To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

[WhizzpopWhizzBang]

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are

You can insist on a veggie Christmas.
But you don't want one. You just don't want your mil to open your oven.
If your Dh has a problem with a turkey being next to his Quorn roast (yuck, ten years as a vegetarian and never succumbed to that horror) then he needs to address that with her.

I think the most appropriate solution would be to reconsider the timings of the meal. Maybe cook a turkey crown as part of the whole meal?
Or put the turkey in slices in the microwave in a ceramic container (never plastic) to heat up.

Before its heated t should have been cooked and quickly chilled. If warm ish turkey is being reheated inn your oven every year Im surprised nobody has been struck with food poisoning.

I'd try and be accommodating. It's a nice thing to do for your mil. Especially as you all (bar dh) eat it.

How far is your mil travelling? And how long in advance of eating?

My mother always made her traditional stuffing when doing Christmas lunch because we all loved it. When my gran - her mil - came she was very surprised that my mum hadn't made her traditional stuffing as fir her it wasn't Christmas without it - however my gran and grandad were the only ones that ate it and enjoyed it (the rest of us had to have a token spoonful to force down).

So she would make it at her house in a dish, cook it, put foil over the top, wrap it in a newspaper and then wrap the whole lot in a large towel.

They would the come straight over to us and it would stay wrapped up like that in a warm place until needed and it would be fine. They would arrive maybe 30-60 minutes before eating usually.

If they were going to my aunt's for Christmas lunch she would do the same but as they lived further away she would sit the hot pan on a hot water bottle between the paper and towel layers to provide extra warmth and it would last with no problems.

Although there's probably some food safety expert spinning about this nobody ever got food poisoning (it ws a meat based stuffing) and was something considered squire normal - when my gran was growing up it was very common in the village she lived in to take your meat down to the bakehouse to cook, popping down half an hour before the end to pour the Yorkshire pudding batter around the meat, then bringing it home once it was cooked, wrapped in newspaper albeit with a bit of greaseproof paper on top instead of foil.

If your mil did this, and took the turkey tray out of her oven, straight onto the foil which was sitting on the newspaper which was sitting on the towel then wrapped up within moments of it coming out of the oven it would stay warm for a long time and wouldn't need to go into the oven when it got to your house - or if it did, a minute in the microwave would be all it needed and it wouldn't suffer from feeling like it had bees microwaved.

I can see why your dh would get upset - I'm not veggie but I don't like fish and occasionally I've been places at mil's where she has cooked a meat dish and a fish dish in the oven at the same time. And the meat dish is horrid because it has an air of fishiness about it that spoils the taste of the meat. And she just doesn't notice it as she likes fish and meat and is having both on her plate anyway. But for me - tastes vile. I'm sure that a veggie would similarly taste the turkey-ness on the veggies cooked in the same oven.

But he normally does a traditional meal plus veggie options.
So why cant he accommodate a tiny foil tray?

Sorry OP, but you and your DH are being very unreasonable.
Unless your DH has suddenly become a more strict vegetarian, your MIL will not understand why it's a problem to have meat in the oven with veg when she's done it several years in a row.
It's hardly an out-of-the-blue inconvenience when you're posting about it in November!
If the issue is that she brings a tray that's too large, and/or that she invades the kitchen, then pick out one of your own trays (or buy a foil one) and leave space for it in the oven. When she arrives, whisk the tray out of her hands and tell her you'll take care of it. Settle her down with the GC and a glass of sherry. Transfer turkey to more appropriately sized tray and cover well.
Sorted!

I don't usually reply to AIBU threads (although I love reading them!) but unfortunately I think YABU. Christmas comes but once a year. Let's keep your MIL happy and heat up her turkey. I know Christmas dinner can be stressful but that's just part of christmas.

Having a grandparent over for Christmas is a special thing for both you and your husband but especially for your children, it won't happen forever after all. You could upset or embarrass your MIL over what seems to be a trivial issue. Lots of posters have made good suggestions to overcome any cross contamination of meat juices and veggies.

YANBU - I do Xmas dinner completely gluten-free (coeliacs in family) and wouldn't really want someone bringing bread sauce because they couldn't do without it.

But, in the interests of family peace I would probably find a way of incorporating it that didn't add extra stress (for me, primarily the stress of cross-contamination, since I'm too stretched to police everything, and other people aren't careful enough).

Tbh, as long as the turkey's already been cooked, it doesn't need to be hot, just room temperature, and the gravy will make it taste hot.

I find it a bit baffling that a person would begrudge their family a space in their oven for ten minutes on Christmas day. It's hardly a hardship is it?

I don't understand how you can have two ovens, be only cooking for your immediate family plus MIL and not have any space in either oven?

Am I right, you have 2 ovens, yet you (or your husband) still find it too inconvenenient to reheat one tray of already cooked meat? I have one oven, yet I still manage to cook meat and a vegetarian meal on christmas day. It isn't that difficult. And I'm the vegetarian, but I still cook meat for the people who enjoy it. Why wouldn't I?
Yeah, you're being unreasonable.

So, one vegetarian gets to dictate to four non-vegetarians who all enjoy eating turkey and in fact do eat turkey on Christmas day, kindly cooked by MIL?

DH is being unreasonable. He can find other ways of cooking his veg outside the oven or pre-cook them and then reheat in the microwave leaving enough space in the oven for the foil covered dish of turkey that everyone else is going to tuck into.

Or he can recognise that most of his family prefer to eat turkey on Christmas Day and scale back the vegetarian menu in light of this. He's not considering anybody else except himself.

It sounds as if MIL does not enjoy the vegetarian alternatives he offers and so it's very inconsiderate of him not to take account of this - she is his guest! Bet he'd be miffed if visiting a non-veggie house and they refused to allow him to pop a tray with quorn/nut roast etc into their oven. Poor MIL - she's being forced to cater for herself and now even that is an issue.

It's one of those threads where I'm not quite sure why the OP asked if she was BU.

OP: AIBU.
Majority: yes you are
OP: no I'm not.

Stop wasting our fucking time then.

Well I would be mightily hacked off if I turned up on Christmas Day to quorn or nut roast (and yes I have tried both) and decided to be no trouble and bring a foil tray of turkey and my DD wouldn't even let me put it in the oven for fear of contamination! You are BU.

As someone else said, imagine if your DH as a vegetarian turned up at his MIL's with a nut roast in a tray and your MIL made it awkward for him to put it in the oven. There would be an outcry! Some people just don't like quorn and I am one of them, I would miss my meat on Christmas Day.

Another one here who would probably cry if the family Christmas dinner consisted on quorn and roast nuts.

And this: "vegetarian cocktail sausages, and wrap them in veggie bacon slices."

Please tell me this is a joke... what exactly is the point of being a vegetarian if you have to imitate meat in order to get a proper meal?

Veggie bacon slices? Really???

Move some of the trays up and pop the turkey tray in the bottom of the oven. Job done. No meaty juices will go astray. Keep the foil loosely over the top. Simples.

I am a veggie for 30 years, have no oven (only a remoska) and yet still manage to feed meat eaters when they are here. You just have to plan it in.

And this: "vegetarian cocktail sausages, and wrap them in veggie bacon slices. Please tell me this is a joke... what exactly is the point of being a vegetarian if you have to imitate meat in order to get a proper meal?

Yes it is a joke. Hahaha. Got ya.

Of course, if you really think sausages are the shape that pigs come in, the joke is on you, no?

Some of the views on here are bonkers. I would accommodate a vegetarian on Christmas Day yet vegetarians don't want to accommodate a meat eater? Why should someone who really enjoys their turkey be deprived of that on Christmas Day? Not everyone likes fake meat like quorn.

And yet somehow it has fallen to you to tell his mother that she can't cook her turkey at your house. It reads as if you don't like her very much and want to have this little victory in some sort of point-scoring exercise.

That''s a weird way of looking at it! And who said it's fallen to me? I said WE were thinking of a veggie Christmas and saying no meat. Not me.
Are people really that obsessed with meat? It's only one day.

"vegetarian cocktail sausages, and wrap them in veggie bacon slices."Please tell me this is a joke... what exactly is the point of being a vegetarian if you have to imitate meat in order to get a proper meal?

I'm not vegetarian. I like pigs in blankets (the proper meat one too.) Doesn't mean I can't enjoy vegetarian versions too.

Why should someone who really enjoys their turkey be deprived of that on Christmas Day

The 'vegetarian Christmas' was only a suggestion. Seems we'd be the Christmas Grinches from hell if we said we were cooking a veggie meal, so OK, WABU. The turkey stays.
Really don't see the problem with cooking it at your own house though and bringing it over!

whizzpop it's the most important part of the meal for many (probably most) meat eaters. Especially Christmas dinner. Why would you deny a guest that? Especially such a close family member.
I'm a vegetarian who cooks meat nearly every day for my children, I've honestly never found it a problem.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I can't believe posters can't see the reason why the OP's DH wouldn't want a dead animal in his oven, whilst he's trying to cook his vegetarain food.

He may be ok with it for the rest of the year, but maybe he wants one day of the year, without a dead animal in his kitchen.