean of us, surely we could have somehow found a way to let her warm up her bit of turkey in the oven??' Only you can know.

Haven't read the whole thread but YABU to have anything Quorn near your Christmas table, it it utterly minging and I say that as an ex-vegetarian. There are so may far more tasty vegetarian recipes out there

If you are going to let her bring turkey in a foil tray (and thank goodness you are if the rest of you are eating Quorn) then just ask her to hand it over when she arrives and your husband will sort it. I'm not sure why all the fuss really.

A considerate person cooks things their guests will enjoy. So a non-vegetarian cooks vegetarian dishes for vegetarian guests - even if they are not going to eat them. It's courteous not to give your guests food they don't like.

But in this instance the one vegetarian person in a household gets to dictate the whole meal and far from providing an alternative for his mother, refuses to let her heat up the turkey meal she is generously providing and which her DIL and GC eat?

Christmas for this lady clearly means turkey - and there is nothing wrong with that. Why should she be denied a simple request to heat up food that four out of the five people present want to eat? She isn't asking that her DS "contaminates" himself, merely that a foil-covered dish be popped into one of the two ovens available.

The op was all about messing up cooking times and getting in the way of the dh. Which I'm sure she doesn't anyway.

Also the family deals with meat in the kitchen at other times. Just be kind and don't make poor mil pre-cook her own Christmas dinner for the microwave.

I do think you are over reacting. She is opening the oven once to put in a small foil tray of already cooked turkey to heat up for a few minutes.

You need this

Don't put the foil tray in a microwave.

Perhaps something like this might help www.coopersofstortford.co.uk/src/gbase/coopers-of-stortford-6-litre-mini-oven-grill-and-toaster-prodst08354i/?gclid=CKeguo_77cECFebItAodbyoAiQ
Seems quite cheap, and could also come in handy for emergencies or when you don't want to use the full oven. I'm sure there are other similar appliances as well.

I'm a vegan, the only one in my family. My partner is vegetarian but eats vegan food except the few times he cooks for himself. When we go to my folks' house for Christmas I do normally make a nut roast or something similar (not quorn, that's nasty) the evening before and microwave it at lunchtime the next day, because my mum is in charge of co-ordinating Christmas dinner so I don't get to mess up the finely calibrated order of cooking things. When going to any other family member I just suck it up and eat the naturally vegan bits - thankfully my family and inlaws aren't big on goose fat potatoes or similar pitfalls. I hate cooking even a normal roast dinner (have to sometimes as my partner likes them and he washes my pants most days) because it's all faffy timing the different things to be ready at once rather than something raw and something else cremated, so I can imagine how irritating it would be to have anyone want to add something extra just because they can't bring themselves to try what's already on offer. (To the person who said 'be prepared for her to ask DH to try her turkey' I assume OP's husband spent the first few years of his life doing just that before deciding to stop...)

Tl:dr version, YANBU unless MIL has a nut or soy allergy you haven't mentioned, even then why would she want to eat out of the oven these things have been in.

One more quick thought though - is it that she objects to particular things you are offering, or is it actually that she insists on meat every meal? FIL prefers not to eat soy and I find it kind of stressy having dairy milk splashing around the place when he's here, but I did find out on his last visit that he was ok with trying almond and other plant milks.

I get that there can be an issue with "contamination" of veg food by meat.
But Im struggling to see that as the issue here. DH is the only vegetarian in his family of four. His Dm also is not vegetarian.
So i am imagining a fAir mix of meat and veg food cooked during the course of a regular week.
The "problem" as explained by the OP is the opening of the oven and disruption of the meal timing.

On Christmas day there are often approximately seventy two separate dishes being cooked in our two ovens. A bit of juggling and planning required to accommodate the different temperatures and timings and everyone is happy and a bit fat

Does he do a lot of the day to day cooking? Does the mixing of foods normally bother him?

72??
Wow, that's impressive, Amanda. Sounds like you'd be able to give DH lots of advice on how to achieve a happy outcome for everyone.