AIBU to say nothing to DH even though I can't unknow what I know !

[Toofat2BtheFly]

Right , first post so be nice , and I will do my best grammar wise but it's not my strong point ...

Anyway let me set the scene ... I'm a married FT working mommy to 3 DDs eldest is 16 then 3 and 4 year old .

Mornings are also not my strong point but somehow I manage to get everyone up and ready and out the door in a reasonable state of dress on timeish , dropped off at school , nursery , collage and get to my desk for 9am , my little ones are not the most cooperative of kids first thing in the morning but we get the job done usually at the expense of the housework , ie breakfast stuff not in the dishwasher , toys left out , pj's left where ever they were taken off ...

DH has a huge issue with this as he thinks I should be more organised ,he is gone way before kids get up the morning so actually has no idea what happens UNTIL NOW

Today I have found several recordings of upto 2 hours long on the IPAD recording exactly what goes on a morning ... The shit bag has been secretly taping me on a app ... I've no idea what he plans to achieve by this or what he intends to do with the info on there but I can't tell you how upset I am ...

He is generally a fairly decent DH and DF , but I know he will try to laugh it off if I mention it or say something along the lines if I had nothing to hide it shouldn't be a problem , or something else similar ..

WIBU to say nothing to his face but Monday morning talk to the iPad to let him know I know , ie 'good morning DH , hope u enjoy today's thrilling installment of the morning routine ' .... It's a bit PA but I'm too heartbroken to row which is a shame as usually love a good row ...

Wise mumnetters , give me a good talking too please !

Are the iPads definitely the only recording devices in the house?

It sounds like he's a total fucking arse. Jesus, what a charmer eh? Talk about total lack of boundaries, privacy and respect for you.

I think I would just walk into the room, put the recording on play while holding the ipad and just say to him "okay... start talking... I want an explanation..." and wait for one.

I'd also be wondering what else he was recording.

Can you just delete the recordings?
That way he will know you know but will have to confess to doing it to talk to you about it.

It is a huge betrayal of trust. He has some big questions to answer, it puts a spin on your whole relationship.

I assume that DH washes up and puts away all his breakfast things in the morning before he leaves.

I agree the timings aren't the issue. I was just wondering if we could help as she said she wasn't a morning person. I also said she was doing well, inmy previous post, to get everyone where they needed to neon time.

I agree the recordings are creepy. Apologies for not being clearer.

Right , they have gone ... I'm ready to face this head on ,

Just going to get the little ones settled in front of a film and then casually mention the iPad ,

Wish me luck !

You don't need the luck - he does.
Good luck anyway!

Wowzers... good luck op

I hope you get to the bottom of it, sounds so very odd.

OP, I was just about to post that he is checking what time you get up, and probably gathering evidence for your next discussion about morning routine! Whatever he says to defend his actions this is a massive breach of trust. I would be telling him that his obsession with morning routines is now very low on agenda, and the focus needs to be on whether he can repair the damage he has caused by covertly recording you, or if you need to start discussing seperation. Be clear and concise and stick to your point that his behaviour is unacceptable and a breach of trust. Sorry you are having to deal with this. Good luck.

Good luck

Gosh! not shamelessly place marking cos I'm a nosy bitch oh no

Indeed. Hope there is an innocent explanation.

Good luck

Is it even legal to record someone without their knowledge? Any lawyers around?

What a twat. I'd go ballistic at this, it says a lot about him, but what was he going to do with the info? Suggest you get up 5 minutes earlier and confess he's been recording you? That says a lot about him. He thinks it's acceptable.

Good luck!

He has no idea does he. Get the jerk to do a few mornings on his own and see how "easy" it is. Fucker.

Interesting that it's 3 days in a row. I think that rather cancels out any suggestion that it was accidental. Three days in a row at the same time suggests that he is being deliberate and has a specific purpose. I imagine he didn't get the results he expected (such as perhaps OP lazing in bed eating bon bons while the dcs ran riot) the first day, so he recorded a couple more, in case her getting up and being busy in the morning was maybe a one off.

Good luck

Chipping in with 'wow' and good luck OP

Good luck!

He hasn't just upgraded to ios8 has he? Could be inadvertently activating the new recording feature in Messages?

how strange of your oh. How many mornings has he done? As he isn't there to help, does he sort the clothes for the little ones and get packed lunches ready the night before?

inadvertently 3 days in a row??