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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say we're having a completely veggie Christmas meal this year?

209 replies

WhizzpopWhizzBang · 08/11/2014 22:09

DH is vegetarian, me and two kids aren't but enjoy veggie alternatives too.
Every year, DH cooks the entire Christmas dinner (three courses) and does a vegetarian menu.
Something like
starter - soup
main course - Quorn or nut roast and all the Christmas trimmings (including vegetarian pigs in blankets)
dessert - if we can fit in is mince pies or Christmas pudding.

MIL comes for Christmas dinner. She likes her turkey so brings that. Absolutely fine with that, as we like to eat it too.
Only thing is that she brings over it and starts sticking the turkey in the oven to warm up, which obviously gets in the way of DH cooking and messes up times and stuff.
Are we being unreasonable if we say this year "we're only cooking vegetarian stuff in the kitchen this Christmas, if you want turkey do it at your house and bring it over but it's not getting cooked again when you get here?"
As I know she'll think we are Smile

OP posts:
SanityClause · 09/11/2014 10:34

Put it like this, OP.

If your DH was coming to my house on Christmas Day, I would ask him what he liked to eat for Christmas lunch, as we will be having x,y and z, which I'm sure he won't want.

I would then prepare his meal, and cook it in my second smaller oven, which I would designate a "vegetarian only" oven for the day.

It would be my aim to make sure that everyone enjoyed their Christmas lunch.

Actually, I always cook loads of different side dishes in Christmas day, (we usually eat guinea fowl as the "main feature") to make sure everyone can pick and choose to have the dinner they want.

hectoronthehill · 09/11/2014 10:34

You could buy her a halogen oven for Christmas and plug it in for the turkey!

Mehitabel6 · 09/11/2014 10:38

It isn't much of a problem. One person wants turkey, one wants fully vegetarian and the rest will eat either. I haven't counted the days exactly,but there must be at least 50days to work out how to do it!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/11/2014 10:41

Perhaps if your MIL just brings enough for herself she can have it on a small tray and it won't take up much room at all... Confused

I'm not sure whether it was you or your husband that started 'oven-gate' for Christmas Day of all days but whichever one it was, it's about control as other posters have said. Are neither of you able to problem-solve such a simple thing?

SuburbanRhonda · 09/11/2014 10:46

I don't think I've ever read a thread about vegetarian food on here that doesn't make the claim of vegetarian sausages or burgers "imitating meat".

It's strange that people still feel that a shape belongs to a particular food type.

Mumsnet seems incredibly behind the times when it comes to the way people eat now.

Methe · 09/11/2014 10:51

Surely it's the name vegitarian sausages and vegitarian burgers which indicate the immitation of meat?

Shape has fuck all to do with it Hmm

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 10:54

One oven for turkey, which 4/5 of those attending will enjoy. Plus proper pigs in blankets.
Other oven for veg and substitute pigs in blankets.
DH puts others before himself for one day. Or makes himself a veg option that can be eaten cold or heated in microwave.
Sorted.
Why should the entire menu revolve around him rather than around everyone?

I get the sentiment behind why don't you broach it with your MIL. Not dressed up as what a nuisance she is wanting to use the oven, hmm but that you would like her to try your vegetarian food, rather than thinking she has to bring her own. But be prepared for MI to counter with "I would DH to try my turkey." Which is equally fair in the scheme of things. It sounds as if she actively dislikes the dishes DH prepares which is why she goes to the time, trouble and expense of buying and cooking a turkey- which OP and her DC then tuck into.

FunkyBoldRibena · 09/11/2014 10:58

Surely it's the name vegitarian sausages and vegitarian burgers which indicate the immitation of meat?

You are right - from now on I'm going to call them veggie bullets and veggie flying saucers. Thanks for your insight. Of course nobody will have the faintest clue what the fuck I am on about but no matter.

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 10:59

Agreed, Methe - it's the name for me, not the shape.

After all, potato croquettes are sausage shaped. Cookies are burger shaped. We don't call them "potato sausages" or "biscuit burgers".

Gaia81 · 09/11/2014 11:07

TVP/TSP is imitation meat no matter what shape it is.

bluegardens · 09/11/2014 11:29

You have a slow cooker OP -couldn't you keep the turkey warm in that, assuming it arrives warmish from MIL? Turkey's texture not as affected as with a microwave, it is where your household normally cooks meat, and your dh's cooking is undisturbed. Problem solved?

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 12:05

Or cook the nut roast the day before and heat it up in the slow-cooker, leaving the main oven space free for the food 80% of the family are going to eat?

Nicename · 09/11/2014 12:15

I do veggie but either salmon or turkey breast roll for any carnivires. Veggie Christmas has become veggie gaggus day.

Tip : Never ever get the fake tofu turkey that comes in a box (don't want to name and shame the brand) as it is absolutely inedible (and I will eat just about anything if its veggie).

Nicename · 09/11/2014 12:16

Gaggus? Haggis! How can predictive text go so bad...?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 09/11/2014 12:32

Personally, I think a veggie Christmas meal is lovely. There are many vegetarian "centrepieces" sometimes looking like a giant sausage rollGrin sometimes rice based, nut based, very flavoursome and attractive foods available. And I like meat, but absolutely do not need it to enjoy Christmas.
If I was invited to your home on Christm day I would happily eat a vegetarian festive meal.

But not everyone feels that way. This is not really something that you should insist upon, but something you and DH should discuss with your MiL.
Its worth examining the real motivations (does he ally not like meat cooked in the same oven as his food? If so then microwaving instantly solves that problem) so a solution can be found. She might like the idea. She might be surprised at his new found evangelism on the subject.

FurryDogMother · 09/11/2014 12:46

A hostess trolley would solve your problem :)

Janethegirl · 09/11/2014 12:51

No furry, the OP would need 2, one for the turkey and one for the veggie stuff Grin

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 13:14

A hostess trolley and a fondue set surely?

Agree discussing it with MIL - maybe have turkey dinner round at hers and DH can bring lukewarm veggie option and see how much he enjoys that

Or just be reasonable, accept that for many people Christmas = turkey and MIL does not want to eat quorn surprise instead. Allowing her to heat up her turkey when she clearly doesn't want to eat the alternatives provided is the least that you can do if you won't actually cook the poor woman some turkey.

Castlemilk · 09/11/2014 13:22

Can't she cook it at home then put it in the microwave??

I'm veggie too so I have no idea if this will ruin the meat, sorry - but that seems the most efficient option??

By the way - I tell you what's better than nut roast - mushroom and chestnut roulade. Yum.

RufusTheReindeer · 09/11/2014 13:26

funky

I'm with you...although in America they say patty

So beef patty or vegi patty ????

And I love cookies but I wouldn't call them burger shaped, surely they are just round

(Should point out that I don't dislike the idea of a cookie burger Grin)

FunkyBoldRibena · 09/11/2014 13:27

Patty is like tummy. Should not be voiced by anyone over the age of 12.

Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 13:28

Can't she cook it at home then put it in the microwave??

That's what I said we could do in the middle of the thread, the turkey stays as I accept we are being unreasonable to say completely veggie but heat it up in the microwave when she gets here.
People said that's unfair as well though. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
WhizzpopWhizzBang · 09/11/2014 13:28

By the way - I tell you what's better than nut roast - mushroom and chestnut roulade. Yum.

Not tried that, but sounds delicious!

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 09/11/2014 13:29

Coming late to this but have you got a slow cooker? Put it on well in advance so it is really hot, with an inch or so of boiling water in the bottom, then when she arrives put her foil tray straight in there. It will heat the meat but stop it drying out. Its what we do at Xmas because we cook the meal between us, I do the turkey and stuffing and take it to mums to reheat, she does the veg and my sister does the spuds and pigs in blankets. Its quite doable if you think about it in advance.

It does seem very mean to say "no meat or cold meat, but dont forget to bring enough for me and the kids!". You want it all ways!

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 13:36

Well, if you really think it is a good idea to put turkey in a foil dish in the microwave, then good luck.

TBH you are sending out clear signals that you think MIL us unreasonable to go to the trouble of cooking a turkey which she brings around and you and your DC then enjoy eating.

As 4/5 of the people at the meal enjoy the turkey, why is the whole meal about what DH wants? he is the sole vegetarian and yet he's insisting on a veggie meal he knows his mother doesn't want, so much so that she goes to the time, trouble and expense of buying, preparing, cooking, carving and then placing in a foil dish to bring for everyone else to enjoy. He is coming across as really selfish.