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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

209 replies

WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 22:09

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are Smile

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 08/11/2014 23:44

Or... have you a nice neighbour that would donate a turkey portion in return for eg a cake?

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 23:47

No, I haven't tried quorn.
Well then, if you haven't ever tried it you can't say you don't like it. (As I say to my kids Grin )
I love turkey. I also enjoy meat alternatives too. You can't sit there and shout "NO! Don't like it. It smells and I hate it." without ever trying it.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 23:49

Ditch the quorn so you have space for turkey and the nut roast?

We don't have nut roast and a Quorn roast. It's one or the other.

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 08/11/2014 23:49

I've tried it, I find it revolting,

Look, just be nice. It's Christmas, she's his mum, let her have her turkey that you're going to take some of anyway, and enjoy the fact that you're not even cooking anyway.

flipchart · 08/11/2014 23:49

As a veggie I flippin hate Quorn!
I make an awesome selection of nut roasts though!

NCIS · 08/11/2014 23:50

Well cover the turkey in the oven and it won't contaminate the special veggie stuff, I do that with the veggie alternative and no one objects, and I have asked the vegetarian before anyone asks.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 08/11/2014 23:53

I think you want us to say you are bring U so that you and DCs can still have turkey on Christmas Day without saying to DH 'can we have some turkey please?' I mean, wtf with all the angst about 'juices' - it is precooked and foil wrapped - there aren't any contaminating juices spurting all over your oven (in fact, twice cooked turkey will be as dry as the Sahara, poor MIL!).

Just let her heat up her turkey.

Momagain1 · 08/11/2014 23:59

It does sound like it's up to your DH, really. You say 'we' but if he is the cook and he is hating to have the meat in the oven At All, vs simply being annoyed by the timing, he needs to man up and say so, and she can either bring it in a more heat preserving container, or do without.

Could she bring it in her slow cooker, to be plugged in elsewhere? If she doesnt have one, maybe you guys could give her an early gift of one of those that the top locks right down for transport?

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 00:11

I think you want us to say you are bring U so that you and DCs can still have turkey on Christmas Day without saying to DH 'can we have some turkey please?

No, that really isn't it. As much as I love it, I honestly don't mind not having turkey for Christmas dinner - as long as I've got my (veggie) pigs in blankets and all the trimmings I'm happy!

OP posts:
MardyBra · 09/11/2014 00:26

YABU.

But more importantly, how the hell do you make pigs in blankets without meat? Confused

MardyBra · 09/11/2014 00:28

" I honestly don't mind not having turkey for Christmas dinner".

But your Mil does. Be a good host and accommodate her.

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 00:48

But more importantly, how the hell do you make pigs in blankets without meat?

You go to Holland and Barrett, buy vegetarian cocktail sausages, and wrap them in veggie bacon slices.
Still very yummy despite the fact they're not 'real' meat Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 00:51

But your Mil does. Be a good host and accommodate her

We do. She can have the microwave to heat up the turkey. We're not saying no meat. Just what we have in the ovens is vegetarian only.

OP posts:
MardyBra · 09/11/2014 02:09

"She can have the microwave to heat up the turkey."

Microwaves can leave reheated food rubbery and tasteless. I think you're being very rude to your mil. And the pigs in blankets sound gross like a poor imitation imo.

musicalendorphins2 · 09/11/2014 05:17

Last year I bought an electric turkey roaster so I could cook meat at my sons house for this very reason. It was too small for the turkey in the end but I did a large ham in it. Was only $20-ish dollars or so on sale at Walmart (Asda in the UK) Electric Roasting Pan

ceres · 09/11/2014 05:46

I don't see the difficulty. I cook Christmas dinner every year, we have anything from 6 to 12 people and I manage to cook a whole turkey, whole ham AND a vegetarian roast. I agree with those who have suggested your dh needs to look at his timings and factor the turkey in - the foil tray can be covered to prevent any issues around meat juices (tbh not an issue with pre-cooked Turkey in gravy as far as I can see)

pearpotter · 09/11/2014 06:25

I'd say "We're keeping it simple and just doing veggie this year". Unless someone has such a complicated dietary requirements that it is easier to bring their own meal then it is ineffably rude to do so and get in the way in the kitchen because for one bloody meal they can't just be cooked for and enjoy it.

If she must bring something, why not the pudding or other dessert?

pearpotter · 09/11/2014 06:33

I don't see the difficulty. I cook Christmas dinner every year, we have anything from 6 to 12 people and I manage to cook a whole turkey, whole ham AND a vegetarian roast

I do see the fucking difficulty- I only have the one oven and last year it was filled with the biggest goose known to mankind.

Christmas dinner is enough faff as it is without needlessly over complicating matters. Just because it is no bother to you doesn't mean it is no bother to someone else.

Friends of ours often work on Christmas Day and their dinner is as simple as possible.

makapakasdirtysponge · 09/11/2014 07:02

Turkey - at least the way it's cooked over here, ie not brined - is the least exciting meat ever. I don't know why people get so worked up about it.

If you were invited to Christmas at a friend's house who didn't eat meat for religious reasons and they didn't want your turkey shoved in their oven with their veggie food I'm sure you wouldn't all be saying YABU. Why should someone's beliefs and values be any less valid just because they're not tied to a religion?

Mehitabel6 · 09/11/2014 07:18

If you cater for one vegetarian you do it- yet it seems to cause such a fuss the other way around and yet I can't see the difference. It is called being a good host, especially on the one day a year that is supposed to be 'goodwill to all'.
She isn't arriving out of the blue with turkey in the middle of the cooking- you have over a months advance warning! Surely DH can sit down with his menu plan in that time and work out timings?
Last Christmas we had 12 of us, 9 with turkey, 2 vegetarians and I vegan - everyone had the meal they wanted without being made to feel a nuisance. It needs someone to sit down and work out the order but it is perfectly possible -unless you want to be narrow minded and difficult!

Mehitabel6 · 09/11/2014 07:20

It is an a foil tray- maka - it is no bother to accommodate it- unless you want to be difficult.

BoomBoomsCousin · 09/11/2014 07:34

I think you would be a bit miserable to imsist she didn't bring turkey because it obviously feels important to her and you don,' want to make it a rotten day for the sake of some squishing in the oven. But could you suggest to her that just for one year she tries eating what the rest of you eat?

Do you eat any of the turkey she brings? Because I wonder if she feels like she's also being nice to you - insisting on turkey so you can have some too on Christmas Day. Which if it is the case, might be a nice gesture to play along with. Depending on your relationship and how much your MiL has going on in her life.

SnapeChat · 09/11/2014 07:42

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BadLad · 09/11/2014 07:55

This is a very bizarre situation. Your husband is the one who is vegetarian, it's him who is doing the cooking and therefore suffering the annoyance and frustration of the turkey "messing up times and stuff", and it's his mother that is causing the inconvenience by bringing the turkey.

And yet somehow it has fallen to you to tell his mother that she can't cook her turkey at your house.

It reads as if you don't like her very much and want to have this little victory in some sort of point-scoring exercise.

I think it would sound better coming from him, and certainly not the way it's phrased in your OP. "We're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?" sounds extremely rude to me. If it's such a problem, let the one being inconvenienced by it tell her why.

Janethegirl · 09/11/2014 07:55

Put the turkey in a roastabag, nicely protected and then the veggie stuff is safe from nasty meaty juices.
I'm not a fan of turkey but it's better than a quorn roast.