AIBU to say nothing to DH even though I can't unknow what I know !

[Toofat2BtheFly]

Right , first post so be nice , and I will do my best grammar wise but it's not my strong point ...

Anyway let me set the scene ... I'm a married FT working mommy to 3 DDs eldest is 16 then 3 and 4 year old .

Mornings are also not my strong point but somehow I manage to get everyone up and ready and out the door in a reasonable state of dress on timeish , dropped off at school , nursery , collage and get to my desk for 9am , my little ones are not the most cooperative of kids first thing in the morning but we get the job done usually at the expense of the housework , ie breakfast stuff not in the dishwasher , toys left out , pj's left where ever they were taken off ...

DH has a huge issue with this as he thinks I should be more organised ,he is gone way before kids get up the morning so actually has no idea what happens UNTIL NOW

Today I have found several recordings of upto 2 hours long on the IPAD recording exactly what goes on a morning ... The shit bag has been secretly taping me on a app ... I've no idea what he plans to achieve by this or what he intends to do with the info on there but I can't tell you how upset I am ...

He is generally a fairly decent DH and DF , but I know he will try to laugh it off if I mention it or say something along the lines if I had nothing to hide it shouldn't be a problem , or something else similar ..

WIBU to say nothing to his face but Monday morning talk to the iPad to let him know I know , ie 'good morning DH , hope u enjoy today's thrilling installment of the morning routine ' .... It's a bit PA but I'm too heartbroken to row which is a shame as usually love a good row ...

Wise mumnetters , give me a good talking too please !

I'd move out into the spare room for a few days "since you are so affected by my snoring".

Petty, I know. But he was pettier.

Yep I would move him into the spare room for a few days and also take a few days off work and let him run the house.

I thiught the recording was being done in the family area.
You say the ipad is under your bed.
He won't get much information from that as it only records in the morning you say. Unless you have a secret lover who comes in just before you go to work as you get your little ones ready...... and your teenage child doesn't object.
Weird.

Oops cross posted.

Isn't that nice of him to add another task to your already busy morning... the task? Check the ipad when you get up to make sure he hasn't put the app back on and resumed sneakily recording you without your permission again.

Something like that would bother me and I'd have to check the bloody ipad each and every morning from then on... and each time I did, I'd get that much more irritated at him.

There's a sleep recording app that you get for iPhones and iPads. It records snoring and is is sound activated. My DIL used it for my son as he refused to believe how loud he snored. He knew about it though. Is that the app he used OP?

I couldn't let this drop with that explanation.

I think you need to disappear for a few days and let him see what it's like trying to get two young children awake, dressed, dressed. fed and and out of the house, with everything they need for their day and have himself ready for work without being late, and then ask him to come back to you and discuss it…...

snoring isn't recorded in the 10 mins before an alarm goes off.
he's full of it.

keep vigilent, he's up to something here. :(

you should get him to do as chool morning and show you how it can be done better.
My DH has done a few and hes frazzled after. It will get easier as they get older and do more for themselves. Mine are 5 and 10.They tidy up after themselves now.
I get up 7.35, shower, get kids clothes, packed lunch, breakfast on the table.Check FB put dishwasher on have a cuppa and out of the door for 8.30.

Ooof. Definitely lying about the snoring - and a controlling twat, it seems. Keep your eye on him.

I must admit it's all strange....recording 10 mins of snoring prior to waking and he knows you have a cold....

Nah

He could do it all better. Hmmm. I'd be 'going away with work' for a couple of nights & see how well he copes. It's easy to be the critical viewer after the fact and say how you'd do things sooooo much better. It's different dealing with variables like real live children who don't take 'orders' or behave like you expect them to.

This is bizarre and I could not let it rest. What an absolute dick he is being. No excuse. I would give him hell. You should have played tricks and got a man friend round.

Forget everything else - the chaos, the kids, the shouting, the morning arguments. 100% normal.

I just cannot get my head around the fact that he has spied on you in your own home.

This is such a huge, gross intrusion of personal privacy, contravening every verbal and non-verbal commitment of a partnership and of parenthood, that I am surprised you have not gone to the police tbh. How on earth can you seriously consider living with this person for one more day?

So, did you talk to him OP?