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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

209 replies

WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 22:09

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are Smile

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 09:49

You are right - it is only one day.
Which just happens to be a day that most people in the UK associate with having turkey on. Not quorn or nutroast.

You've invited MIL, knowing she dislikes the dishes your DH wants to eat and don't even want to allow her to heat up the food she has cooked for herself because her hosts won't accommodate her preference. He's hogging the oven with the things he wants to eat and ignoring his guest. And the fact that everyone bar DH then tucks into the turkey is rather telling.

*Are people really that obsessed with meat? It's only one day."
Well, exactly. It is only one day, so in the interests of being a good host, why doesn't DH drop his "obsession" with vegetables and eat meat for that one day? Or doesn't that seem reasonable?

Cut back on the size of the veggie option and you will have space for the turkey that everyone else in the family except DH is going to eat.

indigo18 · 09/11/2014 09:53

But you said she does cook it and bring it over !!!
And you said you enjoy eating it!!!
I DREAD being a MIL, especially at Christmas, if wanting a bit of turkey re-heated causes stress six weeks in advance.
Quorn roast sounds shit, by the way, and I never understand veggie sausages; if you don't eat meat, why eat crap made to look like meat?

Gaia81 · 09/11/2014 09:54

See I would have no problem having a well thought out vegetarian Christmas meal at someone's house but if it just consisted of the meat bits being replaced by pseudo meat I'd be less impressed. Vegetarian cooking can be great but not when it only means replacing meat with meat substitutes imo.

fatlazymummy · 09/11/2014 09:54

bakeoffcakes I am a vegetarian, and I find that attitude a bit silly, TBH. Especially as the rest of the family aren't vegetarian and his guest isn't either.And presumably it isn't just 'his' kitchen either.

Mehitabel6 · 09/11/2014 09:55

I eat lots of vegetarian meals - I have at least 6 vegetarian cook books. Christmas Day is the one day that I don't want one.
Since DH is the only vegetarian in the family his oven must hold a lot of 'dead animals' over the year ( better than a live one!)
People do get over dramatic.

SanityClause · 09/11/2014 09:56

What's your issue, really? Are you trying to get anti-vegetarian comments? Because no one is giving them. Okay, some have expressed dislike of quorn roast, but then, I am not a vegetarian, but I do dislike turkey, so by the same token, being anti quorn isn't the same as being anti-vegetarian.

It's not that people are obsessed with meat. Our family eats a lot of vegetarian meals, and if I went to a strict vegetarian household, or had strict vegetarian people over, I would expect to eat only vegetarian food. But you're not a strict vegetarian household. 2/3 of you eat meat.

Anyway, why don't you broach it with your MIL. Not dressed up as what a nuisance she is wanting to use the oven, Hmm but that you would like her to try your vegetarian food, rather than thinking she has to bring her own.

I do think Christmas is a special meal for most people, though, and your MIL may well feel that it isn't as special without turkey. So be prepared for her answer to be "no".

Mehitabel6 · 09/11/2014 09:56

I am witH you there Gaia81- I can never understand meat substitutes when there are lovely non meat items to cook with.

MarshaBrady · 09/11/2014 09:57

The op says that the dc and her aren't vegetarians, so they eat meat at home? If the dh can deal with that it can't be too bad to cook the turkey.

And why make it sound so difficult, put it in the oven and take it out.

SanityClause · 09/11/2014 09:59

I never understand veggie sausages; if you don't eat meat, why eat crap made to look like meat?

I couldn't agree more. Vegetables have their own wonderful flavours. Why try to imitate meat? Confused

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 10:00

The op says that the dc and her aren't vegetarians, so they eat meat at home?

Not very often. If I do it's meals in the slow cooker such as beef stew or whatever. Not in the main oven.

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 10:00

Just wondering why anyone would a guest for a meal and then give them food they know the guest does not like? that is so unwelcoming and the lastest "issues" about allowing MI to reheat the food she's had to provide for herself is so ungracious. I hope you can see that this sends a very clear signal that your MIL is not welcome, whether or not that is true.

One vegetarian and four non-vegetarians, yet the whole meal has to be vegetarian? That sounds really unbalanced and al about one person, ignoring the needs/wants of the rest of the family. Why can't you have real pigs in blankets and vegetarian ones? A small nut roast and a turkey? And stuffing that everyone can eat? Plus the normal veggies and roast potatoes.

FunkyBoldRibena · 09/11/2014 10:03

Quorn roast sounds shit, by the way, and I never understand veggie sausages; if you don't eat meat, why eat crap made to look like meat?

Indigo. Sausages do not look like meat. They are ground up bits of meat and other things, made into sausage shapes. Are you saying that people who do not eat meat are not allowed to roll out food in a sausage shape? Really?

Because I've tried to mould my veggie food into other shapes, but sausages and burger shapes really are the easiest to make.

FunkyBoldRibena · 09/11/2014 10:04

Incidentally, meat sausages are more likely to have crap and shit in them than veggie ones. Just saying.

RufusTheReindeer · 09/11/2014 10:04

Happy to agree that Quorn is something of nothing

But I don't get the "I've tried nut roast" comments

There are hundreds of recipes all of which can have different textures and tastes...just because you have tried one doesn't mean that all of them are shite

It's a bit like someone saying I tried turkey once and then saying they wouldn't eat any bird cooked any different way

And for the record I've only had a vegi main course that I wanted twice at Christmas (a beautiful mushroom and nut "Wellington"), because I either get something easy that can fit round the meat dish or I just eat the veg

But then roast dinner for me is all about the toast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and gravy (not even fussed about the vegetables)

SanityClause · 09/11/2014 10:05

And why make it sound so difficult, put it in the oven and take it out.

Uh huh. Not that tricky at all. Particularly if it's someone you care about, and want them to have a lovely Christmas meal that they will enjoy.

OP, why don't you save cooking vegetarian food for MIL for meals that are less "loaded" than Christmas dinner. You never know, she might find quorn roast so delicious Hmm that she is happy to have it for Christmas dinner next year.

Janethegirl · 09/11/2014 10:11

OP, you have 2 ovens, surely one can be designated for the turkey?

Or as ppl have suggested, use the bottom of an oven and cover the turkey......then no chance of any "contamination".

CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 09/11/2014 10:20

I see you've graciously conceded YWBU but out of interest, do you like MIL? Just because I got the impression that she irritates you, so I wonder if that was leading your initial "no turkey" stance.

Roussette · 09/11/2014 10:21

OP you say Really don't see the problem with cooking it at your own house though and bringing it over! That's what your MIL wants to do! And yet you or your DH (or both of you!) doesn't want her to do even that! I think your MIL sounds like she is bending over backwards but you both are determined to force quorn on her.

FWIW I absolutely love vegetarian food - Yotam Ottolenghi's books are my bible - however, Chrismas Day lunch is special, for goodness sake let your MIL have her turkey. She's not even asking you to cook it! She is going to a lot of trouble to cook it herself and bring it over (which is a pain in the arse - do hope she hasn't a long journey) and all she wants is to shove it in the oven. You keep going on about opening and closing oven doors, but it sounds to me like she is doing her best to please your family and you are having none of it.

MardyBra · 09/11/2014 10:22

Pigs in blanket are all about the taste of pork fat. There is no substitute for sizzling pig flesh imo.

indigo18 · 09/11/2014 10:24

Funky the OP specifically referred to vegetarian pigs in blankets; I do understand that sausage shapes can be made out of many foods, but it does rather sound as though they are replicating, well ... meat sausages wrapped in bacon. And yes, I am well aware that many meat sausages are full of crap. ( I just don't buy those.)

FluffyMcnuffy · 09/11/2014 10:25

Your DH sounds quite selfish since you, your children and your MIL all like Turkey Confused. Why does it have to be all about him?

YABVU to object to a covered Turkey going in the oven to heat up (which you then usually eat some of?).

If I was hosting someone for Christmas and I knew they didn't like turkey, I'd provide something else. You don't sound like a very good host.

AuntySib · 09/11/2014 10:27

Double foil, wrap in newspaper and then towels, retains heat for ages.

ceres · 09/11/2014 10:30

Pear potter - I was responding to the op and the situation she described. She clearly states her dh prepares a full veggie Christmas dinner, they have two ovens and her mil brings a foil tray of Turkey.

you are right in that I don't have any difficulty in preparing Christmas dinner. However it is clear that op's dh also has no difficulty in cooking.....and also has two ovens.

No need for the aggressive post.

Catsmamma · 09/11/2014 10:32

Have you all been eating MILs turkey in previous years...that must be why she brings so much.

If your veggie dh is cooking then I think fair enough he can be in charge of the oven and I can see that a WHOLE tray of turkey is a faff to reheat last minute

So I would suggest you tell her to bring enough for herself only and the rest of you can revel in your fake meat

OR

Tell dh to plan properly, I can't see that your average Quorn/Nut Roast is going to want anymore than 40 minutes in the oven, so there's not a reason in the world he cannot get a turkey crown cooked before he fills the oven with his stuff. The Turkey Crown will be fine resting in a foil tent and be a lot less dry than reheated/nuked from the MILs

I managed to cook beef, pork and a turkey crown, plus all the trimmings and I only have a very old range with a small oven/plate warmer oven.

BadLad · 09/11/2014 10:33

That''s a weird way of looking at it! And who said it's fallen to me? I said WE were thinking of a veggie Christmas and saying no meat. Not me.

I've posted some AIBU's in the past, and some of the people who responded completely misunderstood what I was thinking. For example on a thread about not wanting to babysit my nephews, someone wrote that they thought I just didn't want to spend any time with them.

They were wide of the mark, but it was useful because it made me concerned that my sister-in-law might get the same impression.

Therefore I posted who your post came across to me, and I'm not alone as someone else has asked since then whether you actually like your mother-in-law.