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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

209 replies

WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 22:09

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are Smile

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 22:52

So is she opening ovens and putting turkeys and whatnot in to warm up or putting a foil tray in the oven?

SanityClause · 08/11/2014 22:53

Why not ask her to give your DH the turkey, and he will pop it in the oven at a convenient time?

Or, better yet, tell her you will cater for her Turkey dinner - there is no need for her to bring it, at all.

If she was a vegetarian, would you expect her to bring her own lunch? Of course not. So, why not cater for everyone, on Christmas bloody Day FFS.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 22:55

I don't know where the idea that it's 'not remotely about the turkey' but about 'control' comes from: the woman is hardly alone in liking hot turkey for Christmas lunch, is she?

Next year I'll tell my brother we are having a meat lunch, and he should be grateful for what we are providing but can make a table decoration if he wishes! Would make my life a whole lot easier!

Fabulous46 · 08/11/2014 22:56

Can she not just give the pre cooked turkey in the foil tray to DH to put in the oven to reheat?

Monathevampire1 · 08/11/2014 22:57

DH is a veggie and the problem is his mum. He needs to tell her no meat or cold meat. It's not your problem

SoonToBeSix · 08/11/2014 22:59

You are being not only unreasonable but also ridiculous. It's not a whole turkey clogging up your oven it's a small foil try. Don't be so mean, it is Christmas.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 22:59

DH is a veggie and the problem is his mum. He needs to tell her no meat or cold meat. It's not your problem

For god's sake! It is actually Christmas, and she is actually his mother, and it is actually quite normal to like hot meat at Christmas lunch! Whatever happened to being a good host?

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 23:00

Also despite the oh so yummy trimmings made of meat substitute, OP has said that she likes and eats MIL's infuriating turkey!

Mehitabel6 · 08/11/2014 23:01

It is no big deal. I regularly have to cater for a vegan for Christmas dinner, it is a bit inconvenient but I manage it without making them feel awkward. I can quite see that someone would be upset to miss their traditional turkey. I can't se the difference. You have over a month to work out how to manage it!

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 23:03

So is she opening ovens and putting turkeys and whatnot in to warm up or putting a foil tray in the oven?

She's opening the oven up to put a foil tray of turkey in amongst all the veggie stuff.

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 08/11/2014 23:03

Exactly TheOriginalSteamingNit. I would hate to be at some people's houses for Christmas - they are completely lacking in Christmas spirit!

MidniteScribbler · 08/11/2014 23:04

Is a small covered foil tray in the oven really your biggest issue? Honestly, I think you sound ridiculous. She cooks it at home, then sticks it in the oven to reheat when she arrives. Seems like common sense to me.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 23:04

So not multiple turkeys and multiple oven doors or any 'whatnot'? Just warming up her foil tray?

Bakeoffcakes · 08/11/2014 23:08

Is the problem space on the oven. I can imagine if you're cooking nut roast and all the trimmings, that there isn't another shelf for the turkey?

Bakeoffcakes · 08/11/2014 23:08

in

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 23:10

So not multiple turkeys and multiple oven doors or any 'whatnot'? Just warming up her foil tray?

It's a big foil tray with lots of turkey on. Both ovens are filled with vegetarian roast, stuffing, roast potatoes, parsnips, sprouts, pigs in blankets etc,
Where's the turkey supposed to go?!
I'm not veggie myself, but can appreciate that veggies don't always want a turkey squished up against their Quorn roast.
Oven doors opening and shutting to accommodate a late coming turkey can mess with cooking too..

OP posts:
Letthemtalk · 08/11/2014 23:11

Yanbu having a veggie Christmas meal. However yab unbelievably u even thinking about having a bloody quorn roast. At least cook something edible!

Letthemtalk · 08/11/2014 23:13

And if you do insist on quorn roast just stick the horrible thing in the microwave.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 23:13

Yeah, but it's in the nature of Christmas lunch. Our ovens will be at full capacity, the last half hour will be stuff wrapped in foil staying warm piled upon other stuff in foil... It's how it is. I think it's mean and poor hosting to say she has to have her turkey cold because you need all the oven space for your parsnips and stuff.

Especially as you're going to eat the poor woman's turkey when it's on the table

Xmasbaby11 · 08/11/2014 23:16

yabu - it's only one foil tray. I'm sure you can accommodate it and it doesn't matter if it's in the same oven as veggie good.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 23:16

And it's not 'a late coming turkey', it's some bits of meat, already cooked, on a tray, which you know about in advance, wanting warming up. Not 2 kilos of raw meat needing to be cooked to perfection. A foil tray of cooked meat.

Xmasbaby11 · 08/11/2014 23:16

food, not good!

puntasticusername · 08/11/2014 23:16

Whoever said MIL has to have her turkey cold?

Momagain1 · 08/11/2014 23:17

Whatever schedule it is on, she does this EVERY YEAR and her son needs to schedule turkey warming time, and tell his DM when she can come in to re-heat it, or just take over the heating of it for her.

No matter how warm it was when she left her house, unless she lives next door, it will be nicer if reheated before serving. The problem isn't that it is turkey, the problem is that she helpfully but obliviously tries to deal with it entirely on her own. Her barging in would be a problem if she was contributing another veg dish! She is bothering him more by trying to be no trouble at all, than if the two of them cooperated.

Jolleigh · 08/11/2014 23:17

Personally, I'd have a word and get her to let your DH reheat it so that he can consider it with his timings.

If I were having a vegetarian to a dinner party I was hosting, I'd provide them with a hot meal, not say they can either bring their own and eat it cold or have what everyone else is having.